Church Analytics
Wednesday, May 2, 2007
Men just want Women to Swallow their Semen!
Women who perform the act of fellatio and swallow semen on a regular basis, one to two times a week, may reduce their risk of breast cancer by up to 40 percent, a North Carolina State University study found.
Doctors had never suspected a link between the act of fellatio and breast cancer, but new research being performed at North Carolina State University is starting to suggest that there could be an important link between the two.
In a study of over 15,000 women suspected of having performed regular fellatio and swallowed the ejaculatory fluid, over the past ten years, the researchers found that those actually having performed the act regularly, one to two times a week, had a lower occurance of breast cancer than those who had not. There was no increased risk, however, for those who did not regularly perform.
"I think it removes the last shade of doubt that fellatio is actually a healthy act," said Dr. A.J. Kramer of Johns Hopkins School of Medicine, who was not involved in the research. "I am surprised by these findings, but am also excited that the researchers may have discovered a relatively easy way to lower the occurance of breast cancer in women."
The University researchers stressed that, though breast cancer is relatively uncommon, any steps taken to reduce the risk would be a wise decision.
"Only with regular occurance will your chances be reduced, so I encourage all women out there to make fellatio an important part of their daily routine," said Dr. Helena Shifteer, one of the researchers at the University. "Since the emergence of the research, I try to fellate at least once every other night to reduce my chances."
The study is reported in Friday's Journal of Medical Research.
In 1991, 43,582 women died of breast cancer, as reported by the National Cancer Institute.
Dr. Len Lictepeen, deputy chief medical officer for the American Cancer Society, said women should not overlook or "play down" these findings.
"This will hopefully change women's practice and patterns, resulting in a severe drop in the future number of cases," Lictepeen said.
Sooner said the research shows no increase in the risk of breast cancer in those who are, for whatever reason, not able to fellate regularly.
"There's definitely fertile ground for more research. Many have stepped forward to volunteer for related research now in the planning stages," he said.
Almost every woman is, at some point, going to perform the act of fellatio, but it is the frequency at which this event occurs that makes the difference, say researchers. Also key seems to be the protein and enzyme count in the semen, but researchers are again waiting for more test data.
The reasearch consisted of two groups, 6,246 women ages 25 to 45 who had performed fellatio and swallowed on a regular basis over the past five to ten years, and 9,728 women who had not or did not swallow. The group of women who had performed and swallowed had a breast cancer rate of 1.9 percent and the group who had not had a breast cancer rate of 10.4 percent.
"The findings do suggest that there are other causes for breast cancer besides the absence of regular fellatio," Shafteer said. "It's a cause, not THE cause."
Doctors had never suspected a link between the act of fellatio and breast cancer, but new research being performed at North Carolina State University is starting to suggest that there could be an important link between the two.
In a study of over 15,000 women suspected of having performed regular fellatio and swallowed the ejaculatory fluid, over the past ten years, the researchers found that those actually having performed the act regularly, one to two times a week, had a lower occurance of breast cancer than those who had not. There was no increased risk, however, for those who did not regularly perform.
"I think it removes the last shade of doubt that fellatio is actually a healthy act," said Dr. A.J. Kramer of Johns Hopkins School of Medicine, who was not involved in the research. "I am surprised by these findings, but am also excited that the researchers may have discovered a relatively easy way to lower the occurance of breast cancer in women."
The University researchers stressed that, though breast cancer is relatively uncommon, any steps taken to reduce the risk would be a wise decision.
"Only with regular occurance will your chances be reduced, so I encourage all women out there to make fellatio an important part of their daily routine," said Dr. Helena Shifteer, one of the researchers at the University. "Since the emergence of the research, I try to fellate at least once every other night to reduce my chances."
The study is reported in Friday's Journal of Medical Research.
In 1991, 43,582 women died of breast cancer, as reported by the National Cancer Institute.
Dr. Len Lictepeen, deputy chief medical officer for the American Cancer Society, said women should not overlook or "play down" these findings.
"This will hopefully change women's practice and patterns, resulting in a severe drop in the future number of cases," Lictepeen said.
Sooner said the research shows no increase in the risk of breast cancer in those who are, for whatever reason, not able to fellate regularly.
"There's definitely fertile ground for more research. Many have stepped forward to volunteer for related research now in the planning stages," he said.
Almost every woman is, at some point, going to perform the act of fellatio, but it is the frequency at which this event occurs that makes the difference, say researchers. Also key seems to be the protein and enzyme count in the semen, but researchers are again waiting for more test data.
The reasearch consisted of two groups, 6,246 women ages 25 to 45 who had performed fellatio and swallowed on a regular basis over the past five to ten years, and 9,728 women who had not or did not swallow. The group of women who had performed and swallowed had a breast cancer rate of 1.9 percent and the group who had not had a breast cancer rate of 10.4 percent.
"The findings do suggest that there are other causes for breast cancer besides the absence of regular fellatio," Shafteer said. "It's a cause, not THE cause."
Saturday, April 28, 2007
Top 5 Billionaires in Britain.
Mittal Steel's President of the Board Lakshmi Mittal smiles during a news conference in London on August 4, 2006. Britain is now home to almost 70 billionaires with steel magnate Lakshmi Mittal heading the latest annual Rich List.
It seems the richer one is, the easier it is for one to get even richer.
Mittal led the field with a fortune estimated at 19.25 billion pounds.
Next in line came Russian oil magnate and Chelsea Football Club owner Roman Abramovich. Despite divorcing from his wife Irina, he is still worth 10.8 billion pounds.
Then The Duke of Westminster. Thanks to his portfolio of lucrative properties in London's choicest areas.
Two new entrants in the latest top list are art collector David Khalili and businessman Jim Ratcliffe.
Khalili, an Iranian who now lives in London, has built up a huge collection of Islamic art.
Ratcliffe has been dubbed the chemical industry's "answer to Lakshmi Mittal" for building up his business empire over the past 15 years.
Classes For Men At The.....!
Classes for Men at
THE
ADULT LEARNING CENTER
REGISTRATION MUST BE COMPLETED
by Monday, Aug 30, 2007
NOTE: DUE TO THE COMPLEXITY AND DIFFICULTY LEVEL OF THEIR CONTENTS, CLASS SIZES WILL BE LIMITED TO 8 PARTICIPANTS MAXIMUM.
Class 1
How To Fill Up The Ice Cube Trays--Step by Step, with Slide Presentation.Meets 4 weeks, Monday and Wednesday for 2 hours beginning at 7:00 PM.
Class 2
The Toilet Paper Roll--Does It Change Itself?
Round Table Discussion.
Meets 2 weeks, Saturday 12:00 for 2 hours.
Class 3
Is It Possible To Urinate Using The Technique Of Lifting The Seat and Avoiding The Floor, Walls and Nearby Bathtub?
Group Practice.
Meets 4 weeks, Saturday 10:00 PM for 2 hours.
Class 4
Fundamental Differences Between The Laundry Hamper and The Floor.
Pictures and Explanatory Graphics.
Meets Saturdays at 2:00 PM for 3 weeks.
Class 5
Dinner Dishes--Can They Levitate and Fly Into The Kitchen Sink?
Examples on Video
Meets 4 weeks, Tuesday and Thursday for 2 hours beginning at 7:00 PM
Class 6
Loss Of Identity--Losing The Remote To Your Significant Other.
Help Line Support and Support Groups.
Meets 4 Weeks, Friday and Sunday 7:00 PM
Class 7
Learning How To Find Things--Starting With Looking In The Right Places And Not Turning The House Upside Down While Screaming.
Open Forum.
Monday at 8:00 PM, 2 hours.
Class 8
Health Watch--Bringing Her Flowers Is Not Harmful To Your Health.
Graphics and Audio Tapes.
Three nights; Monday, Wednesday, Friday at 7:00 PM for 2 hours.
Class 9
Real Men Ask For Directions When Lost
Real Life Testimonials.
Tuesdays at 6:00 PM Location to be determined.
Class 10
Is It Genetically Impossible To Sit Quietly While She Parallel Parks?Driving Simulations.
4 weeks, Saturday's noon, 2 hours.
Class 11
Learning to Live--Basic Differences Between Mother and Wife.
Online Classes and role-playing.
Tuesdays at 7:00 PM, location to be determined
Class 12
How to be the Ideal Shopping Companion.
Relaxation Exercises, Meditation and Breathing Techniques.
Meets 4 weeks, Tuesday and Thursday for 2 hours beginning at 7:00 PM.
Class 13
How to Fight Cerebral Atrophy--Remembering Birthdays, Anniversaries and Other Important Dates and Calling When You're Going To Be Late.
Cerebral Shock Therapy Sessions and Full Lobotomies Offered.
Three nights; Monday, Wednesday, Friday at 7:00 PM for 2 hours.
Class 14
The Stove/Oven--What It Is and How It Is Used.
Live Demonstration.
Tuesdays at 6:00 PM, location to be determined.
Upon completion of any of the above courses, diplomas will be issued to the survivors.
This is to all the guys who think they can stand the heat, and to all the ladies for the best chuckle of their day!
Friday, April 27, 2007
Pictures of Lagos, Nigeria.
A view of 'The Island'. Lagos, Nigeria.
Lagos at Night.So many foreigners don't know how developed Africa is. They think we are still so far behind in civilisation. Sometimes i talk wt some people online and they ask questions like "Are there lions walking on the streets in ur country?",Do u guys eat wt ur fingers all the time?", Do u know Victoria Secrets?", "Oh, u can speak fluent English!", "What's the official Language in Nigeria?", "Do u know what a web cam is?" and so many other questions!
But it's not their fault. The International Media NEVER show anything good that happens in Africa. They would rather concentrate on issues like War in Africa, Ethnic Clashes,Poor areas in Africa, Starvation, etc they will NEVER show u beautiful areas in Africa, always NEGATIVE, cos they don't want people to know how developing we are becoming.
A friend of mine showed me where he lived in Europe,so i asked him to check pictures of Lagos on the net, what he saw and sent to me brought tears to my eyes. So i decided to show those who are in interested in Nigeria some parts of Lagos(which is where i live).
Lagos is a beautiful City, we may not be as organised as other cities,but there are loads of fun here. The Night life is fantastic!
There are several Shopping Malls, Cinemas, 1 Theatre, 2 Stadia (but only one is functional), Bars, Pubs, Clubs, Restaurants,1 Federal University in Lagos(University of Lagos), Several Private Universities, Colleges of Education and Polytechnics, Amusement Park, Businesses.National Arts Theatre ,etc.
These are very few pics of Lagos State.
An Overview of Lagos.
The Protea.Link:http://travel.yahoo.com/p-hotel-341360-protea_hotel_victoria-i;_ylt=AmKD0zjqf0mGDOwMAw_Vzu8J8b8F
The Sheraton. Link:http://travel.yahoo.com/p-hotel-384466-sheraton_lagos_hotel_towers-i;_ylt=Ai2Tut0cJfDMxvzdajbO7FIJ8b8F
A swimming Pool Area. 
Broad Street,Lagos .
Marina, Lagos.
The Intercontinental House, Lagos.
The National Arts Theatre, Iganmu, Lagos. 
Inside The Palms Shopping Mall.
The Outside View of the Palms Shopping Mall.
The SilverBird Galleria(Cinema).
Back View of the Sheraton Hotel, Lagos.
The Reception Area of the Eko Hotel, Lagos.
The Sea View. 
Swimming Pool Area. 
Local Market in Lagos.
A view of Ajose Adeogun in Victoria Island.
The Eko Hotel.http://travel.yahoo.com/p-hotel-394825-le_meridien_eko_hotel-i;_ylt=AvEV4BMUV0X.1k03_nsrThfiphQB
To Stevo, Greg and all those interested in knowing more about Nigeria,its people and culture, pls visit:http://www.motherlandnigeria.com/pictures.html
To Stevo, Greg and all those interested in knowing more about Nigeria,its people and culture, pls visit:http://www.motherlandnigeria.com/pictures.html
Online Relaionships.
There are a lot of dating sites on the Internet offering Friendship,Love, Marriage et al to Straight, Gay and Bisexual people .
So many people have bn married by this means. I know 2 of my friends who have bn married this way, and they are still with their husbands.Still very happy. Both have bn married for 2 years, one has a daughter, but the other doesn't have a child yet.
But it's not always rosy. Some people have met dangerous people via the net... while others who are 2 shy or too busy 2 have real relationships have bn able to communicate their feelings to people who share the same interest(s) as them.
Some people travel several miles to meet strange people they have only chatted wt online, based on the long/frequent communications they have had wt their online friends/lovers,and also based on feelings they may have developed during the course of their communication.
This form of communication could either be via SMSES, Phone calls, Chatting or via Webcams.
Sometimes it works out, other times it doesn't.
People!! What do u think about online dating?
Had a Good Night.
Had a good night tonite, could have bn better but I'm not moaning. At all,at all, na im bad pass. Lol.
I hope the rest of this weekend turns out like this.
Good night people.
Kisses.
Puss Puss.
I hope the rest of this weekend turns out like this.
Good night people.
Kisses.
Puss Puss.
From Set with Love.
Hi guys, I am a passionate person. I like people in general and the ones I love and call loved ones and care about, I really do care and am protective of them.
I am almost always brought to tears every time I see poverty in Africa on TV. I watched America Idols, 'Idol gives back' last night and I am still surprised, hurt and broken everytime I see poverty in Africa. I have seen this stuff first hand, I am African, but fortunate one. I am still blown away man. I am hurt by it, I am kinda helpless and it hurts.I gave back and have been working with an Orphanage for about 8 yrs now in Liberia. I have done other work with other the less fortunate cases, but it is not enough, for I don't have a lot to give.
We all can give back in our simpliest ways and make a big difference in our community and Africa, but we don't. We could start with one person, pay an unfortunate child's school fees, Help a sick people in need of Malaria (# 1 killer in all of Africa) treatment at your local clinics.There is always someone almost at death due to no money for treatment. Do this a few times a year, buy Mosquito nets, you will be surprised how much this will do. And the thing is that they are cheap ass treatments too. I am going to do something about this in my own way I will try, in God I will. You too guys can, it will make you a better person inside and out.
Ok, I am mad and have vented, So the question is:
What will you do if your best friend, your sister or brother was about to date someone you have reservations/concerns about? Would you tell them your concerns before they start dating or wait until things goes wrong before you say what your reservations/concerns are?
Thanks Guys.
I am almost always brought to tears every time I see poverty in Africa on TV. I watched America Idols, 'Idol gives back' last night and I am still surprised, hurt and broken everytime I see poverty in Africa. I have seen this stuff first hand, I am African, but fortunate one. I am still blown away man. I am hurt by it, I am kinda helpless and it hurts.I gave back and have been working with an Orphanage for about 8 yrs now in Liberia. I have done other work with other the less fortunate cases, but it is not enough, for I don't have a lot to give.
We all can give back in our simpliest ways and make a big difference in our community and Africa, but we don't. We could start with one person, pay an unfortunate child's school fees, Help a sick people in need of Malaria (# 1 killer in all of Africa) treatment at your local clinics.There is always someone almost at death due to no money for treatment. Do this a few times a year, buy Mosquito nets, you will be surprised how much this will do. And the thing is that they are cheap ass treatments too. I am going to do something about this in my own way I will try, in God I will. You too guys can, it will make you a better person inside and out.
Ok, I am mad and have vented, So the question is:
What will you do if your best friend, your sister or brother was about to date someone you have reservations/concerns about? Would you tell them your concerns before they start dating or wait until things goes wrong before you say what your reservations/concerns are?
Thanks Guys.
TGIF!
Thank God It's Friday! Had a quiet day at work today. But i'm glad to be home. Was invited to go to a Lingerie show today but i declined. Want to rest today,Abeg.
'Not in a good mood right now but, I'm feeling like this cos of my own stupid fault.
Will add more stuff when i feel better. Not in a good state of mind now'.
The 2nd and 3rd paragraphs were a draft i made yesterday. Was a bit down due to some reason......but i feel a whole better today.
I am going to..... wt a special somebody today. Don't start making insinuations just becos i didn't say what I'm going to do. But it's not what u guys think. It's purely innocent but it's what gives me happiness(at least at the moment). Hope it lasts! Hahaha.
'Not in a good mood right now but, I'm feeling like this cos of my own stupid fault.
Will add more stuff when i feel better. Not in a good state of mind now'.
The 2nd and 3rd paragraphs were a draft i made yesterday. Was a bit down due to some reason......but i feel a whole better today.
I am going to..... wt a special somebody today. Don't start making insinuations just becos i didn't say what I'm going to do. But it's not what u guys think. It's purely innocent but it's what gives me happiness(at least at the moment). Hope it lasts! Hahaha.
Thursday, April 26, 2007
Some Mistakes Women Make With Men.
Tons of women do this one thing. And it must leave them feeling awful... I wonder if you do it too? I'm talking about women who hide their true feelings from a man and fear sharing their desire for a closer relationship and for love. Ever felt this way? I have. I don't tell a guy how i feel about him until he tells me how he feels about me.
It happens when you won't communicate directly with Ur man about your feelings because you think you'll "scare him away". Unfortunately, you're right... it could scare him away.
Women communicate their feelings with Men in all sorts of different ways; from Joy to Anger to Frustration and the way these feelings are communicated affect the relationship. I can attest to that.
There's a pattern to dating experiences that I'd like to share, I'm not saying I'm an expert. Lol.
Sometimes when a man and a woman meet and develop feelings for each other, the woman tends to hide her feelings and want to play it cool, then it gets worse when they have bn together for a long time and he's never talked about 'the future' or Marriage.
In some cases,the woman is patient and remains silent, but as time goes on and years pass them by.She realises she isn't getting younger and the relationship isn't going anywhere.
At first,if she loves the guy,she keeps quiet cos she doesn't want to ruin the relationship, especially if the guy has talked to her about all the bad experiences he's had wt women in the past. And perhaps sometimes has even made negative remarks about women and their emotions.
She keeps quiet cos doesn't want to ruin the good thing they have but she wants to deal with the negative emotions that are slowly but surely building in her mind.
If he's a guy who doesn't want anything permanent, he begins to use his past issues to tell her that he's not looking for much more than they have at the moment.
So she doesn't say anything to her Man directly to communicate what's going on wt her feelings.And of course, being an average guy, he wont say anything either.
She becomes frustrated and confused that her man isn't acting the way he used to act....
Things begin to change with the way he treats her. He doesn't pay as much attention to her anymore.
..No more surprises or gifts or flowers (like they do abroad),give an average Nigerian girl a bunch of flowers and she will throw them at Ur face! Lol. ..He's tired everyday after work and just wants to watch TV when he gets home.
..He calls less frequently,doesn't initiate sex as much anymore,etc.
This sometimes makes a woman even think that her man could be seeing someone else. And then to cap it all he becomes more distant.
What happens next?.. She decides she ain't happy with the situation of things and it's time to have a 'talk'.
BIGGEST MISTAKE YOU CAN MAKE WITH A MAN... You start a conversation about the relationship and then you "let him have it"!(you get upset and lose your cool with him ) All your desires, fears, frustrations and dreams that you've been holding inside and keeping away,all pour out in one big emotional explosion...
This "Big Mistake" can take the form of arguing and yelling/shouting, but not exclusively. Sometimes it's just extreme intensity, perhaps tears. It might include you(as a woman),
-Complaining about the current state of the relationship...
-Talking about the things he does wrong with you....
-Showing your frustrations about what you feel is missing...
-Bringing up past issues, arguments or disappointments.
But it always creates a lot of emotional tension and unnecessary "drama",especially in the guys mind.
This is THE LAST THING you want to do with a man if you want to get some POSITIVE results
That tension that's created stays with him. Sometimes, Men don't forget it.
In his mind, he now thinks of you as "hysterical" and full of issues.
His mind defines you by what he saw in your behavior, and it scares him.(Not in all cases though).
Sometimes this kind of behavior makes a man feel stressed,then he ends the relationship.
I've heard some of my male friends(married and single) talk about this exact perception of women, how they fear being with a woman who they think will act this way with them on a regular basis.
In fact, this fear is so great in most men,and they want to avoid being around this kind of thing with a woman, that when they see it even once... that's it. It's very immature,selfish and not fair on one level, but it's the reality of the situation that lots of women end up in with men.
So how do women avoid this if we still want to express our FEELINGS to Men?
Women need to understand Men Just Like Men Need To Understand Women...
Any suggestions guys?
It happens when you won't communicate directly with Ur man about your feelings because you think you'll "scare him away". Unfortunately, you're right... it could scare him away.
Women communicate their feelings with Men in all sorts of different ways; from Joy to Anger to Frustration and the way these feelings are communicated affect the relationship. I can attest to that.
There's a pattern to dating experiences that I'd like to share, I'm not saying I'm an expert. Lol.
Sometimes when a man and a woman meet and develop feelings for each other, the woman tends to hide her feelings and want to play it cool, then it gets worse when they have bn together for a long time and he's never talked about 'the future' or Marriage.
In some cases,the woman is patient and remains silent, but as time goes on and years pass them by.She realises she isn't getting younger and the relationship isn't going anywhere.
At first,if she loves the guy,she keeps quiet cos she doesn't want to ruin the relationship, especially if the guy has talked to her about all the bad experiences he's had wt women in the past. And perhaps sometimes has even made negative remarks about women and their emotions.
She keeps quiet cos doesn't want to ruin the good thing they have but she wants to deal with the negative emotions that are slowly but surely building in her mind.
If he's a guy who doesn't want anything permanent, he begins to use his past issues to tell her that he's not looking for much more than they have at the moment.
So she doesn't say anything to her Man directly to communicate what's going on wt her feelings.And of course, being an average guy, he wont say anything either.
She becomes frustrated and confused that her man isn't acting the way he used to act....
Things begin to change with the way he treats her. He doesn't pay as much attention to her anymore.
..No more surprises or gifts or flowers (like they do abroad),give an average Nigerian girl a bunch of flowers and she will throw them at Ur face! Lol. ..He's tired everyday after work and just wants to watch TV when he gets home.
..He calls less frequently,doesn't initiate sex as much anymore,etc.
This sometimes makes a woman even think that her man could be seeing someone else. And then to cap it all he becomes more distant.
What happens next?.. She decides she ain't happy with the situation of things and it's time to have a 'talk'.
BIGGEST MISTAKE YOU CAN MAKE WITH A MAN... You start a conversation about the relationship and then you "let him have it"!(you get upset and lose your cool with him ) All your desires, fears, frustrations and dreams that you've been holding inside and keeping away,all pour out in one big emotional explosion...
This "Big Mistake" can take the form of arguing and yelling/shouting, but not exclusively. Sometimes it's just extreme intensity, perhaps tears. It might include you(as a woman),
-Complaining about the current state of the relationship...
-Talking about the things he does wrong with you....
-Showing your frustrations about what you feel is missing...
-Bringing up past issues, arguments or disappointments.
But it always creates a lot of emotional tension and unnecessary "drama",especially in the guys mind.
This is THE LAST THING you want to do with a man if you want to get some POSITIVE results
That tension that's created stays with him. Sometimes, Men don't forget it.
In his mind, he now thinks of you as "hysterical" and full of issues.
His mind defines you by what he saw in your behavior, and it scares him.(Not in all cases though).
Sometimes this kind of behavior makes a man feel stressed,then he ends the relationship.
I've heard some of my male friends(married and single) talk about this exact perception of women, how they fear being with a woman who they think will act this way with them on a regular basis.
In fact, this fear is so great in most men,and they want to avoid being around this kind of thing with a woman, that when they see it even once... that's it. It's very immature,selfish and not fair on one level, but it's the reality of the situation that lots of women end up in with men.
So how do women avoid this if we still want to express our FEELINGS to Men?
Women need to understand Men Just Like Men Need To Understand Women...
Any suggestions guys?
Stupid Questions, Brilliant Answers!
Questions about South Africa were posted on a South African Tourism Website and were answered by the website owner.
Q: Does it ever get windy in South Africa? I have never seen it rain on TV, so how do the plants grow? (UK)
A: We import all plants fully grown and then just sit around watching them die.
Q: Will I be able to see elephants in the street? (USA)
A: Depends how much you've been drinking or sniffing.
Q: I want to walk from Durban to Cape Town - can I follow the railroad tracks? (Sweden)
A: Sure, it's only two thousand kilometres. Take lots of water.
Q: Is it safe to run around in the bushes in South Africa? (Sweden)
A: So it's true what they say about Swedes.
Q: Are there any ATMs (cash machines) in South Africa? Can you send me a list of them in JHB, Cape Town, Knysna and Jeffrey's Bay? (UK)
A: What did your last slave die of?
Q: Can you give me some information about Koala Bear racing in South Africa? (USA)
A: Aus-tra-lia is that big island in the middle of the Pacific. A-fri-ca is the big triangle shaped continent south of Europe which does not... oh forget it. Sure, the Koala Bear racing is every Tuesday night in Hillbrow. Come naked.
Q: Which direction is north in South Africa? (USA)
A: Face south and then turn 90 degrees. Contact us when you get there and we'll send the rest of the directions.
Q: Can I bring cutlery into South Africa? (UK)
A: Why? Just use your fingers like we do.
Q: Can you send me the Vienna Boys' Choir schedule? (USA)
A: Aus-tri-a is that quaint little country bordering Ger-man-y, which is. oh forget it. Sure, the Vienna Boys Choir plays every Tuesday night in Hillbrow, straight after the Koala Bear races. Come naked.
Q: Do you have perfume in South Africa? (France)
A: No, WE don't stink.
Q: I have developed a new product that is the fountain of youth. Can you tell me where I can sell it in South Africa? (USA)
A: Anywhere significant numbers of Americans gather.
Q: Can you tell me the regions in South Africa where the female population is smaller than the male population? (Italy)
A: Yes, gay nightclubs.
Q: Do you celebrate Christmas in South Africa? (France)
A: Only at Christmas.
Are there killer bees in South Africa? (Germany)
A: Not yet, but for you, we'll import them.
Q: Are there supermarkets in Cape Town and is milk available all year round? (Germany)
A: No, we are a peaceful civilisation of vegan hunter-gatherers. Milk is illegal
Q: Please send a list of all doctors in South Africa who can dispense rattlesnake serum. (USA)
A: Rattlesnakes live in A-meri-ca, which is where YOU come from. All South African snakes are perfectly harmless, can be safely handled and make good pets. Good examples of snakes as pets are mambas (both green and black), rinkhals and municipal workers.
Q: I was in South Africa in 1969, and I want to contact the girl I dated while I was staying in Hillbrow. Can you help? (USA)
A: Yes, and you will still have to pay her by the hour.
Q: Will I be able to speek English most places I go? (USA)
A: Yes, but you'll have to learn it first.
Q: Does it ever get windy in South Africa? I have never seen it rain on TV, so how do the plants grow? (UK)
A: We import all plants fully grown and then just sit around watching them die.
Q: Will I be able to see elephants in the street? (USA)
A: Depends how much you've been drinking or sniffing.
Q: I want to walk from Durban to Cape Town - can I follow the railroad tracks? (Sweden)
A: Sure, it's only two thousand kilometres. Take lots of water.
Q: Is it safe to run around in the bushes in South Africa? (Sweden)
A: So it's true what they say about Swedes.
Q: Are there any ATMs (cash machines) in South Africa? Can you send me a list of them in JHB, Cape Town, Knysna and Jeffrey's Bay? (UK)
A: What did your last slave die of?
Q: Can you give me some information about Koala Bear racing in South Africa? (USA)
A: Aus-tra-lia is that big island in the middle of the Pacific. A-fri-ca is the big triangle shaped continent south of Europe which does not... oh forget it. Sure, the Koala Bear racing is every Tuesday night in Hillbrow. Come naked.
Q: Which direction is north in South Africa? (USA)
A: Face south and then turn 90 degrees. Contact us when you get there and we'll send the rest of the directions.
Q: Can I bring cutlery into South Africa? (UK)
A: Why? Just use your fingers like we do.
Q: Can you send me the Vienna Boys' Choir schedule? (USA)
A: Aus-tri-a is that quaint little country bordering Ger-man-y, which is. oh forget it. Sure, the Vienna Boys Choir plays every Tuesday night in Hillbrow, straight after the Koala Bear races. Come naked.
Q: Do you have perfume in South Africa? (France)
A: No, WE don't stink.
Q: I have developed a new product that is the fountain of youth. Can you tell me where I can sell it in South Africa? (USA)
A: Anywhere significant numbers of Americans gather.
Q: Can you tell me the regions in South Africa where the female population is smaller than the male population? (Italy)
A: Yes, gay nightclubs.
Q: Do you celebrate Christmas in South Africa? (France)
A: Only at Christmas.
Are there killer bees in South Africa? (Germany)
A: Not yet, but for you, we'll import them.
Q: Are there supermarkets in Cape Town and is milk available all year round? (Germany)
A: No, we are a peaceful civilisation of vegan hunter-gatherers. Milk is illegal
Q: Please send a list of all doctors in South Africa who can dispense rattlesnake serum. (USA)
A: Rattlesnakes live in A-meri-ca, which is where YOU come from. All South African snakes are perfectly harmless, can be safely handled and make good pets. Good examples of snakes as pets are mambas (both green and black), rinkhals and municipal workers.
Q: I was in South Africa in 1969, and I want to contact the girl I dated while I was staying in Hillbrow. Can you help? (USA)
A: Yes, and you will still have to pay her by the hour.
Q: Will I be able to speek English most places I go? (USA)
A: Yes, but you'll have to learn it first.
Wednesday, April 25, 2007
WHEN MAMA WAS A ROLLING STONE...
'Mama' on the beach in her bikini
Is she looking hot or hot?
Kosi Arugbo n'Ghana.
Who says she shouldn't have fun cos she is old?
DO U COOK WITH BACON GREASE? WARNING..
Some people were raised on bacon grease (lard) and fried bread as kids and even into adulthood. But please never use it again. I hope you will throw yours away whenever you fry bacon from now on.
It seems as though nothing is safe to eat anymore.
This is what happens when you keep cooking with bacon grease. This could happen to you
It's true... Bacon grease makes your FEET small!!
It seems as though nothing is safe to eat anymore.
This is what happens when you keep cooking with bacon grease. This could happen to you
It's true... Bacon grease makes your FEET small!! New Earth Discovery.
An artistic illustration released by the European Southern Observatory shows the new planet known as Gliese 581 c (L) orbiting a red dwarf star, April 25, 2007.
European astronomers have spotted what they say is the most Earth-like planet yet outside our solar system, with balmy temperatures that could support water and, potentially, life.
European astronomers have spotted what they say is the most Earth-like planet yet outside our solar system, with balmy temperatures that could support water and, potentially, life.They have not directly seen the planet, orbiting a red dwarf star called Gliese 581. But measurements of the star suggest that a planet not much larger than the Earth is pulling on it, the researchers say in a letter to the editor of the journal Astronomy and Astrophysics.
"This one is the first one that is at the same time probably rocky, with water, and in a zone close to the star where the water could exist in liquid form," said Stephane Udry of the Geneva Observatory in Switzerland, who led the study.
"We have estimated that the mean temperature of this super-Earth lies between 0 and 40 degrees Celsius (32 to 104 degrees F), and water would thus be liquid."
Most of the 200 or so planets that have been spotted outside this solar system have been gas giants like Jupiter. But this one is small.
"Its radius should be only 1.5 times the Earth's radius, and models predict that the planet should be either rocky, like our Earth, or covered with oceans," Udry said in a telephone interview.
"This one is the first one that is at the same time probably rocky, with water, and in a zone close to the star where the water could exist in liquid form," said Stephane Udry of the Geneva Observatory in Switzerland, who led the study.
"We have estimated that the mean temperature of this super-Earth lies between 0 and 40 degrees Celsius (32 to 104 degrees F), and water would thus be liquid."
Most of the 200 or so planets that have been spotted outside this solar system have been gas giants like Jupiter. But this one is small.
"Its radius should be only 1.5 times the Earth's radius, and models predict that the planet should be either rocky, like our Earth, or covered with oceans," Udry said in a telephone interview.
It appears to have a mass five times that of Earth's.
The research team includes scientists credited with the first widely accepted discovery of a planet outside our solar system, in 1995.
Many teams are looking for planets circling other stars. They are especially looking for those similar to our own, planets that could support life.
That means finding water.
Tuesday, April 24, 2007
My Friend's Favorite Words.
Fuck me if I am wrong, but you want to screw me, don't you?
Hey, baby, wanna lock crotches and swap gravy?
Hi, wanna fuck? (No!) Mind lying down while I do?
Let's go get liquored up and rape each other..
Roses are Red, Violets are Blue, I like Spaghetti, Let's go fuck!
I'm conducting a survey on the taste of vaginas. Wanna be my first participant?
You WILL go home with me tonight....
Life is short. Let's fuck and see if there is anything after that.
Hi. I think your friend is really hot. Do you have a ride home or is it just going to be the three of us?
My mate asked a girl for the last Dance, No! she said where he replied "a Fuck is out of the question then?"
Mr G. Favorite words.
Hey, baby, wanna lock crotches and swap gravy?
Hi, wanna fuck? (No!) Mind lying down while I do?
Let's go get liquored up and rape each other..
Roses are Red, Violets are Blue, I like Spaghetti, Let's go fuck!
I'm conducting a survey on the taste of vaginas. Wanna be my first participant?
You WILL go home with me tonight....
Life is short. Let's fuck and see if there is anything after that.
Hi. I think your friend is really hot. Do you have a ride home or is it just going to be the three of us?
My mate asked a girl for the last Dance, No! she said where he replied "a Fuck is out of the question then?"
Mr G. Favorite words.
Nigeria's Next Top Model Competition.
The 15 contestants.
Now there's a version of Next top Model competition by Nigerians. Lol. Why not? The competition will be held in London not in Nigeria. Doesn't matter where it takes place as long as it's by Nigerians for Nigerians.
Now there's a version of Next top Model competition by Nigerians. Lol. Why not? The competition will be held in London not in Nigeria. Doesn't matter where it takes place as long as it's by Nigerians for Nigerians.
AFRICA MOVIE ACADEMY AWARDS (AMAA)
Olu Jacobs and Monique
Chioma Chukwuka
The African Movie Academy Awards (AMAA) was held on the 17th March 2007,in Bayelsa State. Hollywood stars Cuba Gooding Jr and Mo'nique, from Miss Parkers were present at the Awards.
These are the winners of the recently staged third edition of the AMAA.
Best Nigerian Film: Sitanda
Best Cinematography: Amazing Grace
Best Indigenous Film: Irapada (A Yoruba movie)
Best Documentary Feature: Conversations on a Sunday afternoon (South Africa)
Best Achievement in Costume: Apesin (A Yoruba film)
Best Visual Effect: Snake Girl
Best Performance by a Child: Samuel Olaseinde (Abeni)
Best Editing: Mokili (Burkina Faso)
Best Original Sound track: Iwalewa (Yoruba movie)
Best Sound: Abeni (Yoruba movie)
Original Screen play: Sitanda
Achievement in Make-up: Azima
Best Upcoming Artiste: Ali Nuhu in 'Sitanda'
Best Actor in Support Role: Bruno Iwuoha
Best Actress in Support Role: Jackie Agyemani in 'The President's Daughter'.
Best Actress in a Lead Role: Chioma Chukwuka in 'Sins of the Flesh'.
Best Actor in a Lead Role: Olu Jacobs in 'Dancing Heart'.
Best Director:Izu Chukwu in 'Sitanda'.
Omotola Jolade Ekeinde
Hey Dijana, i know none of ur favorite movies are here,i dont even know any of the movies that won but these are the results.
Monday, April 23, 2007
Umaru Musa Yar'Adua.The New Elected Nigerian President.
The winner of the Presidential Election has emerged.
The New President of the country is Umaru Musa Yar'Adua who had 24million votes. His Vice is Jonathan Goodluck.
The New President of the country is Umaru Musa Yar'Adua who had 24million votes. His Vice is Jonathan Goodluck.
Umaru Musa Yar'Adua
Jonathan Goodluck
They will be sworn in on the 29th of May,2007.
I hope things change in this country cos the soon-to-be President has helped clear the country's debts, brought investments into the country and has bn able to put 46billion dollars in our reserve.
Good luck to them!
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