Church Analytics

Tuesday, March 31, 2009

Naija man busted on cheaters

I have watched this video a billion times and still cant stop laughing each time I watch it.

My favorite parts: The imitation by jacqueline Usman: "Wot is the meaning of all dis" and "is all ova". Hahahaha

So please sit back, relax and enjoy!

Madonna and adoption troubles

I have been watching this Madonna's adoption palaver with keen interest and a bit of irritation.
I don't know why organisations like 'Save the Children' won't mind their own business and let the less privileged in the society make any progress. I don't know why Madonna is keen on the Mercy girl, if they don't want her to adopt the child, she should adopt another child.

I watched an interview where one of the staff of 'Save the children' organisation ran his mouth saying that 'orphans have at least a member of the family that could look after them. If they had a member of their family to look after them, then why in heaven's name are the kids in orphanages?
" He also said it was better for an orphan to be raised in their own country" Shut the fuck up man! Who died and made u King? What the fuck does he know about Africa, children, life and poverty? I will tell u the answer... Fuck all! He doesn't know shit! He is white,a Brit,and could go to any part of the world he wants with little or no stress, so why not let the child have the opportunity to a better life? Geez man!

Does he know the kind of life that child would have if she was taken to the US? She isn't just gonna live in the States as a nobody, she is gonna live a life of privilege and opportunity, she is gonna live with a fucking star for fuck sakes! Lol.

On a lighter note.
If Madonna came to Nigeria to adopt any child, I bet u, a lot of parents will take their children to the orphanage she will be visiting, lol. The kids/toddlers will even walk in to the orphanage themselves and register themselves as orphans, hahaha. They will also sternly warn their parents not to come anywhere near them during the singer's visit, hahaha.

2 weeks after they get adopted, their father would call and say "Hey, ur mum is sick o, abeg send us some money" hahahaha.

Just kidding, but the situation in this country is that bad for some people, lol.

Saturday, March 28, 2009

Woman with no rib

This woman had her ribs removed by a plastic suregeon. I think she should have had a face lift as well...and perhaps...a tummy tuck, lol.

She looks like she's got a carrot stuck up her ass! haha.

Lifestyle of the rich in Nigeria

Someone sent me this email and I decided to share it. Please read and enjoy!

MONEY talks. In Nigeria , it actually shouts. Especially in the lives and lifestyles of those who have it in abundance.
While the economic crisis takes its toll on Nigerians, the taste of Nigerian rich men for luxury is anything but waning.

While the stock market is down and people's savings have been wiped out, a few Nigerians are still living life to the fullest, flying around in private jets. Money, indeed talks. While it has said goodbye to mostly poor Nigerians, it is screaming "watch me do wonders" in the pockets of a few. While the market for many products is shrinking, private jet manufacturers and dealers have found a ready market in Nigeria.

Indeed, Bombadier and Hawker Beechcraft Corporation, both jet manufacturers, have never had it so good. Overflying the Nigerian airspace today are some of the best and, of course, most expensive private jets these companies have on offer. Ironically, just as there are more commercial airlines today than ever, making commuting easier for all even without having to own a private plane, never has there been as many private jets as there are now.

"Nowhere in Africa, not even in South Africa is there the number of private jets as we have now available," said an aviation expert And the international community has taken an interest not only in the taste of Nigerians for these private jets but the source of the money for their purchase. Late last year, a Challenger 500 landed at the Luton Airport in England . Its sole passenger was a former presidential aide renowned for his closeness to former President Olusegun Obasanjo and still wielding considerable influence in the Umaru Musa Yar'Adua administration. That not being his first visit to England in that craft and yet another one which is known to regularly convey his wife and children to any place in the world from their base in South Africa, the British authorities picked him up and questioned him on his business deals and source of his wealth. The investigation indeed, is still going on.

In the last one year, the number of private jets bought by Nigerians has more than doubled. Specifically, at least five Hawker 900 XP, a luxurious wonder in the air have been bought. Each, according to an official of the Hawker Beechcraft Corporation, cost $14.9 million. Another five 800 XP at the cost of $13 million each have been purchased. Two brand new Hawker 4000, which Dan Keady of Hawker Corporation confirmed, is about $21 million each, are already in Nigeria too. One belongs to a banker and the second one belongs to an oil company. The Guardian learnt that Femi Otedola, who has just been named by FORBES magazine as one of the world's richest men may have purchased a Challenger Global 5000.
This aircraft, with a Rolls Royce engine, has a luxurious seating for 14 passengers and an interior that merits the description "palace in the air." It reportedly costs about $51 million.

Aliko Dangote who had preceded him on that list of the world's richest is said to have purchased a Challenger Global Express. Indeed, the Express also with a Rolls Royce engine and manufactured in 2008 was listed for $58 million in December.

They are not alone. Bankers, oil industry chieftains, wheelers, dealers and even church leaders like David Oyedepo of Living Faith Church ,the late Gabriel Oduyemi of Bethel Church and Enoch Adeboye of the Redeemed Christian Church of God are in the jet set.

Another rich businessman from the North, reportedly a member of the Dantata trading family, is believed to have his Gulfstrem G550 on the way to join an already ample fleet. This luxury aircraft has a seating capacity for 19 passengers and the seating areas are divided into three, with a separate dinning area.

An oil company, is believed to own four Hawker planes while a fifth is due soon. There are several other rich Nigerians like one Dr. Kashim who has two aircraft, including a Hawker 600 and a Learjet.

Business mogul, Mike Adenuga of Globacom, and another rich young man, a banker reputed to be the richest in the sector, owning the majority of his bank's shares, have already placed orders for Falcon 7X. A purchase contract sighted by The Guardian showed that the total purchase price of this plane is $49.5 million. At the contract signing, one of the buyers paid $10.9 million. Second payment was $2 million, third would be $4 million and fourth payment is $8 million. A fifth payment of $12.2 million will be made six months to delivery, while another $12.4 million represents final payment due at delivery "plus economic price adjustment." Adenuga currently owns a Challenger 604, Same as Oyedepo and Joseph Arumemi-Johnson of Arik Air.

An interesting dimension however to this jet craze is that most of the planes owned by Nigerians are registered in South Africa. Indeed, an openly-discussed topic in the South African Aviation sector is the number of aircraft registered in that country but belonging to Nigerians and, of course, the source of the money.
"If it is the Nigerian petro-dollars, then the Saudis and the Kuwaitis must be wondering if they know the meaning of the good life," a South African engineer said.

While unravelling the rationale behind the registration of most of the planes in South Africa and not Nigeria , The Guardian learnt that any plane registered on 5N, call sign for a Nigerian-registered plane, hardly gets good money value back. So, apart from possible concealment of ownership identity, good valuation is also one major reason the planes are registered in South Africa and not in Nigeria.

This is why across the nation's airports and private hangars the registration numbers on the jets are ZS - PPH, ZS - SGV, ZS-B0V, ZS-PTP, ZS-BOT (believed to belong to a former governor from the South West), ZS-S0V, ZS-SAH, ZS-PCT, ZS-PKY and so on. ZS is the call sign of South Africa . ZS-BOV and ZS-SOV are believed to be owned by the same person. Of course, there are some with Nigerian registration numbers like N2208L belonging to a bank or its chief executive and 3B-MGT believed to have been leased by another bank. But another worry in the aviation circle is that not only are the planes registered in South Africa, the owners ensure that almost all the pilots, technicians, engineers and crew are also from South Africa."Many of them who had Nigerian crew have sacked them "a source told The Guardian. Why? "Maybe the owners feel more secure with foreign crew. But such a large number of foreigners in our airspace undermine national security, not to mention the unemployment problem it creates for indigenous aviation experts" he said.

In recent times, there have been complaints all over the country about the life-style of chief executives of banks and corporate bodies who own a fairly high proportion of the jets in Nigeria . The questions being asked especially of publicly quoted companies are: Are the aircraft part of the quoted companies' assets? Who authorised the purchase? The board or the shareholders? And could this luxurious lifestyle be a contributing factor to the plunge in the value of people's investments? Would it not be necessary to cut costs, win investors' confidence by cutting down on such things as private jets? "When you add the cost of all these jets to the cost of their daily maintenance, you are likely to get enough to boost the nation's comatose manufacturing sector or agriculture and generate employment," said Toyin Sonola, an international lawyer and economist. But the argument of some of the jet owners is that the aircraft is a business tool. "It is not necessarily a status symbol or evidence of ostentatious living, "said. "If you are in our kind of business, with a busy schedule across the world, you would recognise the need for the jet."

This notwithstanding, not a few Nigerians believe that the billions of naira humming in the airspace could be put to better use on ground in agriculture and infrastructural development.

What is your 2 cents on this?

Friday, March 27, 2009

13 year old Alfie not a father afterall

A DNA test showed a 13-year-old boy in Britain is not the father of a baby born to a 15-year-old he had unprotected sex with once.

Chantelle Stedman told Alfie Patten, who was 12 when he slept with her, he was her newborn daughter Maisie's father.

The story caused a worldwide media frenzy after it was first reported by Skynews in February '09.

At first Stedman said Patten was the only boy she had ever slept with, but soon after other teens came forward saying they too could be the baby's father, because they claimed to have had sex with the girl.

It is still not clear who the baby's father is.

Last month a friend of the Stedman family claimed Patten was scammed by the girl's parents who wanted to cash in on the sensational story.

Monday, March 9, 2009

World's oldest conjoined twins

I read an astonishing article this morning. I was in so much awe after I read it, hence my decision to share.

Please read this article and marvel at God's wonders.

Copy and paste this link unto ur browser 'cos I tried to put the link directly here, but I'm having problems doing so.

Try this. Please let me know if u could read this article via this link. Thx.

Sunday, March 8, 2009

My dream man, Robin Hood of Sherwood

Who remembers Robin Hood of Sherwood? Gee, I had the most amazing dream with him in it today and I was thrilled beyond any imaginable pleasure. Then someone (one bad belle person) rang my phone and spoilt my beautiful dream.

I was bewildered I dreamt of him cos the last time I watched that series was in the early to mid '90s!!!!

So I got up, came online and googled the series and what did I see and read? A lot! I was like a little girl once more when I watched part of the series on Youtube!!!!!!
See this sweet, chasis man! Is he every girl's dream or is he every girl's dream??? Oooolalacious! I can't believe he still makes me feel giddy inside. I saw the now mature him, but don't wanna lose this image of him,mm, mm, mmh, so I am keeping this image, lol.

Check out more info here: Check this hot guy out abeg!
I was so much in love with Robin Hood as a child, not Michael Praed but Robin, and Much and Little John and Marian and the Priest and Nasir(the one who only talked once in a year, lol) and the bad guy, can't remember his name.
Robin and Marian below, loved their love 'nwantin ti' in the series, lol.

I really really tried to upload his youtube video to my blog but I couldn't. Yaaaaaaaaaay, I managed to figure it out.

Ok, enough of my saliva dripping over him, lol.

Check this short preview out!

This is the best Robin Hood series ever and the sound track, the best! I have refused to watch any of the other Robin Hoods cos none of them is as cute as Michael Praed!

Some Americans aren't so stupid afterall or are they?

I saw this video on an old friend's blog and couldn't stop laughing and because I like to share funny stuff, I decided to post it on my blog as well.

After I watched the video (about 20 times ROTFL), I sent it to my Nkem, who is an American and his reply was....."The journalist probably interviewed a bunch of people but only aired the dumb ones". So what? It doesn't matter if he aired the dumb ones, what matters is that, there are actually people like this in America. Is that not what Westerners do when they come to any part of Africa? They come here and then go back to their countries with ONLY BAD reports on Africa.So who gives a s**t? Not moi, hahaha.

Check out the video below

Hahahaha.....Some Americans are funny!

Robin Hood series

I spent a lot of time on you tube watching some of the series. I enjoyed them a lot, however, there were some really nice video shots that were spoilt by people who used them as sound tracks...spoilt the whole effect for me.

There was one soundtrack though that had all the greatest shots of Robin Hood, titled 'Send me an angel', it was awesome but the owner disabled the embed link so I couldn't upload it here.

Check out these very cool videos.

Sunday, March 1, 2009

Only for those with a good sense of humor

This post is ONLY meant for those who have a good sense of humor. No offence meant here. Just for laffs!

There were 3 good arguments that Jesus was Black:
1. He called everyone brother
2. He liked Gospel
3. He didn't get a fair trial.

But then there were 3 equally good arguments that Jesus was Jewish:
1. He went into His Father's business
2. He lived at home until he was 33
3. He was sure his Mother was a virgin and his Mother was sure He was God.

But then there were 3 equally good arguments that Jesus was Italian:
1. He talked with His hands
2. He had wine with His meals
3. He used olive oil.

But then there were 3 equally good arguments that Jesus was a Californian:
1. He never cut His hair
2. He walked around barefoot all the time
3. He started a new religion.

But then there were 3 equally good arguments that Jesus was an American Indian:
1. He was at peace with nature
2. He ate a lot of fish
3. He talked about the Great Spirit.

But then there were 3 equally good arguments that Jesus was Irish:
1. He never got married.
2. He was always telling stories.
3. He loved green pastures.

But the most compelling evidence of all - 3 proofs that Jesus was a woman:
1. He fed a crowd at a moment's notice when there was virtually no food
2. He kept trying to get a message across to a bunch of men who just didn't get it
3. And even when He was dead, He had to get up because there was still work to do.