Church Analytics

Friday, May 30, 2008

Dating rituals

WHITE WOMEN
First date: You get to kiss her goodnight.
Second date: You get to grope all over and make out.
Third date : You get to have sex, but only in the missionary position.

IRISH WOMEN
First Date: You both get blind drunk and have sex..
Second Date: You both get blind drunk and have sex..
20th Anniversary: You both get blind drunk and have sex..

ITALIAN WOMEN
First Date: You take her to a play and an expensive restaurant.
Second Date: You meet her parents and her Mom makes spaghetti and meatballs.
Third Date: You have sex, she wants to marry you and insists on a 3-carat ring.
5th Anniversary: You already have 5 kids together and hate the thought of having sex.
6th Anniversary: You find yourself a girlfriend.

JEWISH WOMEN
First Date: You get dynamite oral sex.
Second Date: You get more oral sex.
Third Date: You tell her you'll marry her and never get oral sex again.

CHINESE WOMEN
First date: You get to buy her an expensive dinner, but nothing happens.
Second date: You buy her an even more expensive dinner. Nothing happens again.
Third date: You don't even get to the third date and you already realized nothing is going to happen.

INDIAN WOMEN
First date: Meet her parents.
Second date: Set the date of the wedding.
Third date: Wedding night.

BLACK WOMEN
First Date: You get to buy her a real expensive dinner.
Second Date: You get to buy her and her girlfriends a real expensive dinner.
Third Date: You get to pay her rent.
Tenth Date: She's pregnant by someone other than you.

MEXICAN WOMEN
First Date: You buy her an expensive dinner, get drunk on Tequila, and have sex in the back of her car.
Second Date: She's pregnant.
Third Date: She moves in. One week later ~ her mother, father, his girlfriend, her two sisters, her brother, all of their kids, her grandma, her father's girlfriend's mother, her two cousins, her sister's boyfriend and his three kids move in and you live on rice and beans for the rest of your life in your home that used to be nice, but now looks like a home along the Rio Grande.

The POINT? DON'T YOU JUST LOVE IRISH WOMEN? Ha ha ha.

8 comments:

The Pseudo-Independent said...

you naughty girl...great post

SET said...

lol, this is funny. you post the most random jokes.

tankojjetty said...

vera...
i cant just stop coming over, abi u dey use jazz...
anyways nice content, lovely stories...
good pictures...of u?
when are u going to update us on stuff...
and by the way, ur locator shows u as been in the ocean...lol

Anonymous said...

bet this was done by an Irishman and u put it up. not sure why.

Anonymous said...

yep, probably done by an Irishman... and what nationality is WHITE WOMEN? And that thing it says they only kiss on the first night is bs.

Vera Ikeji said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Anonymous said...

I prefer the Nigerian women. THE PHANTOM

Anonymous said...

I prefer the Nigerian women. THE PHANTOM