Gists.

Paris Hilton wanna-be, Nicole Richie has been sentenced to 4days in jail for D.U.I. She should get prison survival tips from her pal, Paris. I don't think she will need it though cos her stay in jail is very temporary. She is seen in this picture with her fiancee entering the court house.

EDDY MURPHY AND TRACEY EDMUNDS.

Eddy has proposed to his girlfriend of 10months,Tracey Edmunds....ummmmm, i don't know what to make of this.


The guy divorced his wife who had 5 of his children, abandoned his girlfriend when she was pregnant and denied the paternity of the child, (a DNA result showed he was the father) and now he wants to marry again? He proposed to Tracey with a huge 8carat gold ring but i she should think 2ce before making such a HUGE decision with him.
If he can abandon his girlfriend and unborn baby in a dire time, think what he would do to her(Tracey) when he meets another girl.



Shame on me, but i am very glad that Usher has cancelled his wedding to his aunt,Tameka Foster. lol.
His publicist announced that the wedding has been cancelled but gave no reason. That woman(Tameka Foster has caused nothing but trouble for the poor lad. She severed the wonderful relationship Usher had with his mum, severed the relationship he had with his godfather Ben Vereen, and in May severed ties with his publicist of nine years, Simon Smalls.

Trapped him with pregnancy, that conniving *****.

That woman has given him nothing but trouble. He doesn't know it cos he is emotionally involved with her so he is blind to all her wahala, but we know cos we aren't. We see her for what she is.


I am waiting to hear that pathetic girl's fate, Lindsay Lohan. I am so so so disappointed in the way she has chosen to live her life. I watched her movies from when she was a child and really thought she was going to end up living like a responsible adult when she grew up but that was not to be.


At the end of the day though, it's her life. If she wants to ruin it...so be it.


Whatever makes anyone happy.

MEXICAN JEWS, MUY BUENO!!!

Two Jewish men, Sid and Al, were sitting in a Mexican restaurant. Sid asked Al, 'Are there any people of our faith born and raised in Mexico ?' Al replied, 'Idon't know, let's ask our waiter.'
When the waiter came by, Al asked him, 'Are there any Mexican Jews?' and the waiter said, 'I don't know Senor, I'll ask the cooks.'
He returned from the kitchen in a few minutes and said 'No sir, no Mexican Jews.'
Al wasn't really satisfied with that and asked, 'Are you absolutely sure?'
The waiter, realizing he was dealing with 'Gringos' gave the expected answer, 'I will check again, Senor!' and went back into the kitchen.
While the waiter was away, Sid said, 'I find it hard to believe that there are no Jews in Mexico , our people are scattered everywhere.'
The waiter returned and said 'Senor, the head cook said there is no Mexican Jews.'
'Are you certain?' Al asked once again. 'I can't believe there are no Mexican Jews!'

'Senor, I ask EVERYONE,' replied the exasperated waiter, 'All we have isOrange Jews, Prune Jews, Tomato Jews, and Grape Jews.'

Masturbating Vs. Cheating.

I read a post on my sister's blog, http://lindaikeji.blogspot.com/, on 'Faking Orgasm' and i thought to myself. Why do females fake it? The answer is simple... So that guys can get it over with.
She also talked female circumcision and circumcised girls not reaching orgasm or enjoying sex. I am circumcised and i ENJOY SEX a lot, not just that, i reach orgasm about 85% of the time. Enjoying sex and being circumcised are 2 very different things and one has nothing to do with the other.
A friend of mine once said circumcised girls are supposed to have a better opportunity to enjoy sex and reach orgasm more be cos the rubbish flesh has being cut off thereby making a girl's clit. more sensitive.
Now back to my topic.
Masturbation according to 'Sheri and Bob Stritof' is sexual stimulation (not intercourse) that produces an orgasm. They also say many physicians believe masturbation to be a normal, natural activity that most people engage in throughout their life.

Now what is Cheating in a relationship? Lol. I think cheating is lying and deceiving Ur partner. Sometimes our relationships are not as straight forward as we want them to be but we have a choice a either staying in a loveless relationship or walking away from it.

Very few Africans masturbate, they think it's devilish or whatever..... to me that's bullshit!!!
No one knows Ur body as much as u do, u know the right place to touch, how to stimulate Ur organ to get that amazing orgasm u crave for. So why not?

Anyways, what will u prefer, have a partner who masturbates when u are not there for them or have a partner who cheats?

Check out this site for advise on how to deal with Ur cheating partner, http://dir.yahoo.com/Society_and_Culture/Relationships/Cheating/?skw=what+is+cheating+in+relationships%3F

Proud To Be White.

I am BLACK AND PROUD...lol but saw this mail and decidedc to share it. U will see why i laughed after i said 'I am black and Proud'. Read on...

Someone finally said it.
How many are actually paying attention to this?

*There are African Americans, Mexican Americans,Asian Americans, Arab Americans, Native Americans, etc. And then there are just Americans.
You pass me on the street and sneer in my direction. You Call me "White boy," "Cracker," " Honkey," "Whitey," "Caveman" .. And that's OK.
But when I call you, Nigger, Kike, Towel head, Sand-nigger, Camel Jockey,Beaner, Gook, or Chink ... You call me a racist.
*You say that whites commit a lot of violence against you, So why are the ghettos the most dangerous places to live?
*You have the United Negro College Fund.
*You have Martin Luther King Day.
*You have Black History Month.
*You have Cesar Chavez Day.
*You Have Yom Hashoah
*You have Ma'uled Al- Nabi
*You have the NAACP
*You have BET.
*If we had WET (White Entertainment Television) ...We'd be racists.
*If we had a White Pride Day ...You would call us racists.-
*If we had White History Month...We'd be racists.
*If we had any organization for only whites to "advance" OUR lives...We'd be racists.

*We have a Hispanic Chamber of Commerce,a Black Chamber of Commerce..
And then we just have the plain Chamber of Commerce. Wonder who pays for that?
*If we had a college fund that only gave white students scholarships... You know we'd be racists.

*There are over 60 openly proclaimed Black Colleges in the US , Yet if there were "White colleges" ...THAT would be a racist college.

*In the Million Man March, you believed that you were marching for your race and rights.
*If we marched for our race and rights...You would call us racists.
*You are proud to be black, brown, yellow and orange, and you're Not afraid to announce it. But when we announce our white pride ...You call us racists.
*You rob us, car jack us, and shoot at us.But, when a white police officer shoots a black gang member or beats up a black drug-dealer running from the law and posing a threat to society ...You call him a racist.

I am proud...But, you call me a racist....Why is it that only whites can be racists?

That is the end of the moaning. Lol.

Please can anyone answer this question?

Mujibar.

Mujibar was trying to get a job in India .

The Personnel Manager said, "Mujibar, you have passed all the tests, except one. Unless you pass it you cannot qualify for this job."

Mujibar said, "I am ready."

The manager said, "Make a sentence using the words Yellow, Pink and Green."
Mujibar thought for a few minutes and said, "Mister manager, I am ready"

The manager said, "Go ahead."

Mujibar said, "The telephone goes green, green, and I pink it up, and say, 'Yellow', this is Mujibar."

Mujibar now works as a technician at a call center for computer problems.

Be careful when consuming too much beer!!

Beer contains female hormomones.

The National University of Lesotho scientists released the results of a recent analysis that revealed the presence of female hormones in beer.
Men should take a concerned look at their beer consumption. The theory is that beer contains female hormones (hops contain phytoestrogens) and that by drinking enough beer, men turn into women.
To test the theory, 100 men drank 8 pints of beer each within a 1 hour period. It was then observed that 100% of the test subjects:
1) Argued over nothing.
2) Refused to apologize when obviously wrong.
3) Gained weight.
4) Talked excessively without making sense.
5) Became overly emotional.
6) Couldn't drive.
7) Failed to think rationally.
8) Had to sit down while urinating.

No further testing was considered necessary.

RISQUÉ RIDDLES

Q. What is the difference between a drug dealer and a hooker?
A. A hooker can wash her crack and sell it again.

Q. What's a mixed feeling?
A. When you see your mother-in-law backing off a cliff in your new car.

Q. What's the height of conceit?
A. Having an orgasm and calling out your own name.

Q. What's the definition of macho?
A. Jogging home from your vasectomy.

Q. What's the difference between a G-spot and a golf ball?
A. A guy will actually search for a golf ball

Q.Why is divorce so expensive?
A. Because it's worth it!

Q.What is a Yankee?
A. The same as a quickie, but a guy can do it alone.

Q. What do Tupperware and a walrus have in common?
A. They both like a tight seal.

Q. W hat do a Christmas tree and priest have in common?
A. Their balls are just for decoration.

Q. What is the difference between " ooooooh"and "aaaaaaah"?
A. About three inches.

Q. Why do gay men wear ribbed condoms?
A. For traction in the mud.

Q: What's the difference between purple and pink?
A. The grip.

Q. How do you find a blind man in a nudist colony?
A. It's not hard.

Q: How do you circumcise a hillbilly?
A: Kick his sister in the jaw.

Q: What's the difference between a girlfriend and a wife?
A: 45 pounds.

Q: What's the difference between a boyfriend and a husband?
A: 45 minutes.

Q: Why do men find it difficult to make eye contact?
A: Breasts don't have eyes.

Q: If the dove is the bird of peace, what is the bird of true love?
A. The swallow.

Q: What is the difference between medium and rare?
A: Six inches is medium, eight inches is rare.

Q. Why do women rub their eyes when they get up in the morning?
A. They don't have balls to scratch!

Exactly One Month Today.

Hey Y'all,

Today, July 4Th made it excalty one month since i last posted.

I went away on a well deserved vacation and returned to Nigeria on the 27Th of June and since then i have been catching up on work.

I have plenty of gist to give but i won't tell...., at least not yet, lol.

To SET, Nyemoni, LurLar, Chidi and all those that were worried about my long absence, thanks for ur concern, but i am fine, in fact, i am more than Fine, i am VERY HAPPY.

Will give more gist about that later as well.

Will be off to South Africa for a week on Friday, so may not be able to blog much before then, but i promise i will blog more when i return.

Thanks All.

Kisses.

Youngest Mother in the World till date.

SHOCKER!!!
A 5 year old girl from Peru, named Lina Medina is the youngest mother ever! The Peruvian girl from the Andean village of Ticrapo live with her parents… Lina’s parents initially thought their daughter had a large abdominal tumor… but Lina was eventually transferred to a hospital in Lima, where she delivered a six-pound baby boy by Cesarean section on 14 May 1939.(Coincidentally,the day on which Mother's day was celebrated). Lina’s father was temporarily jailed on suspicion of incest, but he was released for a lack of evidence and authorities were never able to determine who fathered Lina’s child.

Lina first came to the attention of Dr. Gerado Lozada, chief physician of the hospital of Piso,when she came to the hospital on the evaluation of an abdominal tumour. But it soon became obvious to the stunned physician thet the girl was pregnant. A medical histroy revealed that she had being having regular menstruation since the age 3 but had stopped menstruating for the past 7 1/2 months. Additionally, she had fully developed breast and further examination revealed a fetal heartbeat and an xray confrimed the pregnancy.

Jose Sandoval, an obstetrician who took an interest in Lina Medina’s case and authored a book about her in 2002 said that Lina was a psychologically normal child, that she displayed no other unusual medical symptoms, and that she preferred playing with dolls rather than her own child.
I read this article and was stunned. A lot of people didn't believe it to be true even though the girl's picture was published. Some thought it was Kwashiorkor, while others thought it was Fetus in Fetu, when a twin gtes trpeped inside another twin.
The picture on the right is the picture of Lina and her son Gerado whom she named after the doctor. Gerado died in 1979 from a bone marrow infection , but Lina had another son with her husband in 1972. Lina now lives with her husband in Mexico.

It is really amazing.

This is the link to the original story. Read more: http://www.snopes.com/pregnant/medina.asp

Then there is 10year old Gladys Chelagat from Kenya, holding her baby who weighs 2.8kg at Kericho district hospital in Kenya. She was a former pupil of Chemamul Primary School. She had her baby through Caeserian Operation.

CONFESSIONS

Box Donation

A married Irishman went into the confessional and said to his priest, "I almost had an affair with another woman."

The priest said, "What do you mean, almost?"

The Irishman said, "Well, we got undressed and rubbed together, but then I stopped."

The priest said, "Rubbing together is the same as putting it in. You're not to see that woman again. For your penance, say five Hail Mary's and put $50 in the poor box."

The Irishman left the confessional, said his prayers, and then walked over to the poor box.

He paused for a moment and then started to leave.

The priest, who was watching, quickly ran over to him saying, "I saw that. You didn't put any money in the poor box!"

The Irishman replied, "Yeah, but I rubbed the $50 on the box, and according to you, that's the same as putting it in!"

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Lemon Squeeze.

There once was a religious young woman who went to Confession.
Upon entering the confessional, she said, "Forgive me, Father, for I have sinned."
The priest said, "Confess your sins and be forgiven."

The young woman said, "Last night my boyfriend made mad, passionate love to me seven times."

The priest thought long and hard and then said, "Squeeze seven lemons into a glass and then drink the juice."

The young woman asked, "Will this cleanse me of my sins?"

The priest said, "No, but it will wipe that smile off of your face."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Looks of Disappointment

A man was just waking up from anesthesia after surgery, and his wife was sitting by his side. His eyes fluttered open and he said, "You're beautiful." Then he fell asleep again.

His wife had never heard him say that before, so she stayed by his side. A few minutes later his eyes fluttered open and he said, "You're cute."

The wife was disappointed because instead of "beautiful," it was now"cute."

She asked, "What happened to beautiful?"

The man replied, "The drugs are wearing off."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Catholic Dog

Muldoon lived alone in the Irish countryside with only a pet dog for company. One day the dog died, and Muldoon went to the parish priest and asked, "Father, my dog is dead. Could ya' be saying' a mass for the poor creature?"

Father Patrick replied, "I'm afraid not; we cannot have services for an animal in the church. But there are some Baptists down the lane, and there's no tellin' what they believe. Maybe they'll do something for the creature."

Muldoon said, "I'll go right away Father. Do ya' think $5,000 is enough to donate to them for the service?"

Father Patrick exclaimed, "Sweet Mary, Mother of Jesus! Why didn't ya tell me the dog was Catholic
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Donation

Father O'Malley answers the phone. "Hello, is this Father O'Malley?"

"It is!"

"This is the Tax Dept. Can you help us?"

"I can!"

"Do you know a Ted Houlihan?"

"I do!"

"Is he a member of your congregation?"

"He is!"

"Did he donate $10,000 to the church?"

"He will."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Confession

An elderly man walks into a confessional. The following conversation ensues:

Man: "I am 92 years old, have a wonderful wife of 70 years, many children, grandchildren, and great grandchildren. Yesterday, I picked up two college girls, hitchhiking. We went to a motel, where I had sex with each of them three times."

Priest: "Are you sorry for your sins?"

Man: "What sins?"

Priest: "What kind of a Catholic are you?"

Man: "I'm Jewish."

Priest: "Why are you telling me all this?"

Man: "I'm 92 years old .... I'm telling everybody!"

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Brothel Trip

An elderly man goes into a brothel and tells the madam he would like a young girl for the night. Surprised, she looks at the ancient man and asks how old he is.

"I'm 90 years old," he says.

"90!" replies the woman. "Don't you realize you've had it?"

"Oh, sorry," says the old man. "How much do I owe you?"

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Senility

An elderly man went to his doctor and said, "Doc, I think I'm getting senile. Several times lately, I have forgotten to zip up."

"That's not senility," replied the doctor. "Senility is when you forget to zip down."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Pest Control

A woman was having a passionate affair with an inspector from a pest-control company. One afternoon they were carrying on in the bedroom together when her husband arrived home unexpectedly.

"Quick," said the woman to the lover,"into the closet!" and she pushed him in the closet, stark naked.

The husband, however, became suspicious and after a search of the bedroom discovered the man in the closet.

"Who are you?" he asked him.

"I'm an inspector from Bugs-B-Gone," said the exterminator.

"What are you doing in there?" the husband asked.

"I'm investigating a complaint about an infestation of moths," the man replied.

"And where are your clothes?" asked the husband.

The man looked down at himself and said, "Those little bastards!"

The New Face of Cars in 2008

Lamboghini

Aston Martin. V8 Vantage N24 . This year Ford sold Aston martin to a group of business men for $900 Million. This here is a racing version of its V8 Vantage called the N24, based on the V8 Vantage that competed in the Nürburgring 24-hour endurance race—hence the name. We dont know if any changes will be made to Aston Martin by its new owners.
2008 Cadillac CTS.
The CTS continues to advance the design language for GM’s premium brand into the 2008 model year. With smoothed edges and a sculpted hood, the new CTS gets a larger grille inspired by the Cadillac Sixteen concept from a few years ago. The 2008 CTS is two inches wider, which gives the new model a more planted look as well as making room for an all-wheel drive version. The interior has been completely redone with a new center stack, instrument panel and seats that incorporate a “thin seat” technology that provides more usable space. Additional use of LED for ambient lighting provides a dramatic effect.


2008 BMW M3

After much anticipation among the motoring enthusiast crowd, the next generation of BMW’s legendary M3 has finally been revealed. And for the first time in its 15-year history the M3 will get V8 power. Under the bulging hood will lurk a 4.0-liter V8 engine producing 420 horsepower and 295 lb-ft of torque, teamed with a 6-speed manual transmission rather than the controversial sequential manual gearbox (SMG). BMW claims 0-62 mph in 4.8 seconds with a governed top speed of 155 mph. The bold fender flares, air intakes, side sills and discreet rear spoiler will help differentiate the M3 from the standard 3-Series. The M3 will also be the first in the segment with a carbon fiber reinforced roof for greater rigidity and a lower center of gravity.

2008 Bentley Brooklands

The Brooklands—named for the British racetrack that celebrates its 100th anniversary this year—is a traditional Bentley touring coupe. Under this impressive vehicle's very long hood resides the most powerful V8 engine ever from Bentley. The twin-turbocharged 6.75-liter V8 pumps out 530 horsepower and an amazing 775 lb-ft of torque which should move this car along at an exhilarating pace. As expected, the Brooklands boasts a sumptuous interior with the highest quality leather and wood trim. Only 550 will ever be built.

2008 Buick LaCrosse Super.
The LaCrosse Super gets a unique waterfall-style grille, a new front fascia, larger exhaust tips, and unique interior trim accents and features.

2008 Audi S5

The 2008 model year began with a bang when the German automaker revealed its first-ever supercar at the 2006 Paris Motor Show. The all-new 2008 R8 sports a 420-horsepower 4.2-liter aluminum V8 engine located just behind the driver. The R8 achieves 62mph in less than five seconds. And it's no surprise that power goes to all four wheels via the company’s legendary quattro all-wheel-drive system. The R8 arrives later this year, priced around $130,000. For something a little more down to earth, later this year Audi will come to market with the all-new A5 coupe and its more powerful sibling, the S5. With Audi's signature trapezoidal grille, the new 4-seat coupes fit into the lineup between the A4 / S4 and the A6 / S6. Audi has also redesigned its iconic TT coupe and roadster. A difficult vehicle to redesign given its unique styling, Audi has done an excellent job evolving the look while keeping the TT completely recognizable. Available, of course, with quattro all-wheel drive, the TT gets its motivation from either a 200-horsepower 2.0-liter engine or a 250-horsepower V6.

Hey Everyone, Urs truly made it on BBC Breaking News.

I was quoted by BBC on its Breaking News on Yar'Adua's Inauguration. I saw it on Ugo's Daniles blog and followed his link to the story. I was so excited when i saw my name and part of my post on the News. I was more excited when i saw my name underneath Yar' Adua's picture. Yay!!!!!!!!! Small me,on BBC Breaking News. E no easy jo!!! I tried to post it the way Ugo Daniels posted his but couldnt. Lol. I am still learning. Pls follow this link to read more and see more pics. Yay!!!!!!!!! I am on the news..http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/africa/6701559.stm
Last Updated: Tuesday, 29 May 2007, 16:34
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Printable version
Nigerian bloggers mount campaign
As Umaru Yar'Adua is ushered in as president of Nigeria, the BBC News website looks at a campaign mounted by Nigerian bloggers to express their disappointment at recent political events and the April elections.
Solomonsydelle on Nigerian Curiosity called on the Nigerian blogosphere to make a statement about Yar'Adua's inauguration.
"My people, let us join together to show our rulers and leaders that we are watching, that they are accountable to the people and that we will not let them forget." ...continued on the link.

The Nigeria Proclamation reads in part:
"In recent history, Nigerians have been overwhelmingly betrayed by those charged with addressing their needs. Instead of serving the people, public servants have served themselves to the detriment of the masses. The result is a nation lacking adequate infrastructure, organization and security.
Several Nigerian bloggers took up Solomonsydelle's challenge.

One of them - Omodudu - describes himself as "an economist with Nigeria on the brain".
He praises Solomonsydelle's initiative as "a one of a kind opportunity for bloggers in the Nigerian blogspace to make a mark" and noted that blogs could one day become a voice for the Nigerian people.
"Let us speak with one voice. Let us make demands," Omodudu implored.
"A wise man once said that evil triumphs when good men do nothing," Olawunmi began a posting on his Silent Storms in an Ocean of One.
Blogging from the UK, Olawunmi confessed that his first reaction to the Nigerian Proclamation was one of scepticism, but he soon realised its value.
"It's not only to call for action, but to remind us (you and I), what is wrong, so that we can watch out for it in future and seize the opportunity to fight it any way we can," he wrote.... continued on the link.
'Cheating referee'
Not all Nigerian bloggers are supportive of the campaign.
Commenting on Ugo's Nigerian Blogger in Cyprus , Donzman doubts the campaign will achieve much.
"Pardon my cynicism, but if this rises to the top of Google search, then what? Google will evict Yar'Adua from Aso Rock with missiles painted in the different colours of the rainbow?," poses Donzman - a contributor to Lagos blog!.
"What exactly do you expect to achieve, for Yar'Adua to type 'Nigeria' into his Google search bar, see all the complaints and proceed to pack his bags?"
Chxta of Chxta's World , also commenting on Ugo's blog, suggested that the campaign was coming a bit late in the day.
"Pardon my cynicism, but isn't it a little too late for this? Where were we when the events that led us to this pass were occurring?" Chxta wondered. continued on the link.

But some bloggers supported Mr Yar'Adua's victory and ascension to the presidency.
Vera Ikeji was elated about Mr Yar'Adua's inauguration.
"Yay!!!!," she exclaimed. "We have a new president.
Thy Glory O Nigeria!

New Nigerian President.Umaru Musa Yar'Adua

Yay!!!! We have a new President.
The new President Umaru Musa Yar Adua has being sworn in along with his Vice Dr. Goodluck Jonathan (GCON).
Alhaji Musa Yar'Adua(GCMR)Commamnder in chief of the arm forces was sworn in at the Eagles Square in Abuja, Nigeria today 29th May,2007.

The swearing in ceremony was done with all pomp and pageantry. There were some displays and stunts by the Nigerian Police Force, Some secondary school kids in Blue Uniforms came out in march past and formed words like UNITY, PEACE and DEMOCRACY FOREVER.
The broadcast was shown with the Nigerian Communications Satellite-1(NIGCOMSAT-1).
This is the first civilllian handover in the history of Nigeria and it was very peaceful.

New Poisonous Spider in the United States.

Three women in North Florida , turned up at hospitals over a 5-day period, all with the same symptoms. Fever, chills, and vomiting, followed by muscular collapse, paralysis, and finally, death.
There were no outward signs of trauma. Autopsy results showed toxicity in the blood.These women did not know each other, and seemed to have nothing in common.
It was discovered, however, that they had all visited the same Restaurant (Olive Garden) within days of their deaths.
The US health department descended on the restaurant, shutting it down. The food, water, and air conditioning were all inspected and tested, to no avail.
The big break came when a waitress at the restaurant was rushed to the hospital with similar symptoms.She told doctors that she had been on vacation, and had only went to the restaurant to pick up her check.
She did not eat or drink while she was there, but had used the restroom.
That is when one toxicologist, remembering an article he had read, drove out to the restaurant, went into the restroom, and lifted the toilet seat. Under the seat, out of normal view, was a small spider.
The spider was captured and brought back to the lab, where it was determined to be the Two-Striped Telamonia (Telamonia dimidiata), so named because of its reddened flesh color. This spider's venom is extremely toxic, but can take several days to take effect. They live in cold, dark, damp climates, and toilet rims provide just the right atmosphere.
Several days later a lawyer from Jacksonville showed up at a hospital emergency room. Before his death, he told the doctor, that he had been away on business, had taken a flight from Indonesia , changing planes in Singapore , before returning home. He did not visit (Olive Garden),while there.
He did, as did all of the other victims, have what was determined to be a puncture wound, on his right buttock.
Investigators discovered that the flight he was on had originated in India. The Civilian Aeronautics Board (CAB) ordered an immediate inspection of the toilets of all flights from India , and discovered the Two-Striped Telamonia (Telamonia dimidiata) spider's nests on 4 different planes!
It is now believed that these spiders can be anywhere in the country.
So please, before you use a public toilet, lift the seat to check for spiders.
It can save your life!
P.S.: I doubt if we have such spiders here in Africa,but If a solution isn't found quickly, they(The Westerners) will shift the blame on Africa and say the spider originated from here.
Then change it's name to 'African poisonous spider' or black poisonous spider. Like they have done with other diseases and ailments in the past. The first person that contracted HIV/AIDS was an European but AIDS first started in Africa, i wonder what the logic in that is.
Warning: the spider wasn't first discovered here in Africa O!

Na wa O!

Na wa O! I browsed through the net this afternoon looking for African entertainment News , but got no concrete result, some of the results i got were :'Sustainable Business Models To EndWorld Poverty. Learn More Today!' ,'Volunteer To Make A Difference!Eliminate Preventable Blindness','www.womensenews.org. Women change political landscape Sponsored by Carnegie Corporation' etc. but when i clicked on Entertainment news in Europe and USA, i got huuuuuge results respectively.
Na wa o!!!
Something has to be done to this Internet thingy and Africa o. No positive news can be found on Africa online. Haba!
I am working on it though!

A little joke to make u smile.

A young man moved into a new apartment of his own and went to the lobby to
put his name on his mailbox.
While there, an attractive young lady came out of the apartment next to
the mailboxes, wearing a robe.
The boy smiled at the young woman and she started a conversation with
him.
As they talked, her robe slipped open, and it was obvious that she had
nothing else on. The poor kid broke into a sweat trying to maintain eye
contact.
After a few minutes, she placed her hand on his arm and said, "Let's go
to my apartment, I hear someone coming."
He followed her into her apartment; she closed the door and leaned
against it, allowing her robe to fall off completely.
Now nude, she purred at him, "What would you say is my best feature?"
Flustered and embarrassed, he finally squeaked, "It's got to be your
ears."
Astounded, and a little hurt she asked, "My ears? Look at these
breasts; they are full and 100% natural. I work out every day and my butt is
firm and solid. Look at my skin - no blemishes anywhere.
How can you think that the best part of my body is my ears?"

Clearing his throat, he stammered .... "Outside, when you said you heard
someone coming/cuming.... that was me."

A 'cheat' in every crowd.

There is always a 'CHEAT' in every crowd.

If u notice, all the people with their heads raised are guys.

This guy masturbating is the worst cheat here.

A Book on Nigerian bloggers.

Nigerian bloggers Interested in having their profiles or stories on this book should should go to:http://laspapi.blogspot.com/search/label/NAIJA%20BLOGGERS-%20THE%20BOOK
The categories are anecdotes, short stories, poetry, prose, drama and essays but there is room for as many sub-categories as are sent in as the book will also serve as a platform where artistes can showcase architectural/interior/exterior designs, photography, paintings as well as fashion and textile designs.
All submissions must have been blogged on or before Monday the 14th of May 2007.
Bloggers may submit up to 5 entries on any topic or issue but no more than 3 works published.
For more information,pls go to:http://laspapi.blogspot.com/search/label/NAIJA%20BLOGGERS-%20THE%20BOOK

The effects of Nuclear Power.

This picture shows the horibble genetic mutations that can arise by exposure to the by products of nuclear power.

Oh my Gawd!!!

Beer Vs. Pussy

Beer Vs. Pussy: The Playoff
1. Beer is always wet. Pussy needs a little work. - One point to BEER
2. Warm beer tastes awful. - One point to Pussy
3. A really cold beer is satisfying. - One point to BEER
4. If after taking a swig of your favorite beer you find a hair between your teeth, you may vomit. - One point to Pussy
5. Ten beers in one night and you can't drive home. Ten Pussies in one night and you don't want to drive anywhere. - One point to Pussy
6. If you have a lot of beer in a public place, your reputation may suffer. If you eat any Pussy in public, you become a legend. - One point to Pussy
7. If a cop stops you and you smell of beer you may get arrested. If you smell of Pussy he may buy you a beer. - One point to Pussy
8. You normally don't find old beer. - One point to BEER
9. Too much beer and you'll think you see flying saucers. Too much Pussy and you'll think you've seen God. - One point to PUSSY
10. In most countries there's a tax on beer. - One point to PUSSY
11. If you have another beer the first one never gets pissed off - One point to BEER
12. You can always be sure if you're the first one to open a bottle or can. - One point to BEER
13. If you shake beer it'll get all agitated but it eventually it settles down. - One point to BEER
14. You always know how much beer is going to cost - One point to BEER
15. Beer doesn't have a mother - One point to BEER
16. Beer never expects to be hugged for half an hour after you've drank it - One point to BEER

FINAL SCORE: BEER 9, PUSSY 7.

That's it! The matter is settled, the clear winner is: BEERS.
If you are a woman and at this point feel angry, degraded or discriminated, just remember that Beer would experience none of those feelings, let alone express them. - An extra point for BEER! Lol.
This goes out to guys with nagging girl friends or wives. Lol.

Some of my favorite movies.

I have got a lot of favorite movies but just want to list a few in no particular order..

(1). YOU GOT SERVED.

(OMARION AND MARQUES HOUSTON). My all time favorite.

(2). 300. This is Spartaaaa!!!

(3). STOMP THE YARD.

(NEYO, CHRIS BROWN, COLOMBOS AND BEAUTIFU-L-L).

(4) 50 FIRST DATES.

(ADAM SANDLER AND DREW BARRYMORE).

(5). TROY.

(BRAD PITT AND ORLANDO BLOOM,i think).

(6).ONE DOLLAR.

(VICTOR OSUAGWU, PATIENCE(MAMA GEE) AND)

(7). I BELONG.

(OMOTOLA JALADE AND ADA AMEH)

(8). I AM IN LOVE.

(HANK ANUKU AND AKI N' UKWA)

(9). TERMINAL.

(TOM HANK)

(10).HOUSE OF WAX.

(PARIS HILTON).

(11.) PEACE MAKERS.

(EMEKA ENYIOCHA, EMEKA IKE AND BENITA NZERIBE)

To be continued, i need to go to bed now,

Oprah Winfrey and her Dad's Palaver.

Oprah Winfrey's dad, Vernon Winfrey has been writing a book about her behind her back(i don't know why that 'English' is used like that,if someone wants to do something behind u, would it be behind Ur front?lol.)anyways,she didn't know about this until her assistant approached her to tell her about it saying a reporter wanted to confirm it.
At first she denied it but was encouraged by her sister to ask their father who confirmed that he was indeed writing a book on her but was planning to tell her about it later.
Oprah isn't happy about this cos she always thought she was very close to her dad and expected that he would have told her about it first.
Anyway, whether he would publish the book or not,is what we don't know cos he's still writing it.
Everybody just wants to make money off writing a biography on her.
It's a family matter, let father and daughter settle it.

Another New Craze in Lagos.

Another fashion for young dudes and gals is buying a car. There are a lot of chicks and dudes who haven't got jobs but own cars. Its now like a competition. Hey!!! These people should take it easy o!
Girls as young as 18 and above and now aiming to buy their own cars while they are still in school studying with no jobs but because their friends have cars they want one too.
Wonders shall never seize.
I can name a few people(but wont), dancers, choreographers,jobless individuals etc. (they hardly ever get paid) who dance and choreograph just for the sake of popularity, but have 'hustled' one way or another to buy small Tokunbo/Nigerian used cars.
I don't know what these youths do to have money to buy these cars o, but some of us have an idea or two on how they can afford it. I wonder...mmmmm, i just wonder.
I have a car of my own but i have a job so can afford one.

Olusegun Obasanjo our president.

Our dear President (Baba Iyabo) is handing over to the new President on the 29th of May. He has helped this country grow in various ways that i can't mention.

The country has about 20 billion dollars in it's reserve now,mmmm.
He has recovered most of the money that former Head of State, Sanni Abacha embezzled. ( I wonder where the money is though).

Before 2001, only the wealthy could use Cell Phones, and very few people could afford Land phones. But in 2001, Baba Iyabo introduced GSM into the country and 6 years later, every Tom, Dick and Harry has a cell phone , even in the remotest part of every village.

He has brought a lot of investments into the country from foreign countries, and has cleared off most or all of the country's debts.

Brought in clean and honest people like, Dora Akunyili (NAFDAC), Ngozi Ezekwesili, Mallam Nuhu Ribadu(EFCC) and a lot of others into his cabinet and these people have helped sanitise the country a bit.

Now he is handing over on the 29Th of May to honest and trust worthy Men. I hope this country grows positively.mmmmmmmmm.

He has helped the country grow, i just don't know why the growth hasn't reached the common man yet. I just keep wondering.

Paddy

Paddy's pregnant sister was in a terrible car accident and went into a deep coma. After being in the coma for nearly six months, she wakes up and sees that she is no longer pregnant. Frantically, she asks the doctor about her baby.

The doctor replies, "Ma'am, you had twins; a boy and a girl! The babies are fine now, but they were poorly at birth and had to be christened immediately. Your brother came in and named them.."

The woman thinks to herself, "Oh suffering Jesus no, not mi' brother! He's a clueless git!" Expecting the worst, she asks the doctor, "Well, what's my daughter's name?""Denise," says the doctor.

The new mother is totally relieved. "To be sure, that's a beautiful name, I guess I was wrong about my brother. I like Denise."

Then she asks;"What's the boy's name?"

"Denephew"

My Chat Room.

Hey everybody!!!

I now have a chat room on my page where u can chat with whoever u want to and be whoever u want to be.

It's really very easy to use and if u are at work, (for those whose offices do not permit them to use yahoo/MSN messengers or their yahoo/MSN messengers have being disabled) u can chat wt friends without Ur boss being the wiser.

The Chat Room is at the bottom of this page and on the side bar.

I have checked other blogs and haven't seen any chat room on them, so like Stevo said, that makes me the first Nigerian blogger to have a chat room on her blog. Lol.

Happy Chatting!

Thank You SET.

SET, thanks for caring about my long absence but it has bn mainly work. I had to go out of town for an assignment and just got back yesterday. I was VERY VERY busy but i am now back in town.

I hope u are well.

Bad Timing for blog visits.

Bad day for blog visiting.

I went to a few blogs tonite but couldnt leave comments on posts i was interested in. Each time i clicked on the comment page and posted my comment, i got 'page cannot be displayed'.
SET, stop keeping us in suspense and tell us who this 'mysterious' guy is, lol.

Will try again from the office, during my lunch break. The fault could be from my server, here at home.

I succeded from the office. Then here again at home. The connection was a lot better here than yesterday, i guess it was because of yesterday's rain.
Anyway, will visit more as i go....

The Latest Craze in Lagos.

The latest fashion in Lagos for young girls these days is getting married to older Men, not just older men but divorced or married men.

Beautiful Ibidun Ajayi, former Miss Lux, as stunning as she looks, and as young as she is,ended up marrying a divorcee pastor,who already has grown up kids and is in his Early 50's. (He's a pastor,lol).
Sade Okoya got married to Razak Okoya, a few years ago but she was in her mid 20's when she got married to him while he was approaching his 63rd birthday.
Her husband already had 3 wives before she became his wife no. 4. (He's wealthy).
Beautiful half-caste, Caroline Ekanem and the man she has a baby for. Caroline is in her 20's while her Man, Musa Danjuma, is still married, in his 50's and is a lot older than her.(He's wealthy).

I have a friend Ngozi (not her real name) who is 26 and is currently married to a 52 year old man. (He's rich).

There's Princess (not her real name, but a friend of mine) who is 24 and is getting married to a 58 year old divorcee, whose youngest daughter is 31 years old. They would be getting married next month. (He's very rich).

Then Amah and Korede: These two pretty girls in their early 20's had promising careers in Music and Dancing respectively until Amah got pregnant and had a child for singer, OJB Jezreel, AKA Jigger. OJB is still married to his wife of several years and is in his early 40's, but didn't see nothing wrong in having extra marital affairs. Amah, who was happy to be wife N0.2 has received a shocker as Korede(professional dancer) who is in her 20's and a bit younger than Amah is currently carrying Jigger's child.
What goes around, comes around. lol.

If these girls were in their late 30's, fine, i would say OK, perhaps they got married cos they were getting too old to choose, but ,heck, these are young, beautiful girls. And this is the 21st century.

In the US, it's the young guys dating or marrying their mother's or older sister's age mates.
What happened to people dating others in their age group or girls dating/marrying men few years older or 10 years(for those who like older guys) older than them?

There are so many unknown young girls here in Lagos who are married to much older guys but i wont include their names cos they ain't celebrities. (People won't relate to them).
Will add more names to the list as i remember them.

Blog Visiting.

I am going blog visitng this night. What this means is that, i will go to my sister's blog (lindaikeji.blogspot.com) and visit as many blogs on her list as i can.
I have bn to a couple of blogs, like SET's, Nyemoni, Chidi, Diary of a G, Stella Damasus', Stella Dimoko-Korkus, Kunle Juba, BellaNaija, Naijagal, NairaLand, Raquelle-cutie and a few others.
But tonight i will visit a lot more cos I want to see what other bloggers write about.