One year, a husband decided to buy his mother-in-law a cemetery plot as a Christmas gift.
The next year, he didn't buy her a gift. When she asked him why, he replied, "Well, you still haven't used the gift I bought you last year!"
And that's how the fight started.... ************************************************************************
My wife walked into the den and asked "What's on the TV?"
I replied "Dust".
And that's how the fight started... ************************************************************************
A woman is standing nude, looking in the bedroom mirror. She is not happy with what she sees and says to her husband, 'I feel horrible. I look old, fat and ugly. I really need you to pay me a compliment.'
The husband replies, 'Your eyesight's damn near perfect.'
And that's how the fight started... ************************************************************************
My wife was hinting about what she wanted for our upcoming anniversary.
She said, 'I want something shiny that goes from 0 to 200 in about 3 seconds.
I bought her a scale.
And that's how the fight started....
************************************************************************
I asked my wife, 'Where do you want to go for our anniversary?' It warmed my heart to see her face melt in sweet appreciation.
'Somewhere I haven't been in a long time!' she said.
So I suggested, 'How about the kitchen?'
And that's when the fight started...
************************************************************************
My wife and I are watching Who Wants To Be A Millionaire while we were in bed. I turned to her and said, 'Do you want to have sex?'
'No,' she answered.
I then said, 'Is that your final answer?'
She didn't even look at me this time, simply saying 'Yes.'
So I said, 'Then I'd like to phone a friend.'
And that's when the fight started...
************************************************************************
I tried to talk my wife into buying a case of Miller Light for $14.95. Instead, she bought a jar of cold cream for $7.95.
I told her the beer would make her look better at night than the cold cream.
And that's when the fight started... ************************************************************************
I took my wife to a restaurant. The waiter, for some reason, took my order first.
'I'll have the strip steak, medium rare, please.'
He said, 'Aren't you worried about the mad cow?'
'I said nah, she can order for herself.'
And that's when the fight started...
Church Analytics
Thursday, February 19, 2009
Sunday, February 15, 2009
13 year old father.
The first time I heard about 13 year old Alfie Patten of Great Britain being a father, I was so angry because I thought it was unfair for the fifteen year old girl to take advantage of him. An average thirteen year old boy (all over the world) should be thinking about school and not girls, especially not sex. So I ignored the news each time it came on TV.
However, I have picked more interest in it now that there are two other 16 year old boys claiming paternity to the baby.
Not only is this girl ...a 15 year old girl, that should also have been concentrating on school, a baby snatcher (having sex with a 13 year old boy that looks like a 10 year old) she is also a keziah! (Someone who gives herself freely to any guy).
Everyone is laying claim to this child cos the media has over blown this situation. The boy's father who has 8 other children is aiming to get money from the media out of all these ruckus. Exclusive pics, exclusive interviews , etc for some bucks.
However, I have picked more interest in it now that there are two other 16 year old boys claiming paternity to the baby.
Not only is this girl ...a 15 year old girl, that should also have been concentrating on school, a baby snatcher (having sex with a 13 year old boy that looks like a 10 year old) she is also a keziah! (Someone who gives herself freely to any guy).She is a big embarrassment to herself and her family.
That being said, what could be the intention of these two teenagers claiming paternity to the baby? Money?? There claims are suspicious cos it's strange that they are doing this rather than do what an average teenage boy do... turn the other way. Deny, deny, deny and let the poor 13 year old take responsibility.
Everyone is laying claim to this child cos the media has over blown this situation. The boy's father who has 8 other children is aiming to get money from the media out of all these ruckus. Exclusive pics, exclusive interviews , etc for some bucks.Now, these boys who claim to have spent nights with the girl in her parents' home, want a DNA test to be taken to prove the child's paternity, everyone wants a cut out of this embarrassing situation. It's shameful.
Something needs to be done about this sex education given to children and freedom of 'this and that' all over.
What has happened to these people's morality and sense of shame?
What has happened to some parents and the world at large?
Tuesday, February 10, 2009
My Uncle, Mr Joseph Ikeji
UPDATE!
20th April, 2009: Hey all. My Uncle is doing fine now. He can use his hands and is very healthy, albeit he can't walk due to the spinal injury. He will be discharged from Imo State Teaching Hospital on Thursday, 23rd April, 2009.
Hey all. Thank you for your prayers.
My Uncle is currently at the Imo State University Teaching Hospital and is responding well to treatment.
Thank you immensely for your prayers.
20th April, 2009: Hey all. My Uncle is doing fine now. He can use his hands and is very healthy, albeit he can't walk due to the spinal injury. He will be discharged from Imo State Teaching Hospital on Thursday, 23rd April, 2009.
Hey all. Thank you for your prayers.
My Uncle is currently at the Imo State University Teaching Hospital and is responding well to treatment.
Thank you immensely for your prayers.
Sunday, February 1, 2009
Please pray for my Uncle, Mr Joseph Ikeji
My Uncle, Mr Joseph Ikeji is in his 70s. He left his home at Alaka Estate on the 14th January, 2009, to visit a friend of his at Iponri Estate, he climbed the pedestrian bridge (with the help of his walking stick), descended it and was going to cross the little plank over the gutter provided by Julius Berger (who has got the contract to build the road on Western Avenue). He put his right foot on the plank, put his stick on the plank, as he was about to put his second foot on the plank, it slipped and he fell into the gutter being built.
I remember that a day before that incident, I complained to a Julius Berger contractor that the plank that was placed over the gutter was dangerous and could hurt someone. His response was that "they didnt place the plank there". The gutter they built is a bit wide, the plank across it however, is thin, and almost weightless. When I put my foot on the plank to cross to the other side, the plank moved, so I quickly jumped. On my way back, I didn't use the plank, I managed to jump the big gutter in my high heels.
Anyways back to the story:
Fortunately, there were passersby who saw him fall. They quickly pulled him out of the gutter before he completely sank in, he lost his walking stick, but that was not all he lost. He lost the use of his voice, his legs and his arms.
My Uncle could not say a word for about an hour, people kept asking him questions but he couldn't reply, he only stared at them. Fortunately, someone who knew him summoned his friend at Iponri Estate, who got to the scene of the accident, surveyed the situation, then called my dad.
My dad got there, called one of his neighbours at Alaka Estate, who drove them back to his crib(Alaka Estate). After about an hour, my Uncle told my dad and everyone there what happened and how he hit his head on the edge of the gutter before he fell in. He could now talk but still couldn't move his hands nor legs.
We were informed about the accident by my dad. I got there after work, but couldn't see him. My dad showered and changed his clothes, my mum fed him, then brought him out into the living room. He could talk at this time but his voice was not strong. I had to bend and move close to him to hear him talk. I suggested they took him to the hospital but his Land lady suggested we waited till the next morning because it was late.
The next morning, my dad took him to LUTH, there, my dad was told that my Uncle may have sprained his spinal cord when he fell, they asked for a cast to be put round his neck, which my dad paid for. The following day, my dad was told by the nurses at LUTH to take my Uncle away cos there was no space there. They advised him to go to Igbobi Orthopaedic Hospital. My dad went there, but there was no space there. My dad went back to LUTH to relay this message but the Nurses insisted that my Uncle had to leave. My dad looked for other alternatives but couldn't find any.He went to different places until late into the night. Tired, he went back to LUTH and begged for my Uncle to remain there until the following day, which they agreed to.
The next day, my dad took my Uncle to R. Jolad Hospital in Gbagada, they admitted him, asked for a N20,000 deposit, which he paid. After my Uncle was given a bed, my tired dad went back home to rest. My mum, sister and dad took turns taking care of my Uncle at the hospital.
I asked my Uncle if there was any improvement but he said NO. At this time, he could neither pee nor pass out excrete.
He kept complaining that his health was deteriorating. I asked the doctor what the problem really was, but he said I should not worry that my Uncle would be well soon. We asked him if he could give something to my Uncle to enable him pee. He said he would provide a pipe that my Uncle could pee through, which he did. On his third night at the hospital, my sister Linda, spent the night looking after him. The following day, my dad visited and was told by the Doctor that my Uncle could not be treated, thus had to be discharged.
Since nothing was done to my Uncle, my dad asked for a refund or the balance of the payment he made, but the cashier declined, instead they gave him a receipt that read: N3,000 for 3 nights, N1,000 for X-rays and N16,000 for professional consultation. WTF??? What fucking professional consultation??? Nothing was done to him...except the pipe that was passed into his dick(which was removed after he was discharged). We only EVER saw the doctor once. The receipt was not even signed. My dad was pissed, he argued a bit, but wasn't in the mood, so he took my Uncle back to LUTH.
At LUTH, they said there was still no space. They went back to Igbobi: No space. So he took my Uncle back home. At 7pm, he went back to R. Jolad to get a referral to go to the General Hospital, but there was no doctor to give him a referral, so he came back home.
Next morning, he went back to R. Jolad, got the referral, went to the General Hospital with my Uncle and Mum...No space. For heavens sake! Why is there no flipping space???
They brought him back home. We were like...what next???(cos his condition was not improving). My dad took him to another private hospital...No space! All this while he still hadn't excreted nor passed urine.
My dad eventually went to a hospital where he could be treated, but they said they couldn't admit him. They gave him some medication and put a pipe in his dick so he could pee. Then they said my Uncle should come back the following day so they could make him pass out excreta.
The following day, my dad took him there(By the way...all these going up and down were done by carrying my Uncle, cos he still can't walk nor use his hands) and he was made to excrete...I don't know how it was done. He felt a lot better after that.
Our nights have not been peaceful for a couple of days now cos that's when he has much pain and discomfort.
We intend to take him to Imo State Teaching Hospital for treatment since all the hospitals here are 'full'.
He is single, never been married, so he is currently staying with us.
I beg ALL of you to PRAY for him to recover as soon as possible cos the pain is becoming unbearable.
PLEASE PRAY FOR MR JOSEPH IKEJI TO RECOVER AS SOON AS POSSIBLE.
Thank you all.
I remember that a day before that incident, I complained to a Julius Berger contractor that the plank that was placed over the gutter was dangerous and could hurt someone. His response was that "they didnt place the plank there". The gutter they built is a bit wide, the plank across it however, is thin, and almost weightless. When I put my foot on the plank to cross to the other side, the plank moved, so I quickly jumped. On my way back, I didn't use the plank, I managed to jump the big gutter in my high heels.
Anyways back to the story:
Fortunately, there were passersby who saw him fall. They quickly pulled him out of the gutter before he completely sank in, he lost his walking stick, but that was not all he lost. He lost the use of his voice, his legs and his arms.
My Uncle could not say a word for about an hour, people kept asking him questions but he couldn't reply, he only stared at them. Fortunately, someone who knew him summoned his friend at Iponri Estate, who got to the scene of the accident, surveyed the situation, then called my dad.
My dad got there, called one of his neighbours at Alaka Estate, who drove them back to his crib(Alaka Estate). After about an hour, my Uncle told my dad and everyone there what happened and how he hit his head on the edge of the gutter before he fell in. He could now talk but still couldn't move his hands nor legs.
We were informed about the accident by my dad. I got there after work, but couldn't see him. My dad showered and changed his clothes, my mum fed him, then brought him out into the living room. He could talk at this time but his voice was not strong. I had to bend and move close to him to hear him talk. I suggested they took him to the hospital but his Land lady suggested we waited till the next morning because it was late.
The next morning, my dad took him to LUTH, there, my dad was told that my Uncle may have sprained his spinal cord when he fell, they asked for a cast to be put round his neck, which my dad paid for. The following day, my dad was told by the nurses at LUTH to take my Uncle away cos there was no space there. They advised him to go to Igbobi Orthopaedic Hospital. My dad went there, but there was no space there. My dad went back to LUTH to relay this message but the Nurses insisted that my Uncle had to leave. My dad looked for other alternatives but couldn't find any.He went to different places until late into the night. Tired, he went back to LUTH and begged for my Uncle to remain there until the following day, which they agreed to.
The next day, my dad took my Uncle to R. Jolad Hospital in Gbagada, they admitted him, asked for a N20,000 deposit, which he paid. After my Uncle was given a bed, my tired dad went back home to rest. My mum, sister and dad took turns taking care of my Uncle at the hospital.
I asked my Uncle if there was any improvement but he said NO. At this time, he could neither pee nor pass out excrete.
He kept complaining that his health was deteriorating. I asked the doctor what the problem really was, but he said I should not worry that my Uncle would be well soon. We asked him if he could give something to my Uncle to enable him pee. He said he would provide a pipe that my Uncle could pee through, which he did. On his third night at the hospital, my sister Linda, spent the night looking after him. The following day, my dad visited and was told by the Doctor that my Uncle could not be treated, thus had to be discharged.
Since nothing was done to my Uncle, my dad asked for a refund or the balance of the payment he made, but the cashier declined, instead they gave him a receipt that read: N3,000 for 3 nights, N1,000 for X-rays and N16,000 for professional consultation. WTF??? What fucking professional consultation??? Nothing was done to him...except the pipe that was passed into his dick(which was removed after he was discharged). We only EVER saw the doctor once. The receipt was not even signed. My dad was pissed, he argued a bit, but wasn't in the mood, so he took my Uncle back to LUTH.
At LUTH, they said there was still no space. They went back to Igbobi: No space. So he took my Uncle back home. At 7pm, he went back to R. Jolad to get a referral to go to the General Hospital, but there was no doctor to give him a referral, so he came back home.
Next morning, he went back to R. Jolad, got the referral, went to the General Hospital with my Uncle and Mum...No space. For heavens sake! Why is there no flipping space???
They brought him back home. We were like...what next???(cos his condition was not improving). My dad took him to another private hospital...No space! All this while he still hadn't excreted nor passed urine.
My dad eventually went to a hospital where he could be treated, but they said they couldn't admit him. They gave him some medication and put a pipe in his dick so he could pee. Then they said my Uncle should come back the following day so they could make him pass out excreta.
The following day, my dad took him there(By the way...all these going up and down were done by carrying my Uncle, cos he still can't walk nor use his hands) and he was made to excrete...I don't know how it was done. He felt a lot better after that.
Our nights have not been peaceful for a couple of days now cos that's when he has much pain and discomfort.
We intend to take him to Imo State Teaching Hospital for treatment since all the hospitals here are 'full'.
He is single, never been married, so he is currently staying with us.
I beg ALL of you to PRAY for him to recover as soon as possible cos the pain is becoming unbearable.
PLEASE PRAY FOR MR JOSEPH IKEJI TO RECOVER AS SOON AS POSSIBLE.
Thank you all.
Rafael Nadal winner of the Australian Opens
Rafael Nadal has won the Australia Opens. He won by 3 sets to 2. He beat my favorite, Roger Federer, 7-5, 3-6, 7-6, 3-6, 6-2.
Federer did well but had so many unforced errors. Nadal on the other hand fought hard. So many times Federer had the lead but each time Nadal caught up with him and won. It's a shame, I was really rooting for Federer , so were most of the spectators, but Nadal won.
Immediately Nadal won, the court was quiet, it wasn't the type of reception I expected. The crowd was quiet, very few people cheered. A lot of people were not happy he won, however, he deserved it cos he worked real hard.
Federer wouldn't forget this defeat for a long time. Nadal beat him in the Clay finals, Grass and now this.
It's a pity to Roger Federer, but Congrats to Rafael Nadal.
Federer did well but had so many unforced errors. Nadal on the other hand fought hard. So many times Federer had the lead but each time Nadal caught up with him and won. It's a shame, I was really rooting for Federer , so were most of the spectators, but Nadal won.
Immediately Nadal won, the court was quiet, it wasn't the type of reception I expected. The crowd was quiet, very few people cheered. A lot of people were not happy he won, however, he deserved it cos he worked real hard.
Federer wouldn't forget this defeat for a long time. Nadal beat him in the Clay finals, Grass and now this.
It's a pity to Roger Federer, but Congrats to Rafael Nadal.
Thursday, January 22, 2009
Stupid Questions, Brilliant Answers!
I posted this blog post in the past (April, 2007) , I read it again today and decided to re-post it for the benefit of those who didn't have the opportunity to enjoy it.
Enjoy folks.
Questions about South Africa were posted on a South African Tourism Website and were answered by the website owner.
Q: Does it ever get windy in South Africa? I have never seen it rain on TV, so how do the plants grow? (UK)
A: We import all plants fully grown and then just sit around watching them die.
Q: Will I be able to see elephants in the street? (USA)
A: Depends how much you've been drinking or sniffing.
Q: I want to walk from Durban to Cape Town - can I follow the railroad tracks? (Sweden)
A: Sure, it's only two thousand kilometres. Take lots of water.
Q: Is it safe to run around in the bushes in South Africa? (Sweden)
A: So it's true what they say about Swedes.
Q: Are there any ATMs (cash machines) in South Africa? Can you send me a list of them in JHB, Cape Town, Knysna and Jeffrey's Bay? (UK)
A: What did your last slave die of?
Q: Can you give me some information about Koala Bear racing in South Africa? (USA)
A: Aus-tra-lia is that big island in the middle of the Pacific. A-fri-ca is the big triangle shaped continent south of Europe which does not... oh forget it. Sure, the Koala Bear racing is every Tuesday night in Hillbrow. Come naked.
Q: Which direction is north in South Africa? (USA)
A: Face south and then turn 90 degrees. Contact us when you get there and we'll send the rest of the directions.
Q: Can I bring cutlery into South Africa? (UK)
A: Why? Just use your fingers like we do.
Q: Can you send me the Vienna Boys' Choir schedule? (USA)
A: Aus-tri-a is that quaint little country bordering Ger-man-y, which is. oh forget it. Sure, the Vienna Boys Choir plays every Tuesday night in Hillbrow, straight after the Koala Bear races. Come naked.
Q: Do you have perfume in South Africa? (France)
A: No, WE don't stink.
Q: I have developed a new product that is the fountain of youth. Can you tell me where I can sell it in South Africa? (USA)
A: Anywhere significant numbers of Americans gather.
Q: Can you tell me the regions in South Africa where the female population is smaller than the male population? (Italy)
A: Yes, gay nightclubs.
Q: Do you celebrate Christmas in South Africa? (France)
A: Only at Christmas.
Q: Are there killer bees in South Africa? (Germany)
A: Not yet, but for you, we'll import them.
Q: Are there supermarkets in Cape Town and is milk available all year round? (Germany)
A: No, we are a peaceful civilisation of vegan hunter-gatherers. Milk is illegal
Q: Please send a list of all doctors in South Africa who can dispense rattlesnake serum. (USA)
A: Rattlesnakes live in A-meri-ca, which is where YOU come from. All South African snakes are perfectly harmless, can be safely handled and make good pets. Good examples of snakes as pets are mambas (both green and black), rinkhals and municipal workers.
Q: I was in South Africa in 1969, and I want to contact the girl I dated while I was staying in Hillbrow. Can you help? (USA)
A: Yes, and you will still have to pay her by the hour.
Q: Will I be able to speek English most places I go? (USA)
A: Yes, but you'll have to learn it first
Enjoy folks.
Questions about South Africa were posted on a South African Tourism Website and were answered by the website owner.
Q: Does it ever get windy in South Africa? I have never seen it rain on TV, so how do the plants grow? (UK)
A: We import all plants fully grown and then just sit around watching them die.
Q: Will I be able to see elephants in the street? (USA)
A: Depends how much you've been drinking or sniffing.
Q: I want to walk from Durban to Cape Town - can I follow the railroad tracks? (Sweden)
A: Sure, it's only two thousand kilometres. Take lots of water.
Q: Is it safe to run around in the bushes in South Africa? (Sweden)
A: So it's true what they say about Swedes.
Q: Are there any ATMs (cash machines) in South Africa? Can you send me a list of them in JHB, Cape Town, Knysna and Jeffrey's Bay? (UK)
A: What did your last slave die of?
Q: Can you give me some information about Koala Bear racing in South Africa? (USA)
A: Aus-tra-lia is that big island in the middle of the Pacific. A-fri-ca is the big triangle shaped continent south of Europe which does not... oh forget it. Sure, the Koala Bear racing is every Tuesday night in Hillbrow. Come naked.
Q: Which direction is north in South Africa? (USA)
A: Face south and then turn 90 degrees. Contact us when you get there and we'll send the rest of the directions.
Q: Can I bring cutlery into South Africa? (UK)
A: Why? Just use your fingers like we do.
Q: Can you send me the Vienna Boys' Choir schedule? (USA)
A: Aus-tri-a is that quaint little country bordering Ger-man-y, which is. oh forget it. Sure, the Vienna Boys Choir plays every Tuesday night in Hillbrow, straight after the Koala Bear races. Come naked.
Q: Do you have perfume in South Africa? (France)
A: No, WE don't stink.
Q: I have developed a new product that is the fountain of youth. Can you tell me where I can sell it in South Africa? (USA)
A: Anywhere significant numbers of Americans gather.
Q: Can you tell me the regions in South Africa where the female population is smaller than the male population? (Italy)
A: Yes, gay nightclubs.
Q: Do you celebrate Christmas in South Africa? (France)
A: Only at Christmas.
Q: Are there killer bees in South Africa? (Germany)
A: Not yet, but for you, we'll import them.
Q: Are there supermarkets in Cape Town and is milk available all year round? (Germany)
A: No, we are a peaceful civilisation of vegan hunter-gatherers. Milk is illegal
Q: Please send a list of all doctors in South Africa who can dispense rattlesnake serum. (USA)
A: Rattlesnakes live in A-meri-ca, which is where YOU come from. All South African snakes are perfectly harmless, can be safely handled and make good pets. Good examples of snakes as pets are mambas (both green and black), rinkhals and municipal workers.
Q: I was in South Africa in 1969, and I want to contact the girl I dated while I was staying in Hillbrow. Can you help? (USA)
A: Yes, and you will still have to pay her by the hour.
Q: Will I be able to speek English most places I go? (USA)
A: Yes, but you'll have to learn it first
Friday, January 9, 2009
A successful rancher died and left everything to his devoted wife. She was a very good-looking woman and determined to keep the ranch, but knew very little about ranching, so she decided to place an ad in thenewspaper for a ranch hand.
Two cowboys applied for the job. One was gay and the other a drunk. She thought long and hard about it, and when no one else applied she decidedto hire the gay guy, figuring it would be safer to have him around the house than the drunk.
He proved to be a hard worker who put in long hours every day and knew alot about ranching. For weeks, the two of them worked, and the ranch was doing very well.
Then one day, the rancher's widow said to the hired hand, 'You have done a really good job, and the ranch looks great You should go into town and kick up your heels.'
The hired hand readily agreed and went into town one Saturday night. One o'clock came, however, and he didn't return. Two o'clock and no hired hand. Finally he returned around two-thirty, and upon entering the room, he found the rancher's widow sitting by the fire place with a glass of wine,waiting for him.
She quietly called him over to her.
Unbutton my blouse and take it off,' she said. Trembling, he did as she directed.
Now take off my boots.' He did as she asked, ever so slowly.
Now take off my stockings.' He removed each gently and placed them neatly by her boots.
Now take off my skirt.' He slowly unbuttoned it, constantly watching her eyes in the firelight.
Now take off my bra.' Again, with trembling hands, he did as he was told and dropped it to the floor.
Then she looked at him and said, 'If you ever wear my clothes into town again, you're fired.'
I didn't see it coming either!
Two cowboys applied for the job. One was gay and the other a drunk. She thought long and hard about it, and when no one else applied she decidedto hire the gay guy, figuring it would be safer to have him around the house than the drunk.
He proved to be a hard worker who put in long hours every day and knew alot about ranching. For weeks, the two of them worked, and the ranch was doing very well.
Then one day, the rancher's widow said to the hired hand, 'You have done a really good job, and the ranch looks great You should go into town and kick up your heels.'
The hired hand readily agreed and went into town one Saturday night. One o'clock came, however, and he didn't return. Two o'clock and no hired hand. Finally he returned around two-thirty, and upon entering the room, he found the rancher's widow sitting by the fire place with a glass of wine,waiting for him.
She quietly called him over to her.
Unbutton my blouse and take it off,' she said. Trembling, he did as she directed.
Now take off my boots.' He did as she asked, ever so slowly.
Now take off my stockings.' He removed each gently and placed them neatly by her boots.
Now take off my skirt.' He slowly unbuttoned it, constantly watching her eyes in the firelight.
Now take off my bra.' Again, with trembling hands, he did as he was told and dropped it to the floor.
Then she looked at him and said, 'If you ever wear my clothes into town again, you're fired.'
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Wednesday, January 7, 2009
Happy New Year y'all
Hey people! Compliments of the season to everyone! I was away on vacation, got back two days ago. I had a fantastic vacation, would give you the details but I won’t, lol. Long and short of it was that I had a fabulous time!
So many good things are gonna happen to me this year and to everyone else who deserve good things (which means everyone would get good things).
Two VERY important and positive things are gonna happen to me in the first quarter of this year, I'd like to tell you guys what they are but if I did, it won’t be fun. Will tell you guys as they unfold. I am sooooooooooooo excited about them!!!!!!!!!!
Anyways, I am back to work and my nice life.
I don't make new year resolutions so I won't bother with one. Good luck to those of you who make New year resolution(s) ...I am gonna quit somking this year...10hours later, they light up a ciggie. I am gonna stop drinking this year...next 2days...they are drinking a little pint of larger, lol. I am gonna stop cheating on my partner....a week later..hey ****, want a quick f*** for all times sake.lol. etc etc.I pray that everyone gets what their desire.
Hope to write more scintillating stories and keep you guys entertained!
I hope you all have a prosperous New year.
Cheers.
Vera.
So many good things are gonna happen to me this year and to everyone else who deserve good things (which means everyone would get good things).
Two VERY important and positive things are gonna happen to me in the first quarter of this year, I'd like to tell you guys what they are but if I did, it won’t be fun. Will tell you guys as they unfold. I am sooooooooooooo excited about them!!!!!!!!!!
Anyways, I am back to work and my nice life.
I don't make new year resolutions so I won't bother with one. Good luck to those of you who make New year resolution(s) ...I am gonna quit somking this year...10hours later, they light up a ciggie. I am gonna stop drinking this year...next 2days...they are drinking a little pint of larger, lol. I am gonna stop cheating on my partner....a week later..hey ****, want a quick f*** for all times sake.lol. etc etc.I pray that everyone gets what their desire.
Hope to write more scintillating stories and keep you guys entertained!
I hope you all have a prosperous New year.
Cheers.
Vera.
Thursday, December 4, 2008
MTV MAMA Awards, 2008
The MTV Africa Awards was held at the Velodrome near the National Stadium in Abuja, Nigeria. Contrary to all the negative publicity the fantastic event has been receiving, I think IT IS THE BEST EVENT EVER HELD IN THE HISTORY OF THIS COUNTRY. The stage was AMAZING, never seen anything like it in Nigeria, ever! When I saw it on TV, I asked my sister what country it was been held at, she looked at me and said "here of course, in Abuja". I was speechless and proud, I never thought we could build a stage as 'chasis' as that. I was impressed.
JOZI won this dance competition by far. P-Square tried but Jozi danced better during the bout.
Flo Rida's performance was off the hook!
D’banj (Nigeria) won Artist of the year award and the Best Male Award. He had an outstanding performance with Kelly Rowland. He won most of the awards that night.
MTV AWARD 2008
Wahu (Kenya) won Best Female Artist. She was very emotional when she climbed up the stage to pick up her award.
Ikechuku - Wind am well (Nigeria): Best Video. Loved his performance with Cassette and the other group, cant remember their name, lol.
9ice (Nigeria): Best Hip-hop Award. His performance was cool and da bomb!
P-Square (Nigeria) won Best Group. Gee, the look on Peter's face when they won the best group award was scary. hahaha. I was like..what's the matter with him? I guess they were expecting to win more awards and were pissed cos they only won one. They should be happy that they even got one, haha. Peter's speech about his son and baby mama was just plain unnecessary, I thought he looked stupid making that stupid speech. He looked more stupid trying to Americanise his words.Thank God for his brother's timely intervention: "In Nigeria anything can happen" hahaha.
Jozi (South Africa) Best Live Performers.
People are complaining cos they couldn't get their own way by trying to get in through the 'back door' and certain people who thought they were 'important', were treated the same way as everyone else (which is the way it should be), haha. Anyways, back to the event. It was spectacular, the lighting, the stage, the whole venue, everything looked awesome!
I don't know why some people are bitching about the event (they are entitled to their bitching though cos there is freedom of speech and...bitching, lol), we won most of the awards man! Haha. Be proud of what we achieved and stop complaining.
JOZI won this dance competition by far. P-Square tried but Jozi danced better during the bout.
Flo Rida's performance was off the hook!
D’banj (Nigeria) won Artist of the year award and the Best Male Award. He had an outstanding performance with Kelly Rowland. He won most of the awards that night.
MTV AWARD 2008
Wahu (Kenya) won Best Female Artist. She was very emotional when she climbed up the stage to pick up her award.
Ikechuku - Wind am well (Nigeria): Best Video. Loved his performance with Cassette and the other group, cant remember their name, lol.
9ice (Nigeria): Best Hip-hop Award. His performance was cool and da bomb!
P-Square (Nigeria) won Best Group. Gee, the look on Peter's face when they won the best group award was scary. hahaha. I was like..what's the matter with him? I guess they were expecting to win more awards and were pissed cos they only won one. They should be happy that they even got one, haha. Peter's speech about his son and baby mama was just plain unnecessary, I thought he looked stupid making that stupid speech. He looked more stupid trying to Americanise his words.Thank God for his brother's timely intervention: "In Nigeria anything can happen" hahaha.
Jozi (South Africa) Best Live Performers. Naeto C (Nigeria): Best New Act.
Late Fela Kuti (Nigeria) won The Legend Gong Award.
Seether (South Africa) wonBest Alternative Group.
The Game's performace was simply the best! He only sang one song but people went crazy when he started performing. However, his wardrobe malfunction was nothing to write home about, haha. His jeans kept falling off...my sister said it was fashion, I thought it was bullshit, haha. When he took his shirt off, his purple colored boxers was just out for everyone to see. I am sorry I dont think showing off your undies is fashionable.
Sunday, November 9, 2008
Barack Obama US President elect
Barack Hussein Obama, United States President elect. Just two days after Lewis Hamilton won his first Championship!!!! Amazing!!! Wonders shall never end.
I never knew how the election was gonna go. I kept an open mind.
I didn't think Americans would let a Black man rule them. However, looking at his opponent, McCain, he was too old, 72 and didn't look like a good candidate to run the country (my opinion). His choice of Vice president - Sarah Palin, then compounded his whole race.
So, I was kinda optimistic but open minded as well, because I did not want to be too disappointed if it didn't happen. 
My colleagues at work were going to bet on who was going to win.
My colleagues at work were going to bet on who was going to win. One of them even went as far as wanting to bet with his laptop that Obama was not going to win, but I stopped him, telling him he was not an American, hence, couldn't vouch for who the Americans would vote for. I said "only he who wears the shoe knows wear it pinches". He took my advice. Thank God he did, else, he would have lost his PC. lol.
Up until the last moment, I never was sure who would win the election.
Up until the last moment, I never was sure who would win the election.I knew Barack was leading in the opinion polls, but still was not sure what the election outcome was going to be, until I heard a loud shout in the wee hours of the morning, from my living room. I panicked and ran to the living room only to find my siblings rejoicing over Obama's victory.
I am happy for Americans, I am happy for the fact that they want CHANGE. They have used one side of the coin for a long time and are ready for the other side of the coin.
Now, America 'player-haters' may regard Americans with more respect than they were accorded in the past.
On the other hand, I am almost sure this can NEVER happen in any part of Europe, lol. (Just stating a fact).
I still can not believe he did it!!!! If this can happen, then nothing is IMPOSSIBLE for anyone, as long as they are hard working and determined to achieve what they want. Perseverance goes a long way to achieve what you want!
No more excuses y'all! lol.
Electoral votes: The winner only needed 270 votes.
Obama had 364 votes while McCain had 162 votes.
Popular votes result:
Obama had 65,293,083 votes while McCain had 57,325,487 votes. See the difference??
What an ass whooping result! Hahaha.
These pictures were taken on election day! U can check out more of these pics on flickr.
Congratulations Mr President elect!!!
Sunday, November 2, 2008
Lewis Hamilton,wins F1 World Champion
Lewis Hamilton is the world's youngest Formula 1 Champion ever! He only needed to come fifth or above in today's race in Brazil and he did it!! Felipe Massa was first by about 20seconds, Fernando Alonso was behind him followed by Kimi Raikkonen.
I was so tense when the race got to only 2 laps to go and Lewis was 5th, then 6th, behind Glock. I was like, 'please don't ruin ur chance man!' I was jumping up and down the couch urging Hamilton on (as if i could lift him up and make him fly past others, lol), then by a stroke of luck, Glock slowed down and Hamilton drove past him. And i was....thank God, Hamilton , this is ur chance..... and he did it!!! He came fifth!!! He was only 1 point ahead of Massa! Hamilton was...I think 98, while Massa was 97.
Massa won today's race, but he was so down cast. Massa's team were celebrating after he had crossed the line (cos Hamilton was in the 6th position after Massa had already won) but alas! Hamilton drove past Glock and won it!!!
I am sorry but I couldn't help but laugh when I saw the look Massa's team's faces when Hamilton drove past Glock. When he won, my happiness knew no bound cos he deserved to win.
What with what all the 'head ache' he had with ex-team mate, Fernando Alonso, before Alonso moved to Renault.
The incident with Ferrari: when a Ferrari driver pushed him off track during one of their previous races. He lost points because of that swerve, he appealed for Ferrari to be penalised but his appeal went unheeded.
I remember during one of their previous races, he avoided being hit by one of the drivers during a grand prix (can't remember which one now) and had to drive across the grass. He won the race but he was penalised for cutting corners, he lost some points and was pushed down to either 3rd or 4th. So, when the Ferrari incident happened, I was pissed when his appeal was brushed off.
Anyways, what matters now is that he has won the championship!!! He is the youngest man to ever win a F1 Championship and the 1st Black man (Ok, his mum is white and his dad white, but we are claiming him, lol)to ever win it!!! Congratulations man!
Oh i forgot, Nicole Schwaregegddkfkfv ...(Pussy cat doll lead singer)lol was there.
I didn't even know they were dating. I was like, "what is pussy cat doll doing there?" My sister said she was dating a car racer, and I said 'there's no f**king way it could be Lewis, she is a lot older than him", then i saw his brother in front of her and i was like...'what???',lol. Imagine Nicole and Lewis, lol, like I always say 'Money talks, bullshit walks!'
Anyways, back to my gist. She was very calm but kinda 'on edge' when the race was on, but as soon as Lewis won, she was so exhilarated! She stood directly behind Nicholas, Lewis' brother, and kept touching Lewis when he was kissing his brother. He didn't touch her, only acknowledged her presence by looking at her as he walked away.
He moved inside the pit (or whatever they call that room) and was hugging and kissing his dad, Nicole schwahdufjjlfjf, lol, (sorry, her name is too difficult to spell, lol) was there again, hugging him, he moved away from her and went celebrating with his team members, she walked to his dad and kissed and hugged him. My sister and I kept thinking....'why the fuck is she making a mess of herself?',lol. I thought she was a star, haha, no one recognised her there. She looked pretty, but all her make up was gone, she was like a star struck fan of Lewis'.
Hamilton moved away from the crowd, she kinda tried to follow him, but the crowd swallowed him up, lol. He moved to a private room where he was with his dad and some other team members, lol. We couldn't stop laughing at her nonsensity! (to borrow Chief Zebrudaya's English) hahaha. Very embarrassing! Lol.
I was so tense when the race got to only 2 laps to go and Lewis was 5th, then 6th, behind Glock. I was like, 'please don't ruin ur chance man!' I was jumping up and down the couch urging Hamilton on (as if i could lift him up and make him fly past others, lol), then by a stroke of luck, Glock slowed down and Hamilton drove past him. And i was....thank God, Hamilton , this is ur chance..... and he did it!!! He came fifth!!! He was only 1 point ahead of Massa! Hamilton was...I think 98, while Massa was 97.
Massa won today's race, but he was so down cast. Massa's team were celebrating after he had crossed the line (cos Hamilton was in the 6th position after Massa had already won) but alas! Hamilton drove past Glock and won it!!!I am sorry but I couldn't help but laugh when I saw the look Massa's team's faces when Hamilton drove past Glock. When he won, my happiness knew no bound cos he deserved to win.
What with what all the 'head ache' he had with ex-team mate, Fernando Alonso, before Alonso moved to Renault.
The incident with Ferrari: when a Ferrari driver pushed him off track during one of their previous races. He lost points because of that swerve, he appealed for Ferrari to be penalised but his appeal went unheeded.
I remember during one of their previous races, he avoided being hit by one of the drivers during a grand prix (can't remember which one now) and had to drive across the grass. He won the race but he was penalised for cutting corners, he lost some points and was pushed down to either 3rd or 4th. So, when the Ferrari incident happened, I was pissed when his appeal was brushed off.
Anyways, what matters now is that he has won the championship!!! He is the youngest man to ever win a F1 Championship and the 1st Black man (Ok, his mum is white and his dad white, but we are claiming him, lol)to ever win it!!! Congratulations man!
Oh i forgot, Nicole Schwaregegddkfkfv ...(Pussy cat doll lead singer)lol was there.
I didn't even know they were dating. I was like, "what is pussy cat doll doing there?" My sister said she was dating a car racer, and I said 'there's no f**king way it could be Lewis, she is a lot older than him", then i saw his brother in front of her and i was like...'what???',lol. Imagine Nicole and Lewis, lol, like I always say 'Money talks, bullshit walks!'
Anyways, back to my gist. She was very calm but kinda 'on edge' when the race was on, but as soon as Lewis won, she was so exhilarated! She stood directly behind Nicholas, Lewis' brother, and kept touching Lewis when he was kissing his brother. He didn't touch her, only acknowledged her presence by looking at her as he walked away.
He moved inside the pit (or whatever they call that room) and was hugging and kissing his dad, Nicole schwahdufjjlfjf, lol, (sorry, her name is too difficult to spell, lol) was there again, hugging him, he moved away from her and went celebrating with his team members, she walked to his dad and kissed and hugged him. My sister and I kept thinking....'why the fuck is she making a mess of herself?',lol. I thought she was a star, haha, no one recognised her there. She looked pretty, but all her make up was gone, she was like a star struck fan of Lewis'.
Hamilton moved away from the crowd, she kinda tried to follow him, but the crowd swallowed him up, lol. He moved to a private room where he was with his dad and some other team members, lol. We couldn't stop laughing at her nonsensity! (to borrow Chief Zebrudaya's English) hahaha. Very embarrassing! Lol.
Saturday, November 1, 2008
13 year old Somali girl killed for saying she was raped
have I saw this scroll past on the news (as breaking news this afternoon) but the report wasn't given in detail, so i went online to search for the full detail.
Read the gory info:
A 13-year-old girl who said she had been raped was stoned to death in Somalia after being accused of adultery by Islamic militants, a human rights group said.
Dozens of men stoned Aisha Ibrahim Duhulow to death Oct. 27 in a stadium packed with 1,000 spectators in the southern port city of Kismayo, Amnesty International and Somali media reported, citing witnesses. The Islamic militia in charge of Kismayo had accused her of adultery after she reported that three men had raped her, the rights group said.
Initial local media reports said Duhulow was 23, but her father told Amnesty International she was 13. Some of the Somali journalists who first reported the killing later told Amnesty International that they had reported she was 23 based upon her physical appearance.
Can anyone f**king believe this??? A 13 year old girl was raped by THREE MEN, rather than jail them for the abomination they committed they stoned the poor child to death for speaking out!!!!
This child suffered a horrible death for just being a girl in a fucked up society!!!! Geeeee men!!!
WTF??? W hat the f**k is wrong with these people??? I am soooooooooooooooooo f**king pissed right now that i am not gonna write anything further to avoid shit! Is there any justice in this f**ked up world??? I am soooooo angry. If I were ....
Again WTF????
Read the gory info:
A 13-year-old girl who said she had been raped was stoned to death in Somalia after being accused of adultery by Islamic militants, a human rights group said.
Dozens of men stoned Aisha Ibrahim Duhulow to death Oct. 27 in a stadium packed with 1,000 spectators in the southern port city of Kismayo, Amnesty International and Somali media reported, citing witnesses. The Islamic militia in charge of Kismayo had accused her of adultery after she reported that three men had raped her, the rights group said.
Initial local media reports said Duhulow was 23, but her father told Amnesty International she was 13. Some of the Somali journalists who first reported the killing later told Amnesty International that they had reported she was 23 based upon her physical appearance.
Can anyone f**king believe this??? A 13 year old girl was raped by THREE MEN, rather than jail them for the abomination they committed they stoned the poor child to death for speaking out!!!!
This child suffered a horrible death for just being a girl in a fucked up society!!!! Geeeee men!!!
WTF??? W hat the f**k is wrong with these people??? I am soooooooooooooooooo f**king pissed right now that i am not gonna write anything further to avoid shit! Is there any justice in this f**ked up world??? I am soooooo angry. If I were ....
Again WTF????
Thursday, October 30, 2008
Safe sex
I saw this advert and couldn't help but laugh. I laughed so hard there were tears in my eyes and my tummy hurt. I enjoyed it so much that i decided to share it! Hahahahaha.
No offense meant but, i think this is very funny. A'riya riya...somebody stop me!!! Hahaha.
No offense meant but, i think this is very funny. A'riya riya...somebody stop me!!! Hahaha.
Wednesday, October 22, 2008
LATERAL THINKING PROWESS
CHECK YOUR LATERAL THINKING. THE FIRST 4 ARE THE QUESTIONS AND THE LAST 4 ARE THE ANSWERS
DO NOT LOOK AT THE ANSWERS FIRST !!!!!
THESE ARE REALLY GOOD !!!! TRY IT OUT
DO NOT LOOK AT THE ANSWERS FIRST !!!!!
THESE ARE REALLY GOOD !!!! TRY IT OUT
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Answer
Wednesday, October 15, 2008
Funnies
Hahaha, they are all urs man, stop playing around. Hahaha
Haha.
Another one that i like. Hahaha. I am sure some men feel like this sometimes.haha
This is another goldie!! Loves it! hahaha
Hahaha, e dey go pack shit! Hahaha.
Sure! Ride on ride on!
I love this one, chasis!!.. my favorite! Hahaha...This woman is in big trouble. Loves it!!!
Hahaha, poor guy. I am sure he would have preferred.....hahaha
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