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Wednesday, April 18, 2007

Understanding Men in relationships.

The 3 Deadly Mistakes Women Make With Men Without EVER Realizing It...
Here they are:
Mistake #1: Leading A Man To Think You Are "Needy" And "Insecure"
Did you know that there are 6 ways you can set off a man's "Insecurity Alert" and make him think twice about pursuing a relationship with you?
Sadly, even confident women often "accidentally" give off one of these signs... and just one can kill the chance of a man asking you on a second date.
a. Talking or saying nasty things about your past boyfriends. Saying bad things about men you have been involved with actually reflects the negatively back on YOU. It makes a man worry you are carrying around "baggage" that HE will have to deal with should he become involved with you.
b. Speaking negatively about other women. When women call other women names like "slut", "bitch", and "crazy", it is anything but impressive to a man you are attracted you. Women will often do this when they see a good looking, desirable woman, especially if they feel their man might be attracted to her. This just makes a man think you are trying to cover up your own insecurities, and looking for validation and attention. Not good.
c.Too much physical contact, especially in public:If you are constantly hanging on a man or touching him too much he'll start to see it as clingy behavior... but you'll never hear about this from him. It's far better to save your touches for short and infrequent moments that will surprise and enchant him.
The next 3 are far deadlier, but less obvious... and it's important that you learn what they are and how to avoid giving them off but before then lets talk about Mistake 2.
» Mistake #2: Appealing To His "Sexual" Side Instead Of His Emotional Side
Many women make the mistake of thinking that men are primarily driven by sex alone... and think if they can attract a man SEXUALLY they will be able to attract him EMOTIONALLY as well.
Women too often give up sex to a man in the hopes that it will translate into a relationship and get them what they want. In reality, a man has the capacity to view a sexual connection and an emotional connection as two entirely different things, and it requires a special set of skills to mold these two things together in a man's mind... and keep them connected.
Men are out for far more than just sex... and a woman who knows how to fulfill a man EMOTIONALLY and SEXUALLY will be the woman who captures a man's heart... and gets that same fulfillment for HERSELF. In a moment, I'll show you how you can learn to do just that...

» Mistake #3: Not Knowing How To Size Up A Man's "Relationship Potential"
A lot of women will decide whether or not they should put energy into building a relationship with a man based on ATTRACTION.
Yes, attraction is important. But it can also be DANGEROUS.
When we feel a strong sense of attraction for someone, it can cause us to override our logic and ignore our instincts... leading us to overlook potential partner's deadly faults that could spell trouble down the road.
If you've ever found yourself stuck in a relationship that is dragging you down, this is probably why.
It's important to be able to size a guy up and spot any "warning signs" of a future bad relationship FAST... so you don't waste any of your time or emotional energy on someone who isn't right for you... or who will leave you heartbroken.

4 comments:

Anonymous said...

Good article Vera, but let me share a few of the mistakes that women have made with me.
The first and most insulting is that they fall for the "men stereotypes". Ladies, not all men live in dirty little apartments on lawn furniture with pizza boxes and beer cans and dirty laundry all over the place. Personally, my little apartment is relatively clean. I have regular furniture. The dirty laundry is in a hamper in the closet and there are no beer cans all over the place. I like beer in bottles.
Next, would be to assume that just because a man's home is clean and he can cook for himself, he just doesn't need her. Ladies there is more to a relationship than cooking and cleaning. Personally, If I need someone to cook and clean, I can call my mum or hire a maid. But there are things I just can't do with my mum or a maid if you know what I'm saying. DEFINITELY not with mum but a maid....well.....
Finally, and possibly even more insulting than the first one is to assume that a man is gay just because he doesn't want to have sex with you after only having known a couple of hours. In this day and age of STD's and AIDS, people really need to be careful of who they sleep with. And it just might be possible that HE JUST AIN'T IN TO YOU.
THE PHANTOM

Vera Ikeji said...

@ The Phantom. Lol. I like ur insightful contribution. Thanks for ur advise. I'm sure u have cleared a few things for the ladies. Can i post this advise as a post on its own?

Anonymous said...

VERA...I'm touched. Please feel free to use anything I write in any way you see fit. THE PHANTOM

Vera Ikeji said...

@ The Phantom. Thanks for ur permission.