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Sunday, July 29, 2007

Gists.

Paris Hilton wanna-be, Nicole Richie has been sentenced to 4days in jail for D.U.I. She should get prison survival tips from her pal, Paris. I don't think she will need it though cos her stay in jail is very temporary. She is seen in this picture with her fiancee entering the court house.



EDDY MURPHY AND TRACEY EDMUNDS.


Eddy has proposed to his girlfriend of 10months,Tracey Edmunds....ummmmm, i don't know what to make of this.


The guy divorced his wife who had 5 of his children, abandoned his girlfriend when she was pregnant and denied the paternity of the child, (a DNA result showed he was the father) and now he wants to marry again? He proposed to Tracey with a huge 8carat gold ring but i she should think 2ce before making such a HUGE decision with him.
If he can abandon his girlfriend and unborn baby in a dire time, think what he would do to her(Tracey) when he meets another girl.



Shame on me, but i am very glad that Usher has cancelled his wedding to his aunt,Tameka Foster. lol.
His publicist announced that the wedding has been cancelled but gave no reason. That woman(Tameka Foster has caused nothing but trouble for the poor lad. She severed the wonderful relationship Usher had with his mum, severed the relationship he had with his godfather Ben Vereen, and in May severed ties with his publicist of nine years, Simon Smalls.

Trapped him with pregnancy, that conniving *****.

That woman has given him nothing but trouble. He doesn't know it cos he is emotionally involved with her so he is blind to all her wahala, but we know cos we aren't. We see her for what she is.


I am waiting to hear that pathetic girl's fate, Lindsay Lohan. I am so so so disappointed in the way she has chosen to live her life. I watched her movies from when she was a child and really thought she was going to end up living like a responsible adult when she grew up but that was not to be.


At the end of the day though, it's her life. If she wants to ruin it...so be it.


Whatever makes anyone happy.

MEXICAN JEWS, MUY BUENO!!!

Two Jewish men, Sid and Al, were sitting in a Mexican restaurant. Sid asked Al, 'Are there any people of our faith born and raised in Mexico ?' Al replied, 'Idon't know, let's ask our waiter.'
When the waiter came by, Al asked him, 'Are there any Mexican Jews?' and the waiter said, 'I don't know Senor, I'll ask the cooks.'
He returned from the kitchen in a few minutes and said 'No sir, no Mexican Jews.'
Al wasn't really satisfied with that and asked, 'Are you absolutely sure?'
The waiter, realizing he was dealing with 'Gringos' gave the expected answer, 'I will check again, Senor!' and went back into the kitchen.
While the waiter was away, Sid said, 'I find it hard to believe that there are no Jews in Mexico , our people are scattered everywhere.'
The waiter returned and said 'Senor, the head cook said there is no Mexican Jews.'
'Are you certain?' Al asked once again. 'I can't believe there are no Mexican Jews!'

'Senor, I ask EVERYONE,' replied the exasperated waiter, 'All we have isOrange Jews, Prune Jews, Tomato Jews, and Grape Jews.'

Thursday, July 26, 2007

Masturbating Vs. Cheating.

I read a post on my sister's blog, http://lindaikeji.blogspot.com/, on 'Faking Orgasm' and i thought to myself. Why do females fake it? The answer is simple... So that guys can get it over with.
She also talked female circumcision and circumcised girls not reaching orgasm or enjoying sex. I am circumcised and i ENJOY SEX a lot, not just that, i reach orgasm about 85% of the time. Enjoying sex and being circumcised are 2 very different things and one has nothing to do with the other.
A friend of mine once said circumcised girls are supposed to have a better opportunity to enjoy sex and reach orgasm more be cos the rubbish flesh has being cut off thereby making a girl's clit. more sensitive.
Now back to my topic.
Masturbation according to 'Sheri and Bob Stritof' is sexual stimulation (not intercourse) that produces an orgasm. They also say many physicians believe masturbation to be a normal, natural activity that most people engage in throughout their life.

Now what is Cheating in a relationship? Lol. I think cheating is lying and deceiving Ur partner. Sometimes our relationships are not as straight forward as we want them to be but we have a choice a either staying in a loveless relationship or walking away from it.

Very few Africans masturbate, they think it's devilish or whatever..... to me that's bullshit!!!
No one knows Ur body as much as u do, u know the right place to touch, how to stimulate Ur organ to get that amazing orgasm u crave for. So why not?

Anyways, what will u prefer, have a partner who masturbates when u are not there for them or have a partner who cheats?

Check out this site for advise on how to deal with Ur cheating partner, http://dir.yahoo.com/Society_and_Culture/Relationships/Cheating/?skw=what+is+cheating+in+relationships%3F

Tuesday, July 24, 2007

Proud To Be White.

I am BLACK AND PROUD...lol but saw this mail and decidedc to share it. U will see why i laughed after i said 'I am black and Proud'. Read on...

Someone finally said it.
How many are actually paying attention to this?

*There are African Americans, Mexican Americans,Asian Americans, Arab Americans, Native Americans, etc. And then there are just Americans.
You pass me on the street and sneer in my direction. You Call me "White boy," "Cracker," " Honkey," "Whitey," "Caveman" .. And that's OK.
But when I call you, Nigger, Kike, Towel head, Sand-nigger, Camel Jockey,Beaner, Gook, or Chink ... You call me a racist.
*You say that whites commit a lot of violence against you, So why are the ghettos the most dangerous places to live?
*You have the United Negro College Fund.
*You have Martin Luther King Day.
*You have Black History Month.
*You have Cesar Chavez Day.
*You Have Yom Hashoah
*You have Ma'uled Al- Nabi
*You have the NAACP
*You have BET.
*If we had WET (White Entertainment Television) ...We'd be racists.
*If we had a White Pride Day ...You would call us racists.-
*If we had White History Month...We'd be racists.
*If we had any organization for only whites to "advance" OUR lives...We'd be racists.

*We have a Hispanic Chamber of Commerce,a Black Chamber of Commerce..
And then we just have the plain Chamber of Commerce. Wonder who pays for that?
*If we had a college fund that only gave white students scholarships... You know we'd be racists.

*There are over 60 openly proclaimed Black Colleges in the US , Yet if there were "White colleges" ...THAT would be a racist college.

*In the Million Man March, you believed that you were marching for your race and rights.
*If we marched for our race and rights...You would call us racists.
*You are proud to be black, brown, yellow and orange, and you're Not afraid to announce it. But when we announce our white pride ...You call us racists.
*You rob us, car jack us, and shoot at us.But, when a white police officer shoots a black gang member or beats up a black drug-dealer running from the law and posing a threat to society ...You call him a racist.

I am proud...But, you call me a racist....Why is it that only whites can be racists?

That is the end of the moaning. Lol.

Please can anyone answer this question?

Mujibar.

Mujibar was trying to get a job in India .

The Personnel Manager said, "Mujibar, you have passed all the tests, except one. Unless you pass it you cannot qualify for this job."

Mujibar said, "I am ready."

The manager said, "Make a sentence using the words Yellow, Pink and Green."
Mujibar thought for a few minutes and said, "Mister manager, I am ready"

The manager said, "Go ahead."

Mujibar said, "The telephone goes green, green, and I pink it up, and say, 'Yellow', this is Mujibar."

Mujibar now works as a technician at a call center for computer problems.

Be careful when consuming too much beer!!

Beer contains female hormomones.
The National University of Lesotho scientists released the results of a recent analysis that revealed the presence of female hormones in beer.
Men should take a concerned look at their beer consumption. The theory is that beer contains female hormones (hops contain phytoestrogens) and that by drinking enough beer, men turn into women.
To test the theory, 100 men drank 8 pints of beer each within a 1 hour period. It was then observed that 100% of the test subjects:
1) Argued over nothing.
2) Refused to apologize when obviously wrong.
3) Gained weight.
4) Talked excessively without making sense.
5) Became overly emotional.
6) Couldn't drive.
7) Failed to think rationally.
8) Had to sit down while urinating.

No further testing was considered necessary.

Thursday, July 5, 2007

RISQUÉ RIDDLES

Q. What is the difference between a drug dealer and a hooker?
A. A hooker can wash her crack and sell it again.

Q. What's a mixed feeling?
A. When you see your mother-in-law backing off a cliff in your new car.

Q. What's the height of conceit?
A. Having an orgasm and calling out your own name.

Q. What's the definition of macho?
A. Jogging home from your vasectomy.

Q. What's the difference between a G-spot and a golf ball?
A. A guy will actually search for a golf ball

Q.Why is divorce so expensive?
A. Because it's worth it!

Q.What is a Yankee?
A. The same as a quickie, but a guy can do it alone.

Q. What do Tupperware and a walrus have in common?
A. They both like a tight seal.

Q. W hat do a Christmas tree and priest have in common?
A. Their balls are just for decoration.

Q. What is the difference between " ooooooh"and "aaaaaaah"?
A. About three inches.

Q. Why do gay men wear ribbed condoms?
A. For traction in the mud.

Q: What's the difference between purple and pink?
A. The grip.

Q. How do you find a blind man in a nudist colony?
A. It's not hard.

Q: How do you circumcise a hillbilly?
A: Kick his sister in the jaw.

Q: What's the difference between a girlfriend and a wife?
A: 45 pounds.

Q: What's the difference between a boyfriend and a husband?
A: 45 minutes.

Q: Why do men find it difficult to make eye contact?
A: Breasts don't have eyes.

Q: If the dove is the bird of peace, what is the bird of true love?
A. The swallow.

Q: What is the difference between medium and rare?
A: Six inches is medium, eight inches is rare.

Q. Why do women rub their eyes when they get up in the morning?
A. They don't have balls to scratch!

Wednesday, July 4, 2007

Exactly One Month Today.

Hey Y'all,

Today, July 4Th made it excalty one month since i last posted.

I went away on a well deserved vacation and returned to Nigeria on the 27Th of June and since then i have been catching up on work.

I have plenty of gist to give but i won't tell...., at least not yet, lol.

To SET, Nyemoni, LurLar, Chidi and all those that were worried about my long absence, thanks for ur concern, but i am fine, in fact, i am more than Fine, i am VERY HAPPY.

Will give more gist about that later as well.

Will be off to South Africa for a week on Friday, so may not be able to blog much before then, but i promise i will blog more when i return.

Thanks All.

Kisses.