Church Analytics

Monday, June 4, 2007

Youngest Mother in the World till date.

A 5 year old girl from Peru, named Lina Medina is the youngest mother ever! The Peruvian girl from the Andean village of Ticrapo live with her parents… Lina’s parents initially thought their daughter had a large abdominal tumor… but Lina was eventually transferred to a hospital in Lima, where she delivered a six-pound baby boy by Cesarean section on 14 May 1939.(Coincidentally,the day on which Mother's day was celebrated). Lina’s father was temporarily jailed on suspicion of incest, but he was released for a lack of evidence and authorities were never able to determine who fathered Lina’s child.

Lina first came to the attention of Dr. Gerado Lozada, chief physician of the hospital of Piso,when she came to the hospital on the evaluation of an abdominal tumour. But it soon became obvious to the stunned physician thet the girl was pregnant. A medical histroy revealed that she had being having regular menstruation since the age 3 but had stopped menstruating for the past 7 1/2 months. Additionally, she had fully developed breast and further examination revealed a fetal heartbeat and an xray confrimed the pregnancy.

Jose Sandoval, an obstetrician who took an interest in Lina Medina’s case and authored a book about her in 2002 said that Lina was a psychologically normal child, that she displayed no other unusual medical symptoms, and that she preferred playing with dolls rather than her own child.
I read this article and was stunned. A lot of people didn't believe it to be true even though the girl's picture was published. Some thought it was Kwashiorkor, while others thought it was Fetus in Fetu, when a twin gtes trpeped inside another twin.
The picture on the right is the picture of Lina and her son Gerado whom she named after the doctor. Gerado died in 1979 from a bone marrow infection , but Lina had another son with her husband in 1972. Lina now lives with her husband in Mexico.

It is really amazing.

This is the link to the original story. Read more:

Then there is 10year old Gladys Chelagat from Kenya, holding her baby who weighs 2.8kg at Kericho district hospital in Kenya. She was a former pupil of Chemamul Primary School. She had her baby through Caeserian Operation.

Sunday, June 3, 2007


Box Donation

A married Irishman went into the confessional and said to his priest, "I almost had an affair with another woman."

The priest said, "What do you mean, almost?"

The Irishman said, "Well, we got undressed and rubbed together, but then I stopped."

The priest said, "Rubbing together is the same as putting it in. You're not to see that woman again. For your penance, say five Hail Mary's and put $50 in the poor box."

The Irishman left the confessional, said his prayers, and then walked over to the poor box.

He paused for a moment and then started to leave.

The priest, who was watching, quickly ran over to him saying, "I saw that. You didn't put any money in the poor box!"

The Irishman replied, "Yeah, but I rubbed the $50 on the box, and according to you, that's the same as putting it in!"


Lemon Squeeze.

There once was a religious young woman who went to Confession.

Upon entering the confessional, she said, "Forgive me, Father, for I have sinned."
The priest said, "Confess your sins and be forgiven."

The young woman said, "Last night my boyfriend made mad, passionate love to me seven times."

The priest thought long and hard and then said, "Squeeze seven lemons into a glass and then drink the juice."

The young woman asked, "Will this cleanse me of my sins?"

The priest said, "No, but it will wipe that smile off of your face."


Looks of Disappointment

A man was just waking up from anesthesia after surgery, and his wife was sitting by his side. His eyes fluttered open and he said, "You're beautiful." Then he fell asleep again.

His wife had never heard him say that before, so she stayed by his side. A few minutes later his eyes fluttered open and he said, "You're cute."

The wife was disappointed because instead of "beautiful," it was now"cute."

She asked, "What happened to beautiful?"

The man replied, "The drugs are wearing off."


Catholic Dog

Muldoon lived alone in the Irish countryside with only a pet dog for company. One day the dog died, and Muldoon went to the parish priest and asked, "Father, my dog is dead. Could ya' be saying' a mass for the poor creature?"

Father Patrick replied, "I'm afraid not; we cannot have services for an animal in the church. But there are some Baptists down the lane, and there's no tellin' what they believe. Maybe they'll do something for the creature."

Muldoon said, "I'll go right away Father. Do ya' think $5,000 is enough to donate to them for the service?"

Father Patrick exclaimed, "Sweet Mary, Mother of Jesus! Why didn't ya tell me the dog was Catholic



Father O'Malley answers the phone. "Hello, is this Father O'Malley?"

"It is!"

"This is the Tax Dept. Can you help us?"

"I can!"

"Do you know a Ted Houlihan?"

"I do!"

"Is he a member of your congregation?"

"He is!"

"Did he donate $10,000 to the church?"

"He will."



An elderly man walks into a confessional. The following conversation ensues:

Man: "I am 92 years old, have a wonderful wife of 70 years, many children, grandchildren, and great grandchildren. Yesterday, I picked up two college girls, hitchhiking. We went to a motel, where I had sex with each of them three times."

Priest: "Are you sorry for your sins?"

Man: "What sins?"

Priest: "What kind of a Catholic are you?"

Man: "I'm Jewish."

Priest: "Why are you telling me all this?"

Man: "I'm 92 years old .... I'm telling everybody!"


Brothel Trip

An elderly man goes into a brothel and tells the madam he would like a young girl for the night. Surprised, she looks at the ancient man and asks how old he is.

"I'm 90 years old," he says.

"90!" replies the woman. "Don't you realize you've had it?"

"Oh, sorry," says the old man. "How much do I owe you?"



An elderly man went to his doctor and said, "Doc, I think I'm getting senile. Several times lately, I have forgotten to zip up."

"That's not senility," replied the doctor. "Senility is when you forget to zip down."

Pest Control

A woman was having a passionate affair with an inspector from a pest-control company. One afternoon they were carrying on in the bedroom together when her husband arrived home unexpectedly.

"Quick," said the woman to the lover,"into the closet!" and she pushed him in the closet, stark naked.

The husband, however, became suspicious and after a search of the bedroom discovered the man in the closet.

"Who are you?" he asked him.

"I'm an inspector from Bugs-B-Gone," said the exterminator.

"What are you doing in there?" the husband asked.

"I'm investigating a complaint about an infestation of moths," the man replied.

"And where are your clothes?" asked the husband.

The man looked down at himself and said, "Those little bastards!"

Saturday, June 2, 2007

The New Face of Cars in 2008

Aston Martin. V8 Vantage N24 . This year Ford sold Aston martin to a group of business men for $900 Million. This here is a racing version of its V8 Vantage called the N24, based on the V8 Vantage that competed in the Nürburgring 24-hour endurance race—hence the name. We dont know if any changes will be made to Aston Martin by its new owners.
2008 Cadillac CTS.
The CTS continues to advance the design language for GM’s premium brand into the 2008 model year. With smoothed edges and a sculpted hood, the new CTS gets a larger grille inspired by the Cadillac Sixteen concept from a few years ago. The 2008 CTS is two inches wider, which gives the new model a more planted look as well as making room for an all-wheel drive version. The interior has been completely redone with a new center stack, instrument panel and seats that incorporate a “thin seat” technology that provides more usable space. Additional use of LED for ambient lighting provides a dramatic effect.

2008 BMW M3

After much anticipation among the motoring enthusiast crowd, the next generation of BMW’s legendary M3 has finally been revealed. And for the first time in its 15-year history the M3 will get V8 power. Under the bulging hood will lurk a 4.0-liter V8 engine producing 420 horsepower and 295 lb-ft of torque, teamed with a 6-speed manual transmission rather than the controversial sequential manual gearbox (SMG). BMW claims 0-62 mph in 4.8 seconds with a governed top speed of 155 mph. The bold fender flares, air intakes, side sills and discreet rear spoiler will help differentiate the M3 from the standard 3-Series. The M3 will also be the first in the segment with a carbon fiber reinforced roof for greater rigidity and a lower center of gravity.

2008 Bentley Brooklands

The Brooklands—named for the British racetrack that celebrates its 100th anniversary this year—is a traditional Bentley touring coupe. Under this impressive vehicle's very long hood resides the most powerful V8 engine ever from Bentley. The twin-turbocharged 6.75-liter V8 pumps out 530 horsepower and an amazing 775 lb-ft of torque which should move this car along at an exhilarating pace. As expected, the Brooklands boasts a sumptuous interior with the highest quality leather and wood trim. Only 550 will ever be built.

2008 Audi S5

The 2008 model year began with a bang when the German automaker revealed its first-ever supercar at the 2006 Paris Motor Show. The all-new 2008 R8 sports a 420-horsepower 4.2-liter aluminum V8 engine located just behind the driver. The R8 achieves 62mph in less than five seconds. And it's no surprise that power goes to all four wheels via the company’s legendary quattro all-wheel-drive system. The R8 arrives later this year, priced around $130,000. For something a little more down to earth, later this year Audi will come to market with the all-new A5 coupe and its more powerful sibling, the S5. With Audi's signature trapezoidal grille, the new 4-seat coupes fit into the lineup between the A4 / S4 and the A6 / S6. Audi has also redesigned its iconic TT coupe and roadster. A difficult vehicle to redesign given its unique styling, Audi has done an excellent job evolving the look while keeping the TT completely recognizable. Available, of course, with quattro all-wheel drive, the TT gets its motivation from either a 200-horsepower 2.0-liter engine or a 250-horsepower V6.