Barack Obama US President elect

Barack Hussein Obama, United States President elect. Just two days after Lewis Hamilton won his first Championship!!!! Amazing!!! Wonders shall never end.

I never knew how the election was gonna go. I kept an open mind.

I didn't think Americans would let a Black man rule them. However, looking at his opponent, McCain, he was too old, 72 and didn't look like a good candidate to run the country (my opinion). His choice of Vice president - Sarah Palin, then compounded his whole race.

So, I was kinda optimistic but open minded as well, because I did not want to be too disappointed if it didn't happen. My colleagues at work were going to bet on who was going to win.

One of them even went as far as wanting to bet with his laptop that Obama was not going to win, but I stopped him, telling him he was not an American, hence, couldn't vouch for who the Americans would vote for. I said "only he who wears the shoe knows wear it pinches". He took my advice. Thank God he did, else, he would have lost his PC. lol. Up until the last moment, I never was sure who would win the election.

I knew Barack was leading in the opinion polls, but still was not sure what the election outcome was going to be, until I heard a loud shout in the wee hours of the morning, from my living room. I panicked and ran to the living room only to find my siblings rejoicing over Obama's victory.

I am happy for Americans, I am happy for the fact that they want CHANGE. They have used one side of the coin for a long time and are ready for the other side of the coin.

Now, America 'player-haters' may regard Americans with more respect than they were accorded in the past.

On the other hand, I am almost sure this can NEVER happen in any part of Europe, lol. (Just stating a fact).

I still can not believe he did it!!!! If this can happen, then nothing is IMPOSSIBLE for anyone, as long as they are hard working and determined to achieve what they want. Perseverance goes a long way to achieve what you want!

No more excuses y'all! lol.

Electoral votes: The winner only needed 270 votes.

Obama had 364 votes while McCain had 162 votes.

Popular votes result:

Obama had 65,293,083 votes while McCain had 57,325,487 votes. See the difference??

What an ass whooping result! Hahaha.

These pictures were taken on election day! U can check out more of these pics on flickr.

Congratulations Mr President elect!!!

Lewis Hamilton,wins F1 World Champion

Lewis Hamilton is the world's youngest Formula 1 Champion ever! He only needed to come fifth or above in today's race in Brazil and he did it!! Felipe Massa was first by about 20seconds, Fernando Alonso was behind him followed by Kimi Raikkonen.

I was so tense when the race got to only 2 laps to go and Lewis was 5th, then 6th, behind Glock. I was like, 'please don't ruin ur chance man!' I was jumping up and down the couch urging Hamilton on (as if i could lift him up and make him fly past others, lol), then by a stroke of luck, Glock slowed down and Hamilton drove past him. And i was....thank God, Hamilton , this is ur chance..... and he did it!!! He came fifth!!! He was only 1 point ahead of Massa! Hamilton was...I think 98, while Massa was 97.
Massa won today's race, but he was so down cast. Massa's team were celebrating after he had crossed the line (cos Hamilton was in the 6th position after Massa had already won) but alas! Hamilton drove past Glock and won it!!!

I am sorry but I couldn't help but laugh when I saw the look Massa's team's faces when Hamilton drove past Glock. When he won, my happiness knew no bound cos he deserved to win.

What with what all the 'head ache' he had with ex-team mate, Fernando Alonso, before Alonso moved to Renault.
The incident with Ferrari: when a Ferrari driver pushed him off track during one of their previous races. He lost points because of that swerve, he appealed for Ferrari to be penalised but his appeal went unheeded.
I remember during one of their previous races, he avoided being hit by one of the drivers during a grand prix (can't remember which one now) and had to drive across the grass. He won the race but he was penalised for cutting corners, he lost some points and was pushed down to either 3rd or 4th. So, when the Ferrari incident happened, I was pissed when his appeal was brushed off.

Anyways, what matters now is that he has won the championship!!! He is the youngest man to ever win a F1 Championship and the 1st Black man (Ok, his mum is white and his dad white, but we are claiming him, lol)to ever win it!!! Congratulations man!

Oh i forgot, Nicole Schwaregegddkfkfv ...(Pussy cat doll lead singer)lol was there.
I didn't even know they were dating. I was like, "what is pussy cat doll doing there?" My sister said she was dating a car racer, and I said 'there's no f**king way it could be Lewis, she is a lot older than him", then i saw his brother in front of her and i was like...'what???',lol. Imagine Nicole and Lewis, lol, like I always say 'Money talks, bullshit walks!'
Anyways, back to my gist. She was very calm but kinda 'on edge' when the race was on, but as soon as Lewis won, she was so exhilarated! She stood directly behind Nicholas, Lewis' brother, and kept touching Lewis when he was kissing his brother. He didn't touch her, only acknowledged her presence by looking at her as he walked away.
He moved inside the pit (or whatever they call that room) and was hugging and kissing his dad, Nicole schwahdufjjlfjf, lol, (sorry, her name is too difficult to spell, lol) was there again, hugging him, he moved away from her and went celebrating with his team members, she walked to his dad and kissed and hugged him. My sister and I kept thinking....'why the fuck is she making a mess of herself?',lol. I thought she was a star, haha, no one recognised her there. She looked pretty, but all her make up was gone, she was like a star struck fan of Lewis'.

Hamilton moved away from the crowd, she kinda tried to follow him, but the crowd swallowed him up, lol. He moved to a private room where he was with his dad and some other team members, lol. We couldn't stop laughing at her nonsensity! (to borrow Chief Zebrudaya's English) hahaha. Very embarrassing! Lol.

13 year old Somali girl killed for saying she was raped

have I saw this scroll past on the news (as breaking news this afternoon) but the report wasn't given in detail, so i went online to search for the full detail.

Read the gory info:

A 13-year-old girl who said she had been raped was stoned to death in Somalia after being accused of adultery by Islamic militants, a human rights group said.

Dozens of men stoned Aisha Ibrahim Duhulow to death Oct. 27 in a stadium packed with 1,000 spectators in the southern port city of Kismayo, Amnesty International and Somali media reported, citing witnesses. The Islamic militia in charge of Kismayo had accused her of adultery after she reported that three men had raped her, the rights group said.

Initial local media reports said Duhulow was 23, but her father told Amnesty International she was 13. Some of the Somali journalists who first reported the killing later told Amnesty International that they had reported she was 23 based upon her physical appearance.

Can anyone f**king believe this??? A 13 year old girl was raped by THREE MEN, rather than jail them for the abomination they committed they stoned the poor child to death for speaking out!!!!

This child suffered a horrible death for just being a girl in a fucked up society!!!! Geeeee men!!!

WTF??? W hat the f**k is wrong with these people??? I am soooooooooooooooooo f**king pissed right now that i am not gonna write anything further to avoid shit! Is there any justice in this f**ked up world??? I am soooooo angry. If I were ....

Again WTF????

Safe sex

I saw this advert and couldn't help but laugh. I laughed so hard there were tears in my eyes and my tummy hurt. I enjoyed it so much that i decided to share it! Hahahahaha.


No offense meant but, i think this is very funny. A'riya riya...somebody stop me!!! Hahaha.

LATERAL THINKING PROWESS

CHECK YOUR LATERAL THINKING. THE FIRST 4 ARE THE QUESTIONS AND THE LAST 4 ARE THE ANSWERS

DO NOT LOOK AT THE ANSWERS FIRST !!!!!

THESE ARE REALLY GOOD !!!! TRY IT OUT

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Funnies

Hahaha, they are all urs man, stop playing around. Hahaha

Haha.

Another one that i like. Hahaha. I am sure some men feel like this sometimes.haha

This is another goldie!! Loves it! hahaha

Hahaha, e dey go pack shit! Hahaha.

Sure! Ride on ride on!

I love this one, chasis!!.. my favorite! Hahaha...This woman is in big trouble. Loves it!!!

This is an all timer!! Hahaha

Loves it! Hahahaha.

Sheep shagging bastard!!! Hahaha.

Alarm don blow!

U need to enlarge this one to be able to read it.




Hahaha, poor guy. I am sure he would have preferred.....hahaha

Jokes

A man is driving down a deserted stretch of highway when he notices a sign out of the corner of his eye... It reads:

SISTERS OF ST. FRANCIS

HOUSE OF PROSTITUTION
10 MILES

He thinks this is a figment of his imagination and drives on without second thought.... Soon he sees another sign which reads:

SISTERS OF ST. FRANCIS

HOUSE OF PROSTITUTION

5 MILES

Suddenly he begins to realize that these signs are for real and drives past a third sign saying:

SISTERS OF ST. FRANCIS

HOUSE OF PROSTITUTION

NEXT RIGHT

His curiosity gets the best of him and he pulls into the drive. On the far side of the parking lot is a stone building with a small sign next to the door reading:

SISTERS OF ST. FRANCIS

He climbs the steps and rings the bell. The door is answered by a nun in a long black habit who asks,
'What may we do for you ! my son? '

He answers, 'I saw your signs along the highway and was interested in possibly doing business....'

'Very well my son. Please follow me.' He is led through many winding passages and is soon quite disoriented. The nun stops at a closed door and tells the man, 'Please knock on this door.'

He does so and another nun in a long habit, holding a tin cup answers the door... This nun instructs, 'Please place $100 in the cup then go through the large wooden door at the end of the hallway.'

He puts $100 in the cup, eagerly trots down the hall and slips through the door pulling it shut behind him.

The door locks, and he finds himself back in the parking lot facing another sign:

GO IN PEACE. YOU HAVE JUST BEEN SCREWED BY THE SISTERS OF ST. FRANCIS. SERVES YOU RIGHT, YOU SINNER!

Pharmaceutical Advertising

I'm sure that you have seen pharmaceutical advertising in doctor's offices on everything from tissues to exam table, cover paper etc.

This one should win an award...

Naija proverbs

He who lives in a glass house....... Na im pepe rest.

A stitch in time........ dey prevent further tear tear.

Birds of the same feather...na the same mama born dem.

One good turn......... na correct power steering be that.

A bird in hand........ wetin e wan be again if no be barbeque.

Half bread.......... is better than buns.

Journey of a thousand miles....... Ol'boy carry your car go o.

He who laughs last........ na big time mumu be dat. Why im no catch the joke at the first time and laugh when others dey laugh?

The patient dog........ Waalahi, Na hunger go kill am.

All work and no play.......Na banker be dat.

All play and no work...... Abeg na real life be dat. afterall u no see as u dey happy wen u know say dem go declare plenty holiday soon.

The guy that made this up is a comic genius abeg! I don laff tire, hahahahahahahahah.

jokes

FIRST-grade teacher was having trouble with one of her students
The teacher asked, "Harry what is your problem?" Harry answered,
"I'm too smart for the first-grade. My sister is in the third-grade and I'm smarter than
she is! I think I should be in the third-grade too!"
The teacher had enough. She took Harry to the principal's office. While Harry waited
in the outer office, the teacher explained to the principal what the
situation was. The principal told the teacher he would give the boy
a test and if he failed to answer any of his questions he was to go
back to the first-grade and behave. The teacher agreed. Harry was brought in and the
conditions were explained to him and he agreed to take the test.

Principal: "What is 3 x 3?"
Harry: "9"

Principal: "What is 6 x 6?"
Harry: "36"

And so it went with every question the principal thought a
third-grade should know. The principal looks at the teacher and
tells her, "I think Harry can go to the third-grade." The teacher
says to the principal, "Let me ask him some questions?" The
principal and Harry both agree.

Teacher: "What does a cow have four of that I have only two of?
Harry: "Legs"

Teacher: "What is in your pants that you have but I do not have?"
(The principal wondered, why does she ask such a question!)
Harry: "Pockets"

Teacher: "What does a dog do that a man steps into?"
Harry: "Pants"

Teacher: What's starts with a C and ends with a T, is hairy, oval,
delicious and contains thin whitish liquid?" (The principal's eyes
open really wide and before he could stop the answer...)
Harry: "Coconut"

Teacher: "What goes in hard and pink then comes out soft and
sticky?"
Harry: "Bubblegum"

Teacher: "What does a man do standing up, a woman do sitting down
and a dog do on three legs?" (The principal's eyes open really wide
and before he could stop the answer...)
Harry: "Shake hands"

Teach! er: "Now I will ask some "Who am I" sort of questions, okay?"
Harry: "Yup"

Teacher: "You stick your poles inside me. You tie me down to get me
up. I get wet before you do"
Harry: "Tent"

Teacher: "A finger goes in me. You fiddle with me when you're bored.
The best man always has me first" (Principal was looking restless
and bit tense)
Harry: "Wedding Ring"

Teacher: "I come in many sizes. When I'm not well, I drip. When you
blow me, you feel good"
Harry: "Nose"

Teacher: "I have a stiff shaft. My tip penetrates. I come with a
quiver"
Harry: "Arrow"

Teacher: "What word starts with an 'F' and ends in 'K' that means a
lot of excitement?"
Harry: "Fire Truck"

The principal breathed a sigh of relief and told the teacher, "Put
his ass in the fifth-grade, I got the last ten questions wrong
myself."
Smart boy eh!!! Lol.
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Shipwrecked

There was a cruise ship going through some rough waters that ended up sinking just off the coast of a small deserted island....

There where only 3 survivors: 2 guys and a girl....

They lived there for a couple of years doing what was natural for men and women to do.......

After several years of casual sex all the time, the girl felt really bad about what she had been doing.......

She felt having sex with both guys was so bad that she killed herself......

It was very tragic, but the two guys managed to get through it, and after a while nature once more took it's inevitable course.........

Well, a couple more years went by and the guys began to feel absolutely horrible about what they were doing........

So..........

They buried her.
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Dispute between neighbors - true story.

A city council man in Utah , Mark Easton, had a beautiful view of the east mountains, until a new neighbor purchased the lot below his house and built a new home. The new home was 18 inches higher than the ordinances would allow, so Mark Easton, mad about his lost view,went to the city to make sure they enforced the lower roof line ordinance. The new neighbor had to drop the roof line, at great expense.
Recently, Mark Easton called the city, and informed them that his new neighbor had installed some vents on the side of his home. Mark didn't like the look of these vents and asked the city to investigate. When they went to Mark's home to see the vent view , this is what they found...

Marion Jones has been released from Jail

SAN ANTONIO (AP)—Disgraced sprinter Marion Jones was released Friday from federal prison after completing most of her six-month sentence for lying about her steroid use.

Jones left a halfway house in San Antonio around 8 a.m., said LaTanya Robinson, a community corrections manager for the federal Bureau of Prisons. Jones, who has a house in Austin, will remain on probation.

Jones’ attorney did not immediately respond to a call or e-mail from The Associated Press requesting comment.

The sprinter admitted last October that she used a designer steroid known as “the clear” from September 2000 to July 2001. The drug was linked to the Bay Area Laboratory Co-Operative, the lab that became the center of a steroids scandal that touched numerous professional athletes, including baseball star Barry Bonds.
Her admission of drug use in 2007 came after years of denials.

In 2004, she sued the founder of BALCO for defamation after he said she used steroids. The lawsuit was settled the following year, long before she told the truth in a federal courtroom.
Jones gave back the three gold medals and two bronze medals she won at the 2000 Olympics in Sydney before the International Olympic Committee officially wiped her name from the record books in December.

Welcome back!!!

MAN TEST

If you are over forty, and you have a washboard stomach, you are a queer . It means you haven't sucked back enough beer with the boys and have spent the rest of your free time doing sit-ups, aerobics, and doing the Oprah diet... Nancy-pants.

If you have a cat, you are a Flaaaaming homo. A cat is like a dog, but queer -- it grooms itself constantly but never scratches itself, has a delicate touch except when it uses its nails, and whines to be fed. And just think about how you call a dog... 'Killer, come here! I said get your ass over here, Killer!' Now think about how you call a cat...'Bun-bun, come to daddy, snookums!' Jeeezus, you're fit to be framed, you're so queer.

If you suck on lollipops, Ring-Pops, baby pacifiers, or any such nonsense, rest assured, you are a Gaylord . A straight man only sucks on BBQ ribs, crab claws, raw oysters, crawfish guts, pickled pigs feet, or tits. Anything else and you are a Homo in training and undeniably a fag .

If you refuse to take a dump in a public bathroom or piss in a parking lot, you crave a deep homosexual relationship. A man's world is his bathroom; he defecates and urinates where he pleases.

If you drink anything other than regular coffee, you're as queer as a $3 bill. A straight man will never be heard ordering a 'Decaf Soy Latte'. If you've put a Decaf Soy Latte to your lips, you've had a man there, too.

If you know more than six names of non-standard colors or four different types of dessert other than ice cream and pie, you might as well be handing out free ass passes. A real man doesn't have memory space in his brain to remember all of that crap. If you can pick out chartreuse or you know what a 'fressier' is you're gay. And if you can name ANY type of textile other than cotton or denim, you are faggadocious.

If you drive with both hands on the wheel, forget it, you're dying to tune a meat whistle. A man only puts both hands on the wheel to honk at a slow-ass driver or to cut the jerk off. The rest of the time he needs that hand to change the radio station, eat a hamburger, or hold his beer.

Scam victims are as guilty as scammers

"People who fall for so-called " Nigerian scams" aren't victims at all—in fact, they're greedy and should be jailed, according to Nigerian high commissioner Sunday Olu Agbi. This is something i have always said, and i TOTALLY agree with him. He said on Friday, 22nd, August, that Nigeria has gained a bad reputation because of the scams perpetrated by a minuscule number of people, and that those who find themselves involved with the scams are equally as guilty as those running them.
"The Nigerian Government frowns very seriously on these scams... and every day tries to track down those who are involved," Olu Agbi told the Sydney Morning Herald in response to a previous article on Australians falling for Nigerian scams. "People who send their money are as guilty as those who are asking them to send the money."

Out of the 140 million people in Nigeria, Olu Agbi said that fewer than 0.1 percent were involved in Nigerian scams. The scams, also referred to as 419 scams or advance-fee fraud, predate the Internet, but have exploded in recent years thanks to the proliferation of e-mail and instant money transfers. Although the scams can take on many forms—from payments for products sold on eBay or Craigslist, to deposits on houses and purchases of plane tickets for "true love" on the other side of the ocean—they all follow the same general theme.

Scammers send huge checks to unsuspecting victims with some story attached to explain the overpayment, and the victim is expected to wire back the difference immediately. Eventually when the checks are deposited, they bounce and the victim is out a lot of money. Sometimes, victims are tricked into thinking they'll eventually be paid back and continue to participate in this endless cycle of sending money, especially if the scammer is wooing them romantically (which happens more commonly than one might think, to both men and women).

Although this kind of fraud originates from all over the world, it seems to have an unusually high concentration in Africa and, specifically, Nigeria. This has, unsurprisingly, cast Nigeria in a negative light. Olu Agbi said that Nigeria's reputation for being involved with the scams has even hurt the country's ability to land business deals. "Those who want to transact business with us are always very suspicious," he told the newspaper.
Nigerians are not trusted anywhere because of a very little percentage of people who are not straight forward.

I am sorry, but any fool who believes he can spend $1000 and gain $1000000 just by sitting on his ass is as stupid as a dumb fuck and deserves it if he gets scammed!

I was in a cyber cafe sometime last year and i saw a guy with pictures of puppies on his screen,i asked him why the puppies were there and he said they were for sale. I laughed and asked him if he thought any Nigerian would buy puppies online, knowing we ain't animal lovers. He equally laughed and told me he was advertising the puppies to foreigners, Americans to be precise, not Nigerians. He said the puppies on his screen actually cost between $800-$1000 each, but he advertsied them for $300. He also said he didn't have the puppies he advertised but pretended he did. And because they were $300, he always got stupid/greedy people who were willing to pay him for the so called 'puppies'. Let's be sincere to ourselves, why would anyone think a healthy puppy which cost between $800-$1000 would be sold for $300? Only a thief. So, the sammer and the scammee are both thieves!

I am not saying scamming is a good thing but those scammed deserve what they get for their greed. They get scammed cos they are greedy and are beaten by those who are more intelligent than they are.

I only feel sorry for those who are genuinely looking for true love but get scammed by stupid boys pretending to be girls! Enough said!

The Lion King and other stuff

A lion woke up one morning feeling rowdy. He went out and cornered a small monkey and roared, "Who is mightiest of all jungle animals?"
The trembling monkey says, "You are, mighty lion!
Later, the lion confronts a deer and bellows, "Who is mightiest of all jungle animals?"
The terrified deer stammers, "Oh great lion, you are by far the mightiest animal in the jungle!"
On a roll now, the lion swaggers up to an elephant and roars, "Who is mightiest of all jungle animals?"
Fast as lightning, the elephant snatches up the lion with his trunk, slams him against a tree half a dozen times, the lion feeling like it'd been run over by a safari wagon. The elephant then stomped on the lion till it looked like a corn tortilla, crapped on it, and ambled away.
The lion hollered after the elephant, "Damn, just because you don't know the answer, you don't have to get so pissed off."

A golden oldie Little Jonny.

The nun teaching Sunday School was speaking to her class one morningand she asked the question, 'When you die and go to Heaven...which part of your body goes first?'

Suzy raised her hand and said, 'I think it's your hands.'

'Why do you think it's your hands, Suzy?'

Suzy replied, 'Because when you pray, you hold your hands together in front of you and God just takes your hands first'

'What a wonderful answer!' the nun said.

Little Johnny raised his hand and said, 'Sister, I think it's your feet.'

The nun looked at him with the strangest look on her face.

'Now, Little Johnny, why do you think it would be your feet?

'Little Johnny said, 'Well, I walked into Mommy and Daddy's bedroom the other night and Mommy had her legs straight up in the air and she was saying, 'Oh ! God, I'm coming!'

'If Dad hadn't pinned her down, we'd have lost her.'

The Nun fainted.

U need to enlarge the above picture to be able to read it. It's really funny.

Enjoy.