Church Analytics

Friday, June 27, 2008

Wedding of the century

What's up with all the trash, someone should have at least cleared it up!

Okay, what's up with the grrom's attire? He didn't even have the decency to button all up! Gee!!Okay, is that her daddy on the left and her grandfather on the right? I mean, people are having kids early these days but, come on! I am going to need clamps to close the shirt up... And where in the world did these shirts come from any way and what made them think they screamed 'Wedding Attire? lol.What's up with the dining room chairs here? Mmmmm.....I see some folks decided not to follow the dress code of all white. Thank goodness! Okkkkk....WHAT IS THIS ABOUT? Ok, aside from the stomach peeking out, who told this 'queen' that was a wedding dress? Heck, who told her it even matched? And why the heck are they standing so far away from each other?...maybe it's the stomach.Poor girls!! Why are they forcing these cute kids to go through this? lol. What do you think the little girl is thinking now? 'Momma, why you make me do this?' (Looks like the groom is thinking the same thing!)
Gee, say 'cheese' guys. Everyone looks so bored. Cheer up guys, everything is gonna be alright...or not !!! Lol.
Did he cut her leg with his sunglasses? Must have bumped into her mouth and knocked her tooth out too. At least she shaved her legs and had a pedicure on her big toe! Oh, peep the cell phone hanging from his shirt. Is he expecting a the middle of his wedding reception???!!! WTF??? lol.
See the missing teeth and bruise? Maybe this picture is for the police when she files her domestic battery report.
Okay, these sunglasses get around. Plastic cups and straws that bend for everybody - even the bride! We won't try to guess what's in the cup, but you can bet it's not red Kool-aid! I would comment on the bride's friend in the picture, but I just don't have the heart. That must be Shaquisha...Lord, help 'em!
To top it all off is this.......things they call cake. lol. Martha Stewart, Betty Crocker, Duncan Hines: somebody - anybody - HELP!!! Can't nobody be proud of this! Did we run out of time to frost the cakes? Did we not have the same shape pans to do all three? And why in the world would you put those things on a cake tier? I hope there's some milk around to wash it down!


ibiluv said...


for real????


Anonymous said...

Sweetie, this is how our wedding is going to be....ROTFLMAO!!!!!! Don't you want a traditional American Ghetto Wedding?

I love you Vera!


Anonymous said...

Compared to some of the weddings I've been to, this shindig is a royal affair

Anonymous said...

Oh Lord!
This is my dream wedding! :D

Anonymous said...

u're harsh.

yes it is ghetto but isn't a wedding ultimately a celebration of love btw 2 ppl? if that's the way they want it or if that's what they can afford, who has the rite to judge them? Would u rather have them go borrowing money and end up in great debt just so they can have their wedding acceptable to the society?

As long as the couple is happy...

YankeeNaija said...

You now have me as a huge fan because of this segment. Where do you get these??? Highlarious (not hilarious cause it's much too funny). truly highlarious. You rock!

Vera Ikeji said...

Hey guys, thanks for ur comments. Very hilarious indeed! Lol.

kelechi said...

you folks have no right dissing dem people. its there wedding and they reserve d right to conduct it in any manner they find suitable. marriage is a celebration of love and not a mini fashion show some people have turned it into.

they look happy and dat is all dat matter.

mag duru said... this in US or elsewhere..coz its lacking alittle bit here n there! LOL

Anonymous said...

Vera - Have you seen the trash in Oshodi, Onitsha, Festac, Agunjele, even in VI? And that's an everyday environmental hazard. So instead of poking fun at poor black americans, why don't you go to the ghettos and outright slums of Nigeria (of which there are many throughout the country in case you VI-Ikoyi snob has forgotten) and document a wedding there. Maybe you will see someone defacating in the gutter right where the wedding is taking place. Nigerians like you are lame...can't fix your own f-ing country but have the guts to look down on other people. Real shame!

Anonymous said...

Vera - you are complete nonsense! Pls go document a wedding in the slums of lagos or really anywhere in Nigeria and you will find.

1. People wearing tattered clothing (because they are POOR)
2. People sitting on the trash ground because they don't even have the "ghetto dining room" chairs to sit on.
3. Bride wearing a mix-match of second-hand clothes that don't fit her
4. Kids who look so bored (and that's really every Nigerian event)
5. People missing all kinds of body parts, not just teeth (nne, the environment na harsh in naija in case you've forgotten)
6. weeks-old cake that are as hard as a rock
7. plastic cups with fire ants crawling all over them.

My dear, get a life and try to do something to help poverty not just make fun of it.

Vera Ikeji said...

@ last anonymous:
Get a life! was just having a laugh. I am sorry if i touched a soft spot of urs. It's a pity ur wedding was similar to theirs (the couple in the picture) or comprised of the list u made above. It's a shame though, but life will always be hard for people like u who have no sense of humor. Shame. said...

love na love sha, ultimately!

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