LITTLE Neville ON MATH
Little Neville returns from school and says he got an F in arithmetic.
"Why?" asks the father?"
The teacher asked 'How much is 2x3,'" I said "6", replies Neville .
"But that's right!" says his dad.
"Yeah, but then she asked me "How much is 3x2?'"
"What's the f..... difference?" asks the father."
That's what I said!"
LITTLE Neville ON ENGLISH
Little Neville goes to school, and the teacher says,
"Today we are going to learn multi-syllable words, class.
Does anybody have an example o f a multi-syllable word?"
Neville says "Mas-tur-bate."
Miss Rogers smiles and says, "Wow, little Neville , that's a mouthful."
Little Neville says, "No, Miss Rogers, you're thinking of a blowjob."
LITTLE Neville ON GRAMMAR
Little Neville was sitting in class one day. All of a sudden, he needed to go to the bathroom.
He yelled out, "Miss Jones, I need to take a piss!!"
The teacher replied, 'Now, Neville , that is NOT the proper word touse in this situation.The correct word you want to use is 'urinate.' Please use the word 'ur-i-nate' in a sentence correctly, and I will allow you to go.
"Little Neville , thinks for a bit, and then says, "You're an eight,but if you had bigger boobs , you'd be a TEN!"
LITTLE Neville ON GRAMMAR (Part 2)
One day, during lessons on proper grammar, the teacher asked for a show of hands from those who could use the word "beautiful" in the same sentence twice.
First, she called on little Suzie, who responded with, "My father bought my mother a beautiful dress and she looked beautiful in it." "Very good, Suzie," replied the teacher.
She then called on little Michael."My mommy planned a beautiful banquet and it turned out beautifully."She said, "Excellent, Michael!"
Then the teacher reluctantly called on little Neville ."Last night at the dinner table, my sister told my father that she was pregnant, and he said 'Beautiful, just f...... beautiful!'"
LITTLE Neville ON GETTING OLDER
Little Neville was sitting on a park bench munching on one candy bar after another.
After the 6th one a man on the bench across from him said, "Son, you know eating all that candy isn't good for you. It will give you acne, rot your teeth, and make you fat."
Little Neville replied, "My grandfather lived to be 107 years old."
The man asked, "Did your grandfather eat 6 candy bars at a time?"
Little Neville answered, "No, he minded his own f....... business