Usain Bolt

Amazng Usain Bolt smashed the 100 meters world record on Sunday 15th August 2009, in Berlin.



Bolt improved the 100m world record to 9.58 seconds to win his first World Championship gold medal in what was the largest ever margin of improvement in the 100m world record since the beginning of electronic timing. Is he human? Wow the guy is soooo....Cant find the proper word to decribe him with.

Pete Edochie kidnapped

I was shocked when I heard Pete Edochie, 'Ebube-Dike', 'Okonkwo' (Things Fall apart) had been kidnapped. I quickly went online to confirm the story and alas, Vanguard newspaper confirmed it.

Our own veteran. Na wa o! What is going on in our own beloved country?

I undertsnad his son, Uche Edochie confirmed that his father was being driven from his country home in Enugu in the company of his family members when armed men stopped the car he was travelling in.



For more info, please read: www.vanguardngr.com/2009/08/16/pete-edochie-kidnapped/comment-page-5/

Be careful what you wish for

I love this tale!!! It's a clear case of 'Be careful what you wish for', lol.

A man was sick and tired of going to work every day while his wife stayed home.

He wanted her to see what he went through so he prayed:
'Dear Lord:

I go to work every day and put in 8 hours while my wife merely stays at home.

I want her to know what I go through.

So, please allow her body to switch with mine for a day.
Amen!' !

God, in his infinite wisdom, granted the man's wish.

The next morning, sure enough, the man awoke as a woman.

He arose, cooked breakfast for his mate,
Awakened the kids,

Set out their school clothes,

Fed them breakfast,

Packed their lunches,

Drove them to school,

Came home and picked up the dry cleaning,

Took it to the cleaners

And stopped at the bank to make a deposit,

Went grocery shopping,

Then drove home to put away the groceries,

Paid the bills and balanced the check book.

He cleaned the cat's litter box and bathed the dog.

Then, it was already 1P.M.

And he hurried to make the beds,
Do the laundry, vacuum ,

Dust,

And sweep and mop the kitchen floor.!

Ran to the school to pick up the kids and got into an argument with them on the way home.

Set out milk and cookies and got the kids organized to do their homework.

Then, set up the ironing board and watched TV while he did the ironing.

At 4:30 he began peeling potatoes and washing vegetables for salad, breaded the pork chops and snapped fresh beans for supper.

After supper,
He cleaned the kitchen,

Ran the dishwasher,

Folded laundry,

Bathed the kids,

And put them to bed.

At 9 P..M .

He was exhausted and, though his daily chores weren't finished, he went to bed where he was expected to make love, which he managed to get through without complaint.

The next morning, he awoke and immediately knelt by the bed and said: -
'Lord, I don't know what I was thinking.

I was so wrong to envy my wife's being able to stay home all day.

Please, oh! Oh! Please, let us trade back.

Amen!'

The Lord, in his infinite wisdom, replied:

'My son, I feel you have learned your lesson and I will be happy to change things back to the way they were.
You'll just have to wait nine months, though.

You got pregnant last night.'

Best Wedding Entrance Ever

This is the best wedding entrance I ever saw! I hope they have as much fun in their married lives as they had on their wedding day! Awesome!

Ladies and Gentlemen, I present Jill Peterson and Kevin Heinz...

Roger Federer and his wife Mirka welcome twin daughters

The world best Tennis player, King Roger Federer, announced to us, his fans on his facebook page, that his wife Mirka gave birth to two beautiful, healthy kids two nights ago in Switzerland. He said Mother and daughters are all doing great!



This were his exact words on Facebook,yesterday, : I have some exciting news to share with you: Late last night, in Switzerland, Mirka and I became proud parents of twin girls! We named them Myla Rose and Charlene Riva and they are both healthy and along with their mother, they are doing great. This is the best day of our lives!

Congratulations King, u now have two adorbale princesses to pamper and smother with Love.

New pictures of Lagos, Nigeria

The Lagos State Government has been doing well building good roads, expanding them and beautifying the streets of Lagos. There are several more pictures of beautiful Lagos but these are the ones I have so far.











I took some snapshots of the New look of Lagos before I left the country but I lost them somehow. I got these pictures from http://www.nigeriavillagesquare.com/articles/nvs/the-new-lagos-in-pictures-case-in-urban-ren.html U can check them out to view more pics of Lagos.

Evian live long advert

I couldn't stop laughing when I saw this advert on a friend's page on facebook.

Enjoy!

Matrix, Naija style

No be lie!!! Warri no dey carry last! lol.

Ol

Oyibo kids singing Yoruba ryhme

White woman singing Yoruba gospel songs

Amazing!!!

White man speaking pidgin

Oyibo from Colorado wey dey speak Hausa and pidgin. U go fear fear na! Lol. No be lie!!!

Little Johnny joke

Daddy's car in the woods?

Little Johnny watched his daddy's car pass by the school playground and go into the woods. Curious, he followed the car and saw Daddy and Aunt Jane in a passionate embrace.

Little Johnny found this so exciting that he could hardly contain himself as he ran home and started to tell his mother. "Mommy, I was at the playground and I saw Daddy's car go into the woods with Aunt Jane. I went back to look and he was giving Aunt Jane a big kiss, and then he helped her take off her shirt. Then Aunt Jane helped Daddy take his pants off, then Aunt Jane..."

At this point Mommy cut him off and said, "Johnny, this is such an interesting story, suppose you save the rest of it for supper time. I want to see the look on Daddy's face when you tell it tonight."

At the dinner table that evening, Mommy asked little Johnny to tell his story. Johnny started his story, "I was at the playground and I saw Daddy's car go into the woods with Aunt Jane. I went back to look and he was giving Aunt Jane a big kiss, then he helped her take off her shirt. Then Aunt Jane helped Daddy take his pants off, then Aunt Jane and Daddy started doing the same thing that Mommy and Uncle Bill used to do when Daddy was in the Navy."


Mommy fainted!

Moral: Sometimes you need to listen to the whole
story before you interrupt!

Diets

This Doctor was asked a couple of questions and these were his replies, lol. Check them out.

Q: Doctor, I've heard that cardiovascular exercise can prolong life. Is this true?
A: Your heart is only good for so many beats, and that's it... don't waste them on exercise. Everything wears out eventually. Speeding up your heart will not make you live longer; that's like saying you can extend the life of your car by driving it faster. Want to live longer? Take a nap.

Q: Should I cut down on meat and eat more fruits and vegetables?
A: You must grasp logistical efficiencies. What does a cow eat? Hay and corn. And what are these? Vegetables. So a steak is nothing more than an efficient mechanism of delivering vegetables to your system. Need grain? Eat chicken. Beef is also a good source of field grass (green leafy vegetable). And a pork chop can give you 100% of your recommended daily allowance of vegetable products.

Q: Should I reduce my alcohol intake?
A: No, not at all. Wine is made from fruit. Brandy is distilled wine, that means they take the water out of the fruity bit so you get even more of the goodness that way. Beer is also made out of grain. Bottoms up!

Q: How can I calculate my body/fat ratio?
A: Well, if you have a body and you have fat, your ratio is one to one. If you have two bodies, your ratio is two to one, etc.

Q: What are some of the advantages of participating in a regular exercise program?
A: Can't think of a single one, sorry. My philosophy is: No Pain...Good!

Q: Aren't fried foods bad for you?
A: YOU'RE NOT LISTENING!!! ..... Foods are fried these days in vegetable oil. In fact, they're permeated in it. How could getting more vegetables be bad for you?

Q: Will sit-ups help prevent me from getting a little soft around the middle?
A: Definitely not! When you exercise a muscle, it gets bigger. You should only be doing sit-ups if you want a bigger stomach.

Q: Is chocolate bad for me?
A: Are you crazy? HELLO Cocoa beans! Another vegetable!!! It's the best feel-good food around!

Q: Is swimming good for your figure?
A: If swimming is good for your figure, explain whales to me.

Q: Is getting in-shape important for my lifestyle?
A: Hey! 'Round' is a shape!

Well, I hope this has cleared up any misconceptions you may have had about food and diets.

And remember:
'Life should NOT be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in an attractive and well preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways - Chardonnay in one hand - chocolate in the other - body thoroughly used up, totally worn out and screaming 'WOO HOO, What a Ride'

AND.....

For those of you who watch what you eat, here's the final word on nutrition and health. It's a relief to know the truth after all those conflicting nutritional studies.

1. The Japanese eat very little fat and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.
2. The Mexicans eat a lot of fat and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.
3. The Chinese drink very little red wine and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.
4. The Italians drink a lot of red wine and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.
5. The Germans drink a lot of beer and eat lots of sausages and fats and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.


CONCLUSION

Eat and drink what you like. Speaking English is apparently what kills you. lol.

CONFESSION OF AN IJAW KID

Little Oyinkepreye came into the kitchen where his mother was making dinner.
His birthday was coming up and he thought this was a good time to tell his mother what he wanted.
"Mom, I want a bike for my birthday." Little Preye was a bit of a troublemaker.

He had gotten into trouble at school and at home.

Preye's mother asked him if he thought he deserved to get a bike for his birthday. Little Preye, of course, thought he did.

Preye's mother wanted Preye to reflect on his behavior over the last year.
"Go to your room, Preye, and think about how you have behaved this year.

Then write a letter to God and tell him why you deserve a bike for your birthday."

Little Preye stomped up the steps to his room and sat down to write God a letter.

Letter 1
Dear God, I have been a very good boy this year and I would like a bike for my birthday.
I want a red one.
Your friend,
Preye.

Preye knew that this wasn't true. He had not been a very good boy this year, so he tore up the letter and started over.

Letter 2
Dear God,
This is your friend Preye. I have been a good boy this year and I would like a red bike for my birthday.
Thank you.
Your friend Preye

Preye knew that this wasn't true either. So, he tore
up the letter and started again.

Letter 3
Dear God,
I have been an "OK "boy this year. I still would
really like a bike for my birthday.
Preye

Preye knew he could not send this letter to God either. So, Preye wrote a fourth letter.

Letter 4
God,
I know I haven't been a good boy this year. I am very sorry. I will be a good boy if you just send me a bike for my birthday.
Please!
Thank you,
Preye

Preye knew , even if it was true, this letter was not going to get him a bike.

Now, Preye was very upset. He went downstairs and told his mom that he wanted to go to church. Preye's mother thought her plan had worked, as Preye looked very sad.

"Just be home in time for dinner," Preye's mother told him.

Preye walked down the street to the church on the corner.
Little Preye went into the church and up to the altar. He looked around to see if anyone was there. Preye bent down and picked up a statue of the Mary. He slipped the statue under his shirt and ran out of the church, down the street, into the house, and up to his room. He shut the door to his room and sat down with a piece of paper and a pen. Preye began to write his letter to God.

Letter 5
God,

I'VE KIDNAPPED YOUR MAMA . IF YOU WANT TO SEE HER AGAIN, SEND THE BIKE!!!!!!!! !!

The hit man.

Preye

I know it's an old joke but still a clssic! lol.

Michael Jackson update

Update. 3:24pm. 26/6/09
Michael's family have been briefed with the autopsy report. Now the chief coroner is briefing the press on the result.
He said the cause of death has been deferred due to the fact that additional tests need to be done (Toxicology tests, etc), he said the result of this test will be in four to six weeks. He said there was no external trauma or foul play, however, the police are carrying out a private investigation as to what really happened. He also said prior to his death, Michael had no heart problem/condition but was on some prescription drugs.
Michael's body will be released to his family at 6pm today.
The name of the Cardiologist has now been revealed as Dr. Conrad Murray.

Update. 1:02pm. 26/06/09
According to the 911 tape that was just released, the Cardiologist was apparently there with Michael when he collapsed. He, had according to the 911 caller, had given him (Michael) CPR and some form of medical attention. When the dispatcher asked the 911 caller if anyone had seen what happened before Michael collapsed, the caller repeated the question to the Cardiologist who ignored the question and asked them to hurry.
The Cardiologist was the only person with Michael when he collapsed... before the 911 caller made the call.

Update 10:10am. 26/06/09
A cardiologist who had been treating Michael until recently is missing. His car, a silver BMW, which was parked in Michael's home has been impounded and towed by the Police because they think he may know why Michael had a Cardiac arrest. People are wondering why the Cardiologist hasn't showed up yet, wondering why he didn't go back to pick up his car and why he hasn't contacted the police yet.Update: 06/26/09. 8:00am
LA county Coroner said the autopsy (Toxicology and extensive exam) to Michael's death will begin in a few minutes. They want to find out why he had the cardiac arrest.

MJ's former attorney claim Michael had been abusing prescription drugs and warned him and his family about it but they ignored him.

A lot of people are mourning this music icon. People are gathered everywhere..Hollywood walk of fame, outside the UCLA Medical center, almost every store is playing his music. People are crying, P.Diddy couldn't believe it when he heard it yesterday, Beyonce was very touched, Cher, Donner Sommer, a lot of stars have been making comments about him on TV, it's unbelievable.

I wonder if he wrote a will. I wonder who will take custody of his kids? We know his ex-wife promised to have nothing to do with his 2 kids but what about the 3rd one,blanket? Since the identity of Blanket's mum is unknown, I guess....his Mom, Janet or...I dont know who, will take custody of his three kids.

Michael Jackson is dead!

Wow, it's.....I don't know what word to use. I was in bed when I got the message that Michael was dead. I jumped out of bed and quickly turned the TV on, and there it was, the Living legend....the legend is dead! MJ the King of the world is gone!!! Wow! It still doesn't feel real. He is....was the only musician who is...was known all over the world. He is....was known in every part of the world even in the deepest/bushest village in Africa. The man is....was....I am speechless right now.

I got a message from my sister, Laura, on face book to call her cos she couldn't believe it was real. She couldn't believe someone like him could die, but, C'est la vie.

We are all shocked about this turn of event, putting into consideration his comeback concert he had been preparing for in London. Wow!!!

Geez, what a loss to humanity!

The king of POP IS DEAD!!!

May his soul rest in Peace.

Farrah Fawcett too. Na wa o! I wonder if she got to marry her long term partner before she died. I know he proposed to her recently but I don't know if they got to tie the knots before she died. May her soul rest in peace as well!

ALIYAH DIED ON THE 25TH OF AUGUST,JAMES BROWN DIED ON THE 25TH OF DECEMBER, NOW FARRAH FAWCETT AND MICHAEL JACKSON BOTH DIED ON THE 25TH OF JUNE.
Mmmmm, this date, 25th, na wa o!

It's 10:15pm now in L.A. and there are soooooooooooooo many people gathered outside of Michael's home, The Apollo and outside UCLA Medical centre where he was pronounced dead.

I am currently watching Larry King Live on CNN and one of the reporters just reported that cops are taking/confiscating some of Michael's properties. The reporter said she asked one of the cops why they were taking Michael's things away but they declined to comment. Na wa o. I wonder what's going on.

I'll keep u updated as I get new info.
Update: 10:43pm. Michael's body is now being transported to where an autopsy will be performed on his body.

Husband and wife

Hubby gets 'I Love You' tattooed on his penis and goes home to show his wife.



She says: 'There you go again, trying to put words in my mouth.'



Question and Answer.

Q: WHAT ARE THE SMALL BUMPS AROUND A WOMAN'S NIPPLES FOR ?
A: It's Braille for " suck here. "

Q: WHAT IS AN AUSTRALIAN KISS ?
A: It's the same as a French kiss, but " down under. "

Q: WHAT DO YOU DO WITH 365 USED CONDOMS ?
A: Melt them down, make a tire, and call it a Goodyear.

Q: WHY WERE HURRICANES NORMALLY NAMED AFTER WOMEN ?
A: Because when they come, they're wild and wet. But when they go,
they take your house and car with them.

Q: WHY DO GIRLS RUB THEIR EYES WHEN THEY GET UP IN THE MORNING ?
A: Because they don't have any balls to scratch...

AND:

Q: WHAT IS A MAN'S ULTIMATE EMBARASSMENT?
A: Running into a wall with an erection and breaking his nose.

Playground

A class of five-year old school children return to the classroom after playing in the playground during their break time.

The teacher says to the first child ''Hello Becky, what have you been doing this Playtime?''

Becky replies ''I have been playing in the sand box.''

''Very good,'' says the teacher ''if you can spell 'sand' on the blackboard, I will give you a biscuit.''

Becky duly goes and writes 's a n d' on the blackboard.

''Very good,'' says the teacher and gives Becky a biscuit.


The teacher then says,''Freddie, what have you been doing in your playtime?''

Freddie replies, ''Playing with Becky in the sand box.''

''Very good,'' says the teacher, ''if you can spell 'box' on the blackboard, I will also give you a biscuit.''

Freddie duly goes and writes 'b o x' on the blackboard. ''Very good,'' says the teacher and gives Freddie a biscuit.


Teacher then says,''Hello Mohammed, have you been playing in the sand box with Becky and Freddie?''

''No,'' replies Mohammed, ''I wanted to, but they would not let me. Every time I went near them they started throwing sand at me, calling me nasty names and asking to see under my jacket in case I had explosives.''

''Oh dear,'' says the teacher, ''that sounds like blatant racial discrimination to me -
I'll tell you what, if you can spell 'blatant racial discrimination' I will give you a biscuit.''

Little Johnny Joke and others

Little Johnny Joke.

Teacher: If I gave you 2 rabbits, and another 2 rabbits and another 2, how
many will you have?

Johnny: Seven Sir

Teacher: No, listen carefully. If I gave you 2 rabbits, and another 2
rabbits and another 2, how many will you have?

Johnny: Seven Sir

Teacher: Let me put it to you differently. If I gave you 2 apples, and
another 2 apples and another 2, how many will you have?

Johnny: Six Sir

Teacher: Good. Now if I gave you 2 rabbits, and another 2 rabbits and
another 2, how many will you have?

Johnny: Seven Sir

Teacher: Where the f*** do you get seven from?

Johnny: Because I f***king have one at home.



Jane and Arlene
Jane and Arlene are outside their nursing home, having a drink and a smoke, when it starts to rain. Jane pulls out a condom, cuts off the end, puts it over her cigarette, and continues smoking.

Arlene: What in the hell is that?

Jane: A condom. This way my cigarette doesn't get wet.

Arlene: Where did you get it?

Jane: You can get them at any pharmacy.

The next day, Arlene hobbles herself in to the local pharmacy and announces to the pharmacist that she wants a box of condoms.

The pharmacist, obviously embarrassed, looks at her kind of strangely (she is after all, over 80 years of age), but very delicately asks what brand of condom she prefers.

'Doesn't matter Sonny, as long as it fits on a Camel’

The pharmacist fainted.



WOMEN CAN BE SO INSENSITIVE

Ralph returns from the doctor and tells his wife that the doctor has told him he has only 24 hours to live.

Given this prognosis, Ralph asks his wife for sex. Naturally, she agrees, and they make love.

About six hours later, the husband goes to his wife and says, 'Honey, you know I now have only 18 hours to live. Could we please do it one more time?' Of course, the wife agrees and they do it again.

Later, as the man gets into bed, he looks at his watch and realizes he now has only 8hours left. He touches his wife's shoulder and asks, 'Honey, please - just one more
time before I die ?'

She says, 'Of course, dear.' And they make love for the third time.

After this session, the wife rolls over & falls asleep. Ralph, however, worried about his impending death, tosses & turns until he's down to 4 more hours.

He taps his wife, who rouses. 'Honey , I have only 4 more hours. Do you think we could....?'

At this point the wife rolls over and says, 'Listen Ralph, I have to get up in the morning... you don't.



Subject: Golf Lessons
A husband and wife love to golf together, but neither of them are playing like they want to, so they decide to take private lessons.

The husband has his lesson first. After the pro sees his swing, he says, "No no, no, you're gripping the club way too hard!"
"Well, what should I do?" asks the man. "Hold the club gently," the pro replied, "just like you'd hold your wife's breast."

The man takes the advice, takes a swing, and POW! He hits the ball 250 yds. straight up the fairway. The man goes back to his wife with the good news, and the wife can't wait for her lesson.

The next day the wife goes for her lesson. The pro watches her swing and says, "No, no, no, you're gripping the club way too hard."
"What can I do?" asks the wife. "Hold the club gently, just like you'd hold your husband's penis."

The wife listens carefully to the pro's advice, takes a swing, and THUMP. The ball goes straight down the fairway. . . about 15 ft.

"That was great," the pro says with a straight face. "Now, take the club out of your mouth and swing it like you're supposed to!"




AND HERE'S A LITTLE SOMETHING FOR YOU TECHNOGEEKS



INSTALLING A HUSBAND

Dear Tech Support,

Last year I upgraded from Boyfriend 5.0 to Husband 1.0 and noticed a distinct slow down in overall system performance, particularly in the flower and jewelry applications, which operated flawlessly under Boyfriend 5.0.

In addition, Husband 1.0 uninstalled many other valuable programs, such as Romance 9.5 and Personal Attention 6.5, and then installed undesirable programs such as NBA 5.0, NFL 3.0 and Golf Clubs 4.1.

Conversation 8.0 no longer runs, and Housecleaning 2.6 simply crashes the system.

Please note that I have tried running Nagging 5.3 to fix these problems, but to no avail.

What can I do?

Signed,
Desperate.



DEAR DESPERATE,

First, keep in mind, Boyfriend 5.0 is an Entertainment Package, while Husband 1.0 is an operating system.

Please enter command: ithoughtyoulovedme.html and try to download Tears 6.2 and do not forget to install the Guilt 3.0 update.

If that application works as designed, Husband 1.0 should then automatically run the applications Jewelry 2.0 and Flowers 3.5.

However, remember, overuse of the above application can cause Husband 1.0 to default to Grumpy Silence 2.5, Happy Hour 7.0 or Beer 6.1.

Please note that Beer 6.1 is a very bad program that will download the Farting and Snoring Loudly Beta..

Whatever you do, DO NOT under any circumstances install Mother-In-Law 1.0 (it runs a virus in the background that will eventually seize control of all your system resources.)

In addition, please do not attempt to reinstall the Boyfriend 5.0 ;program.These are unsupported applications and will crash Husband 1.0.

In summary, Husband 1.0 is a great program, but it does have limited memory and cannot learn new applications quickly. You might consider buying additional software to improve memory and performance. We recommend Cooking 3.0 and Hot Lingerie 7.7.

Good Luck Babe!
Tech Support

Man Utd fan kills four Barcelona fans in Nigeria

I usually don't like posting negative reports about this country (cos we already have enough negative reports that will last 50 generations to come) but I was taken aback when I read this on yahoo news some minutes ago.

'A Manchester United fan in Nigeria has allegedly killed four people when he drove into a crowd of Barcelona supporters after his team's Champions League defeat.

Police said the crowd in the town of Ogbo were celebrating Barcelona's victory when the minibus drove into them.

A police spokeswoman said ten people were injured and the driver was arrested.

She said: "The driver had passed the crowd then made a U-turn and ran into them."

Barcelona beat Manchester United 2-0 in what has been hailed as a "dream final" between two of Europe's best clubs.

Both teams have large fan bases in Nigeria, Africa's most populous nation'.

Football is supposed to be about Unity and friendship and bla bla, so why go this far? It's ridiculous what this guy did and I hope he gets what he deserves...fucking cunt!(excuse my vocabulary).

Basket ball player Sun Mingming

Gee!!! I have always liked tall guys but this one beats them all! lol. He seems to be a good basket ball player though.



Read more about him here http://sports.yahoo.com/nba/news?slug=ap-sunshining&prov=ap&type=lgns

My current top Naija songs

These are my current top Naija Songs
Bracket (Yori Yori) I love this song! I have played it a zillion times, my sister now hates it cos of my constant play, lol.


'See my moto, come wa ya photo'..lol. 'Tear rubber everything...well, almost everything',lol. Lau, lau spending pounds ati dollars,I'm a big boy,they hate on me cos I'm a big boy! I gat too much money la po,no be my fault. Based on a fine boy too much swagger...lol. I love the lyrics of this song! I play it at least 5times a day! lol.


This is one of my sister's all time favorite, lol.


Another all-time favorite.




People are crazy about 'Bumper to Bumper' but I aint feeling it.


I love this song!




I love ALL songs by D'Banj and Mo'hits records.


I know it's an old song but I still love it!


N'ko ti o ba ti wun anybody lo le fenu won so, lol. I dont know if that Yoruba was correct, lol.


Another old song but it makes me move my body all the time.


Another oldie that I love.


This is an awesome song but the audio quality on youtube is bad. Manage am o!

Parent Alert

Most popular acronyms teenagers use to beat their parents from knowing what they actually say. Parents take not! Lol. Teenagers, sorry for busting some of ur codes, lol.

1 ADR - Address
2 ASL - Age/Sex/Location
3 Banana - Penis
4 CD9/Code9 -Parents are around
5 DUM - Do You Masturbate?
6 DUSL - Do You Scream Loud?
7 FB - F*** Buddy
8 FMLTWIA - F*** Me Like The Whore I Am
9 FOL - Fond of Leather
10 GNOC - Get Naked On Cam
11 GYPO - Get Your Pants Off
12 IAYM - I Am Your Master
13 IF/IB - In the Front or In the Back
14 IIT - Is It Tight?
15 ILF/MD - I Love Female/Male Dominance
16 IMEZRU - I Am Easy, Are You?
17 IWSN - I Want Sex Now
18 J/O - Jerking Off
19 KFY/ K4Y - Kiss For You
19 Kitty - Vagina
20 KPC - Keeping Parents Clueless
21 M/F - Male or Female
22 LMIRL - Let's Meet In Real Life
23 MOOS - Member Of The Opposite Sex
24 WYCM - Will You Call Me?
25 MOS - Mom Over Shoulder
26 MPFB - My Personal F*** Buddy
27 NALOPKT - Not A Lot Of People Know That
28 NIFOC - Nude In Front Of The Computer
29 NMU - Not Much, You?
30 P911 - Parent Alert
31 PAL - Parents Are Listening
32 PAW - Parents Are Watching
33 PIR - Parent In Room
34 POS - Parent Over Shoulder or Piece Of Sh**
35 PRON - Porn
36 Q2C - Quick To Cum
37 RU/18 - Are You Over 18?
38 RUH - Are You Horny?
39 S2R - Send To Receive
40 S/G - Straight or Gay
41 TDTM - Talk Dirty To Me
42 KMTTP - Kiss Me Through The Phone
Voila! Lol.

Heonce doing Single ladies

This guy is awesome! Lol. U go gurl...umm I mean u go boy! Seriously, he should either be a dance coach or be employed as a professional dancer! He is AMAZING! Introducing........ HEONCE!!!!(Beyonce dance-alike.)

HELP!!!!!!!!!!!

Hey people,

I have messed up my blog setting. I dont know how I did it but I did, lol.

Can someone out there kindly tell me how to put it back to the way it used to be?

I'd appreciate ur help.

Thanks and Regards,

Vera.

Twins with different fathers

I had a huge argument with a good friend of mine in February this year, when he suggested that it was possible for a woman to have twins by different fathers. This argument went on for a long time until he decided to show me proof. He went online,did some researches and showed me some articles but I still refused to believe him, I told him it was IMPOSSIBLE for that to happen until I saw and read this article. Is this amazing or is this some bullshit story? lol.(Sorry, had to say that cos I am still baffled by the possibility).

Twins Justin and Jordan turned out to be half-brothers

A mother of twins has had a shock after doctors revealed that her 11-month-old boys do not have the same father.
Mia Washington decided to get some expert advice when she and her partner noticed that twins Justin and Jordan had different facial features.
Paternity tests then revealed what had happened - two eggs had been fertilised by two different sperm and there was a 99.99% chance the twins had different dads.
Doctors at the DNA lab in Dallas, Texas had never seen such a result.
Mia later admitted she had had an affair and got pregnant by two different men at the same time.
She told TV channel Fox 4: "Out of all people in America and of all people in the world, it had to happen to me. I'm very shocked."


Mum Mia shocked by discovery
Clear Diagnostics president Genny Thibodeaux said: "It is very crazy. Most people don't believe it can happen, but it can."
Sky's health correspondent Thomas Moore explains: "A woman can release two eggs from her ovaries, and the eggs will remain viable for 24 hours after ovulation.
"Sperm can survive up to five days inside a woman's body, so a woman could sleep with different men several days apart, and get pregnant not once, but twice."
And while it sounds rare, recent research indicates that one in 12 non-identical twins are so-called bi-paternal, with a rise in fertility treatment and changing sexual behaviour being blamed.
Mia's partner James Harrison is father to one of the boys.
He told Fox 4 that he had forgiven his fiancee for having the affair and intended to raise both children as his own.
However, he admitted it had been tough discovering the truth.
"It's a day by day thing. It's going to take time to build the trust like we had," he said.
The couple plan to tell the twins they are half-brothers when they are old enough to understand.

Twins with Two Dads: DNA test proves twins born to different fathers

Despite the fact that they were born at the same time to the same mother, Justin and Jordan look nothing like twins, besides having the same skin color. In fact, they look so different that James Harrison, the supposed father, decided to request a paternity test. Turns out, his instincts were right: One of the infants is his child, and the other is not.
Mia Washington, the mother of the “twins,” admitted to cheating on Harrison, her fiancé, prior to becoming pregnant. But she didn’t have any idea the pregnancy was a result of two separate sets of sperm.
Biologically speaking, this can happen when two or more eggs from the same woman are fertilized during the same ovulation period by two different men. When this rare event occurs, it is called heteropaternal superfecundation—and we really mean rare: There have only been about 10 other cases of this, according to the president of Clear Diagnostics’ DNA lab, Genny Thibodeaux. And in those cases, it was more obvious because the children were of different ethnic backgrounds.
The Telegraph failed terribly when explaining the results of the paternity test:
According to the paternity test, there’s a 99.999 percent chance Justin and Jordan do not have the same father, and zero percent chance they do.” What the reporter meant to say is: There’s a 99% chance that one of the babies belongs to Harrison, and a zero percent chance the other child is his.
Also worth noting: “Miss Washington, from Dallas, Texas, said she plans to tell the boys about their DNA differences when they’re old enough to understand. But she says she has no plans to tell the other father.” .....Which is why she told a reporter? lol.

Secret

This post is dedicated to married and unmarried people.

If you're not married yet, share this with a friend but if u are married, share this with your spouse and other married friends.
An African proverb states, "Before you get married, keep both eyes open, and after you marry, close one eye." Before you get involved and make a commitment to someone, don't let lust, desperation, immaturity, ignorance, pressure from others or a low self-esteem, make you blind to warning signs.

Keep your eyes open, and don't fool yourself that you can change someone or that what you see as faults aren't really important. Once you decide to commit to someone, over time his or her flaws, vulnerabilities, pet peeves, and differences will become more obvious. If you love your mate and want the relationship to grow and evolve, you've got to learn to close one eye and not let every little thing bother you. You and your mate have many different expectations, emotional needs, values, dreams, weaknesses, and strengths.

You are two unique individual children of God who have decided to share a life together. Neither of you are perfect, but are you perfect for each other? Do you bring out the best in each other? Do you compliment and compromise with each other, or do you compete, compare, and control? What do you bring to the relationship? Do you bring past relationships, past hurt, past mistrust, past pain? You can't take someone to the altar to alter him or her.

You can't make someone love you or make someone stay. If you develop self-esteem, spiritual discernment, and "a life", you won't find yourself making someone else responsible for your happiness or responsible for your pain.

Manipulation, control, jealousy, neediness, and selfishness are not the ingredients of a thriving! , health y, loving and lasting relationship! Seeking status, sex, wealth, and security are the wrong reasons to be in a relationship.

What keeps a relationship strong? Sharing common goals and interests.Communication, intimacy, trust, a sense of humor, sharing household tasks, some getaway time without business or children and daily exchanges, a meal, shared activity, a hug, a call, a touch, a note. Leave a nice message on the voice mail or send a nice email.

Growth is important. Grow together, not away from each other, giving each other space to grow without feeling insecure. Allow your mate to have outside interests. You can't always be together. Give each other a sense of belonging and assurances of commitment. Don't try to control one another. Learn each other's family situation. Respect his or her parents regardless.

Don't put pressure on each other for material goods. Remember for richer or for poorer.

If these qualities are missing, the relationship will erode as resentment, withdrawal, abuse, neglect, dishonesty, and pain replaces the passion.

The difference between 'United' and 'Untied' is where you put the I.

Cheers!

Roger Federer is married and expecting first child

My favorite Tennis player in the world, Roger Federer, is now married to his longtime girlfriend, Mirka Vavrinec, whom he met at the 2000 Sydney Olympics where they both represented Switzerland.They got married in a small ceremony last saturday in his hometown. He announced the wedding on his Web site, saying they got married "surrounded by a small group of close friends and family." "It was a beautiful spring day and an incredibly joyous occasion," he said.

Mirka who is three years older than Federer, has ALWAYS been at all of his games and has always offered him her support. I have seen her at ALL of his games where she sits or stands (depending on Roger's exquisite moves) and cheers her man on. Another source of joy for the newlyweds is that they are expecting a baby !!!

The 27-year-old Swiss star confirmed the news on his blog.
"Mirka and I are excited to let you know that we will be parents this summer!" People quoted Federer as writing on his blog.

"Mirka is pregnant and we are so happy to be starting a family together. This is a dream come true for us."

"We love children and we are looking forward to being parents for the first time. Mirka is feeling great and everything is going well," he added.

Congratulations Huband and daddy! I am so happy for him. I hope he has a son so I can matchmake him with my daughter....when I have one, lol.

Madonna's adoption of Mercy James refused

It's a shame about Madonna's adoption denial. they have not hurt the music star at all, rather, they have hurt the chance of that girl, Mercy James to a better-stress free future. I am not saying she cant succeed on her own, but come one people, how easier would things have been if she had been adopted by Madonna.

Anyways...nothing more to say. The star did her best!

Good luck to Mercy James and the people who think they can control her life.